Beacon
by LadyDae
Summary: Sequel to The Magic Games. If it were up to me, I'd like to forget that my participation in last year's Magic Games ever happened. But the Victory Tour, carefully planned for midway between the annual games, won't allow us. In past years, I paid little attention to it, but now I'm one of the stars of the show.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: **Long time no see people! It's been a while. Four and a half months to be exact and a lot has been going on. In the last four and a half months, I finished my novel _Confessions of A Teenage Rape Survivor,_ and it's set to be released October 16th 2014. Yeap folks. I wrote a book and have been getting ready to release it in the time I've been gone (and yes that was a shameless plug. Check out my profile for the link to it if you're interested.). Needless to say, I'm burnt out. So I'm doing what I always do when I'm burnt out. I'm writing fanfiction! Of course, this has been in the works for months but I haven't had time to work on it. Now I'm ready to because it's fun and no pressure writing.

Fair warning, this is a sequel people. You need to go back and read _The Magic Games _so you won't be clueless. Also, this is a CCS/Hunger Games mesh which means it's not a crossover but more like put the CCS characters and conventions into _The Hunger Games _setting. That also means it's not necessary for you to have read _The Hunger Games_ to follow these stories. Also this story is rated T for violence, mild language, and content that may not be suitable for anyone under the age of thirteen. Other than that it's pretty mild and as always, excuse any typos or errors.

Now that all that is out the way, without further ado I give you….

* * *

**Beacon**

**1**

_It's all right daijoubu daijoubu daijoubu  
kiseki datte okoseru  
Here we go ikou yo ikou yo ikou yo  
tsubasa hiroge  
kitto nani ka ga nani ka ga doko ka de  
deaeru hi o matteru  
Do! Do! Do! Dreaming! Dreaming!  
soshite tobira ga hiraku yo..._

"You're doing it again."

I blink out my thoughts and turn to my best friend, Toya. He's still looking straight ahead as we make our way back from the woods. I probably should be in more of a rush considering the cameras will be back in less than an hour for Sakura's and I's Victory Tour, but I'm admittedly relishing these last few moments of peace before my whole life is under all Magea's scrutiny again.

"Doing what?"

"You're singing that song."

"What song?"

"That one you've been singing lately," Toya replied.

I shrug. "I guess I must have picked it up somewhere from the Capitol," I say.

"No you didn't. You used to sing it before, not all the time and never in public, so I never mentioned it. But you've been singing it a lot more lately and I figured I better warn you before you get caught doing it on camera or something," Toya replied. "Where'd you learn it?"

"I don't know. I didn't even realize I was singing anything until now."

Toya hums and says, "Maybe it's from before."

"Before?"

"You know. Before you were with us."

I shrug in dismissal of the idea as we continue to Victor Village after spending the morning in the woods. Since Sakura and I have more money that we know what to do with after winning the Magic Games, Toya's had a lot more time on his hands and much of that time has been spent out in the woods with me.

"Should we go get Sakura and Clow," Toya asks as we enter Victor Village.

I glance at Clow's house and then shake my head. Sakura won't get so caught up in whatever she's up to with Clow that she'll forget that the cameras come back today, especially since she's the one that reminded me this morning. Still, I never know with the two of them when it comes to magic.

I head straight for the kitchen when in the house. I was so eager to enjoy my last few hours of freedom this morning that I rushed out the house without making any coffee and even I'll admit that I have much less patience without it. I'm going to need all the patience in the world when my old prep team and our escort come from the Capitol to help parade Sakura and I through Magea for the Victory Tour. If it were up to me, I'd like to forget that my participation in last year's Magic Games even happened. But the Victory tour, carefully planned for midway between the annual games, won't allow us. In past years, I paid little attention to it, but now I'm one of the stars of the show.

I stop just before getting to the kitchen upon catching sight of Sakura sitting quietly on the couch in the living room. Immediately, I detect that something isn't right. Normally Sakura would have met us at the doorway if she sensed we were coming, which I know she had to with her magic developing as fast as it is now that she has a little more freedom to use it. There are only two conclusions. She's so distracted by something that she didn't sense us or whatever is distracting her is so consuming that she did sense us and didn't care to greet us. Either reason is concerning.

"Sakura," Toya says when he comes in behind me.

She blinks and then yelps, "Hoe!"

So she didn't sense us. It's been a while sense we've scared her so badly that she used that expression.

"You're quiet," Toya points out.

Sakura shrugged and then said, "Just a little tired is all."

The she gasps and stands up and makes her way over to me.

"Look what Clow and I did," Sakura says holding out a pink long rectangular card to me.

"What's this?" I ask, but upon holding it in my hand part of my question is answered as I feel the surge of magic from it. On the front of the card is a drawing of one of the spirits we encountered in the Magic Games or at least it looks like a drawing. Somehow I don't need Sakura to tell me that this is Windy.

The Games weren't over when we first came back to District Twelve as Victors. For weeks, the cameras followed Sakura and I around in our daily lives. Why the Capitol is so interested in our daily lives when we have nothing to do after the Games, I have no clue, but Sakura has become more popular after the Games than she ever was during them. Tomoyo, my stylist, tells me that she's Magea's new darling, and after the games no one could get enough of following her and by proxy, following me, her ever protective guardian, lover, companion—I'm not sure what they're calling me nowadays.

Finally though, the cameras left and the next morning, Sakura is sitting at the kitchen table waiting for me to awake. It almost feels like back before we won the games; with Sakura quietly waiting for me to drink my coffee, with there being no words between us as we walk the familiar path through the meadow, as we both pause to listen for the hum of the electric fence to assure that it's safe to pass through one of its gaping holes. However, as soon as we stepped into the woods, I knew everything had changed. I no longer felt the sense of relief and freedom I used to feel when coming out into the woods, the sense of self. Now the woods are tainted by the Magic Games, where Sakura and I spent weeks trapped in woods just like these fighting to the death with twenty-two other child tributes. Even so, being in the woods was less suffocating than being in town all day and followed by cameras.

Sakura and I don't do anything in particular that first day, other than sitting right outside the tree line and the next two days go much the same way. However, on the fourth day is something different. It _feels _like the Magic Games. Without much thought, I head straight to get my bow and arrow, which I haven't thought about touching once since we got back. As soon as I pull back an arrow, the source of the disturbance reveals itself.

Windy.

Sakura and I stare at her in dumfound disbelief for a moment, even as Windy greets us with her customary "hugs." Finally I scowl and manage to ask what the spirit is doing here though the answer is obvious enough. Windy confirms it by giving us another of her "hugs." She followed us from the Magic Games. While tributes making companions out of spirits is pretty normal in the Magic Games, I've never heard of one following a Victor out the arena. I'm just glad the spirit had the sense to wait to reveal herself until after the cameras left.

Since Windy made it apparent she had no intention of leaving us, Sakura went straight to Clow for help. Even though I admit that it was Clow's careful guidance that helped get Sakura and I through the games, I'm still not his biggest fan so I had no involvement in Sakura's little project. In fact, until she showed me this card, I had forgotten about it. Sakura's name is written on the bottom of the front and when I flip it over to look at the back, I see the crest that she, Kero, and I created during the games.

"How'd you manage this?"

Sakura shrugged. "I came up with the idea of containing her in something I could carry around, and Clow helped a lot. Now Windy can go with us on the tour."

"That's nice. Make sure you keep it safe," I say handing the card back to her.

Translation: Don't let anyone else know about this. Sakura looks me dead in the eye and then nods, signaling to me that she understands what I really mean. We're already in enough trouble with the Capitol as it is for finding a loophole in their own game and forcing them to take two tributes alive instead of one.

"You should go get ready," I say. "Cameras will be here soon."

Sakura nods and makes her way upstairs.

I finally make my way to the kitchen. As I do so, Toya chuckles.

"There was a time she would have run up to me to show me stuff like that. Now she hardly notices I'm in the room when you're around," Toya says.

I smile a little as I tease, "Jealous?"

"Maybe. But more of Sakura than you," Toya says in a tone that's between joking and serious.

Whatever way he meant it causes me to stiffen for a brief moment. Then I become annoyed and glare at him as I practically slam the pot onto the stove, sloshing water all over the counter.

"Toya. Don't," I warn.

Toya sighs as he comes to the other side of the counter to stand in front of me. I unconsciously take a step back, dismayed that the stove behind me prevents me from creating more distance between us.

"I'm not," Toya assures me with a sigh, but that doesn't stop him from grabbing my hand and pressing a kiss to my forehead. Afterwards, he lets go of my hand and says, "You should go upstairs and get ready too. I'll watch your coffee."

I make my way from Toya and upstairs as fast as I can without running, releasing a breath I didn't realize I was holding when I get to my room, and prepare to take a bath. To think I thought Toya would be upset with me for appearing like I was in love with Sakura in front of the entire nation. The last thing I was expecting was that Toya might be upset because he was jealous. I don't see how I was so blind to it. Instead of becoming more protective of Sakura when we arrived back from the Capitol, he essentially gave Sakura's and I's supposed relationship his blessing to the whole nation.

"_Who better to love my sister than the one who would die to protect her?"_ he said.

It took all my willpower to not open my mouth in shock at the words and instead appear relieved that he approved while the cameras were rolling. Considering the cameras were rolling for weeks afterward, I didn't get a chance to ask him about it for a while or even explain that the whole thing was mostly a ruse to gain the sympathy of the Capitol. When I did finally explain it, Toya chuckled and said, "I knew that."

"How?" I asked.

"Because, Yue, I know you better than anyone," Toya replied.

In hindsight, I should have known there was more to his casual acceptance then, but I didn't really know until he spelled it out for me on my birthday. I have no clue how Sakura and Toya managed to orchestrate a surprise party for me without me knowing, but they did. Normally, my birthday goes by without much fanfare. As far as I'm usually concerned it only means another slip in the reaping bowl. Besides, the efforts are usually only spared for Sakura, whom for so many years a birthday party once a year was the only indulgence we could spare her. Now that we have a lot of time on our hands and more money, both Toya and Sakura saw fit to throw me a party. Eventually they admitted that the party was more of a "thank you" for everything I had done and my birthday presented them with the perfect opportunity to throw it.

Even though I don't like anything remotely social, nor am I the sentimental type, I couldn't help but be touched that the two thought so much of me that they wanted to do this for me even though it was likely I'd be a grump from beginning to end. So for their sakes, I managed to muster up a pleasantness that I couldn't even muster up for the ending ceremonies of the Magic Games. Besides, it wasn't a big party. There was Clow and Yukito and a few people from school that I tolerated (meaning that I didn't glare at them every time I saw them). They tried to get Tomoyo to come, but she's swamped with all kind of requests since her styling debut in the Magic Games. Still just because I was pleasant didn't mean that all the social excitement wasn't taking its toll on me. So when I thought no one would miss me anymore, I quietly slipped out the house and went to the woods. I'm only there for a few minutes when I realize that someone noticed my disappearance. At first I assumed it was Sakura, but to my surprise it's Toya who followed me.

I'd be lying if I said things weren't awkward between us. While nothing had really changed, at the same time everything had changed, and Toya and I have to relearn how to be friends. It doesn't take long and after a while, I'm trying to hide my smile of amusement at Toya's dry sense of humor as he recalls all the things that happened while Sakura and I were participating in the Magic Games.

Upon noticing that I'm trying to hide my amusement, he smiles at me and says, "I missed you when you were gone you know."

I don't say anything in response, only nodding my head in acknowledgment.

"I don't know what I would have done if they hadn't let you both win," he adds.

I shrugged. "You would have lived."

"Would have been difficult."

"You'd have had Sakura."

"Sakura's not you."

At this point, my instincts alert me to the fact that Toya might mean this in a much different way than platonic friendship, but like always, like when I realized Sakura's feeling for me might be more than a ploy to win the Magic Games, I deny it. I continue to deny it even when I notice the gap between us has closed.

"Toya," I begin, but forget what I was about to say just as soon as his lips touch mine. I hardly remember what was going through my head, but I remember the sensations. Toya's lips are somehow soft, yet firm, and warm against mine. I'm not sure how long it lasted, but just as soon as I begin to comprehend what's happening, he pulls away from me.

I stare at him, not sure what to think or what to feel. Luckily, Toya didn't ask. He simply smiled at me and said, "I just had to do that once." Then he left.

There's been no awkwardness between us. In that sense, Toya is just like Sakura. Both are so afraid of unintentionally pressuring me into something that they're content to wait for me to sort out my own feelings, knowing that it might be forever. At the same time, both are doing exactly what they seem to be trying so hard not to do. It's not their fault. It can't really be helped.

Before the Magic Games, it wasn't practical to think about a long term relationship with anyone when there was no certainty that I wouldn't be reaped into the next Magic Games. Even without the threat of the Magic Games, Toya, Sakura, and I were always one misfortune away from starving to death. So when Clow asked me months ago if I had even had a crush on a girl before, I was being honest when I said I hadn't. But now that there's no danger of being reaped into the games and we have more than enough money to keep food on the table, I can think about what my future might be like, including who I'd like to spend it with.

With Sakura, our relationship would always be under someone's scrutiny, on display for the whole nation to see. We couldn't even have a disagreement without the Capitol catching wind of it and displaying it all over the television. We'd be forced to act like the perfect happy couple, to smile for the cameras, to please the crowd. I'd never know if anything was real or fake. With Toya, our relationship would belong to us alone. Our relationship could be private and would _have _to be private. We would never be able to show any public affection. In the districts, homosexual relationships are strictly forbidden for the simple reason that the Capitol doesn't want anything interfering with the reproduction of its labor force. They breed us like cattle and therefore homosexuality is punishable by death. Toya's and I's very life would depend on keeping our relationship hidden. No. Not our lives, but Toya's life. I'm a Victor. If the officials found out, they wouldn't kill me, but they'd kill Toya, probably make me watch, and force me to live with the guilt of his death. These scenarios are assuming I want a relationship at all.

By the time I arrived, Toya and Sakura's mother, Nadeshiko, was long dead. Though Fujitaka seemed to function well enough, I could see the lingering sadness in his eyes, the constant longing for her to be with him again. That kind of need and longing seems like more trouble than it's worth. There's always the fear that the person you love will be taken away from you, whether by the Capitol or through something natural that no one has any control over.

The doorbell rings and manages to snap me out my thoughts. No sooner than I've thrown something on, do I hear the commotion downstairs as everyone files into the house. I put my conflicting thoughts about my love life aside at that point. Right now, I've got a show to put on.

* * *

**AN: **So what do you think so far? It's a setup chapter, but it really does help set the tone for the rest of the story. Now about updating…

Honestly, I have no clue when I'll be updating this story. As of right now, I have exactly two chapters of it written. However since I'm done writing my novel (Tentatively. I was done two edits ago too) I'll be working on this a lot and will probably have five or six chapter done by next week. With the story not all the way written, I won't set a review quota yet, but I will say that review do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on.


	2. Chapter 2

**2**

As soon as I'm down the steps, my prep team bombards me, hardly giving me a hello before they're looking over me to see how much work they have to do on me.

"Look at your hands and nails," Mai says as she grabs my hand. "They're so rough and dirty."

"You did what we said to make your hair grow out really fast right? The regimen we talked about before you left?" Nana asks.

"Regimen," I say slowly. I honestly have no clue what she's talking about.

"Oh God! You didn't cut it!" Nana asks.

Before my prep team can suffer a mental breakdown and fret over the possibility that I didn't take care of my hair, I say, "Oh. I remember now. You were right. See?"

I turn to my side to allow them to get a good look and they sigh in relief, because my hair has indeed grown even if it's not from the regimen they gave me. Mai is about to say something else when a familiar soft voice laughs and says, "I'm sure Yue's as perfect as always. Besides. Worst come to worst, we'll use extensions."

Tomoyo pushes her way past my prep team with a cup of coffee in her hands.

"Peace offering?" she says as she holds the coffee out to me.

I take it from her and seeing that her peace offering has worked, Tomoyo pulls me into a hug. She didn't need the peace offering if that's all she wanted.

"My goodness, Sakura!" Demetrius says as he looks Sakura up and down. "You've grown so much!"

"I know Demetrius. Look at her," says one of the people from Sakura's prep team. "She's got breasts now!"

Sakura's entire face and neck turns red in mortification.

"We're going to have to take out all her clothes," another of her prep team says.

It's only been a few months, but having more than enough food to put on the table and being able to afford luxuries has caused Sakura to have a growth spurt. She's gotten taller and definitely gained weight in certain places; not that I noticed until her team pointed it out. Still, they're right. She's starting to look less like a little girl and more like that woman I've continued to dream about even though the games are over.

"Well we haven't got all day," Tomoyo says to save Sakura any further embarrassment.

I'm kicked out of what is technically Sakura's house and forced to go into my own, somewhere I haven't stepped foot in once since it was given to me. Tomoyo leaves me in the hands of my prep team while she gets my outfit ready. While two of my prep team works on my hands, the other works on my hair. As they do so, they begin to ramble about what a hit the last Magic Games were, how it's been so boring in the Capitol without the Games, and how everyone in the Capitol is so excited to see us again at the end of the tour.

Then they start talking about how excited they are for the Quarter Quell and how lucky I am to be a mentor in one the very first year of being a victor. It takes everything in me not to tell them how incredibly stupid and shallow they are, how in the districts, the Quarter Quell is nothing to be excited about. Since Mai is working on my hand still, I can't ball my right hand like I want to, so I settle for pressingly my lips tightly together. Doing so means I can't reply to their comment, but my prep team is used to my silent nature at this point.

In a normal year, two tributes from every district are chosen in a completely random lottery. If that weren't bad enough, this year will be the Seventy-fifth Magic Games, which means it's a Quarter Quell. They happen every twenty-five years and are celebrated with a unique twist to the games. In the last quell, the Capitol demanded twice the tributes, and District Twelve's Clow Reed won the games. It's a good thing Sakura and I will be able to mentor. Clow will probably be more of a hermit during this year's games then he usually is, especially if this year's tributes have no affinity for magic like Sakura and I.

Thankfully, the three quickly exhaust talking about the Quarter Quell. Not long after, they finish my hair and hands and send me down to Tomoyo. She smiles when she sees me and I send her one of my rare genuine smiles in return.

To my surprise, I can actually say that Tomoyo's probably the first friend I've ever made on my own. Of course, it didn't start out that way. I might have enjoyed her company compared to my prep team and I might have called her a close acquaintance before, but now I truly see her as a friend. It started with our new phone. After Sakura learned how to use it, Tomoyo would call to check on her every now and then. One day though, I happened to pick up the phone when Sakura ran over to Clow's house for a quick errand. Since she was coming right back—or so I thought—I stayed on the line with Tomoyo. I should have known better than to think Sakura could ever make a quick run to Clow's house, but because I didn't foresee that she'd be gone so long, I ended up staying on the phone with Tomoyo much longer than I intended. However, I enjoy talking to her. She, unlike most people, isn't always on the lookout for a way knock me down a few pegs or make me lose my cool persona. As a result, I find it's easy to tell her things without feeling embarrassed, even if I think it's ridiculous. That's not to say that Tomoyo doesn't tease. She does, but somehow I can find myself amused when she teases me, not annoyed like the way I was when Kero teased me. Tomoyo, I find out, is very easy to talk to.

Since then though, Tomoyo would call the house to check on Sakura and then Sakura would pass the phone to me. Somehow, I think if we had met under any other circumstance, we may not have gotten along as well as we do.

"Outfit's over there," Tomoyo says as she watches a team bring a piano into the house.

All the Victors are supposed to take up a talent after winning the games since they have nothing better to do. I tossed multiple ideas around with Tomoyo, Sakura, and Toya before sucking up and asking Yukito to teach me to play the piano. Yukito says that my long, slender fingers make me a natural, but I don't really care. It's just one more thing I have to do to please the Capitol.

Once I'm dressed in warm white pants, a white shirt, and purple woven sweater with boots, I sit at the assembled piano to play just enough to satisfy the Capitol audience who will be watching. Then Sonomi sweeps into the room and tells us it's time for me to take my place in front of the door. Sonomi greets me excitedly though she refrains from her customary kisses.

Tomoyo rushes over to put a fur coat on me and then slaps a scarf around my neck. Tomoyo then frowns as she looks at me.

"Yue, where's—"

Sonomi interrupts whatever Tomoyo was about to say and says, "We're about to do the first outdoor shot where our Victors greet each other for their fabulous trip. Yue, look pleasant for the cameras. You are very excited right?"

With that, the door opens and Sonomi quite literally shoves me out the door. My first instinct is to turn back to glare at her but then I remember I'm on camera and instead begin to walk down the steps. It's a good thing I don't have to concentrate on smiling right now, because it's taking all my concentration not to roll my eyes at how contrived all this is. I'm supposed to be excited about seeing someone I just saw not even two hours ago.

I catch sight of Sakura coming out the house through the thick snow. Since she's better at this than I am, Sakura's eyes light up in what might be genuine excitement before she makes a run for me without any thought of the icy patches on the ground. Predictably, she slips on the ice halfway to me, and I'm just in time to catch her. I sigh at her antics and somehow Sakura manages a faint blush. Before we can continue on though she says, "You forgot this."

Before I can ask what she's talking about, she stands on her tiptoes and pulls on my scarf so that my face is closer to her. Then she holds out a family purple and white earring, my district token, and puts in on my ear.

"There," she says.

Once that's done, Sakura and I start on our way to the cars. We've barely taken two more steps before Sakura slips on the ice again and rather than do this all the way to the car, I lift her onto my back and carry her the rest of the way to the car waiting for us, just like I use to carry her to school during the winters, just like I'm sure the Capitol remembers Sakura reminding me on that mountain in the Games.

Once we're at the station, Toya is there waiting for us. He hugs Sakura and tells her not to give me too much trouble. Sakura's reply is a shy but impish smile and I'm not sure if that's for the cameras or she's serious. Then Toya turns to me and says, "Take care."

"Don't worry. She'll be fine."

"I know," Toya says as he pulls me into a hug and then says too low for the cameras to pick up, "I mean take care of yourself."

I hope I don't look as flustered as I feel. More than likely, the Capitol will make nothing of it, but it's better safe than sorry.

The rest of the day is a blur to me. Sakura, Clow, Sonomi, the stylists and I have dinner, and then Sakura and I are shooed off to bed. Like always, I'm awake well into the night. When we stop for fuel, I'm just beginning to doze off. Then I hear something, voices just outside my door. Who would be up at this time of night besides me?

I get up and open my door to find no one in the hall. Thinking I might just be paranoid, I turn to go back into my room only to hear a thumping sound and someone muttering under their breath. I turn back around and peer down the hall.

"Tomoyo?" I ask.

She whips around to face me, looking a little flustered, something very uncharacteristic of her.

"Oh. Sorry. Did I wake you?" she asks.

"No," I say as I look her up and down before asking, "Who were you talking to?"

"No one. Why?"

I get the feeling that Tomoyo might be lying, but what reason would she have to lie to me.

"Thought I heard voices," I say. "What are you doing out here?"

"Just woke up feeling a little thirsty is all."

"Isn't there water in your room?"

"It's a little warm. I wanted something cool."

I look at her and then sigh. "I can save you a trip."

As I start to walk towards her room she says, "Are you sure?"

For some reason, it looks like her eyes keep darting behind me, though I have no clue why. I glance behind me and then back at Tomoyo, trying to shake the feeling that she's trying to distract me. From what? I have no clue.

"I'm sure," I say as I follow her into her room. I spot the water on the stand on the other side of the room. Within seconds of me looking at it, the water shows the tell-tale signs of being cooled. Sakura isn't the only one who's been practicing her magic in her free time.

"Thank you," Tomoyo says crossing the room to pour herself some water.

"No problem," I say and begin to leave the room.

"Wait!"

I turn back at the urgency in the girl's voice. She stares at me with her mouth open for a while before shaking her and blinking and saying, "You don't have to rush back to your room."

I tilt my head in confusion.

"We haven't talked in a while Yue and today you seemed a little… pensive."

"I'm always pensive. Toya and Sakura say I overthink things too much all the time," I reply dryly.

Tomoyo says, "That's true, but that's not what I mean. You seemed like something was bothering you earlier today, when we first arrived."

I start to tell her that she's mistaken until I remember what I had been thinking about right before they came, the moment that happened between me and Toya. Tomoyo, taking my hesitancy to mean that something is bothering me, sits on her bed and pats the spot next to her.

"It's nothing," I say avoiding her eyes. "It's late. We should get to bed."

"We have nothing important to do tomorrow so we can both sleep as late as we want to. Come on," she says softly. "Tell me what's been going on, the things you couldn't say over the phone."

Her gentle insistence is all the prompting I need. Suddenly I'm telling her everything. About Toya. Our kiss. About how I feel torn between the two Kinomoto siblings. About how I'm not sure what feelings are real since I've spent so much time putting on an act for the cameras.

Tomoyo doesn't say a word as I reveal these things to her, nor does she seem shocked or surprised at anything I reveal. She simply nods and sips on her water every now and then. It's only when she's sure I'm done that she speaks.

"Yue," she begins. "What do you like to do?"

The question takes me by surprise. I have no idea what her question has to do with anything, but this is Tomoyo, and I've learned that her exuberance and eccentricity extends outside her passion for designing clothes.

She looks at me and repeats, "What do you like to do? Really? And when I say that, I mean the one thing that you do for yourself, not because you have to or because it's important."

My mind is a blank. When you were one misfortune away from starvation and dying, everything you did tended to center around survival. At some point, when I was younger and before Fujitaka died, it might have been archery. But after he died, it became a necessary means of living. And even if it hadn't, the Magic Games ruined any sanctity that archery might have had for me now that I've had to kill other people doing it. Other than archery, I can't think of a single thing that I like to do for the sake of doing it. The thought terrifies me, even though I came to this realization during the Magic Games. But there was no time to focus on that crisis when we could be killed at any moment. Without my archery and without having to protect Sakura, I'm nothing. I'm no one.

Tomoyo seems to pick this up without me saying and continues, "Yue, I think that you've been so focused on keeping the people you care about safe, that you haven't had time to learn anything about yourself."

I can agree with her on that. It seemed like everyone knew things about me that I had no clue about myself during the Magic Games.

"I think," Tomoyo continues, "If you can figure out what you really want out of life, figure out what makes you happy, then your other issues will work themselves out."

Tomoyo's advice seems so simple and cliché. Essentially, she's saying I need to get to know myself first, which seems like something off one of those stupid talk shows they air from the Capitol sometimes. Then I remember, Tomoyo is from the Capitol. In some strange way though, it makes sense. If I can figure out what I want or need out of life, I can pick the person best suited towards complimenting that. In a way it seems selfish and though I'm many things including harsh and sarcastic with the charm of a rattlesnake (Sakura's words), selfish isn't something I've had the chance to be and it's the one thing I've never been accused of either.

"You're overthinking it, Yue," Tomoyo says. "For once, just try to let things happen. Don't try to be so controlling."

That's going to take a lot of effort. I hate when situations are out of my control. They make me feel manipulated. The reason Sakura and I are in so much trouble with the Capitol right now is because I took control and played the Magic Games by my own rules, which culminated in a final act of defiance by Sakura that allowed us both to win. And even as Tomoyo says it, something tells me that the Capitol is going to throw many more things at me that will try any effort I put into releasing my need for control.

* * *

**AN:** I know it's been a while, a lot longer than I thought it would be, but to be honest I wasn't feeling inspired to write this. So I wrote yet another book and then came back to this story and now I'm back to writing it again. I figure I'll be more than halfway through writing it by the time New Years comes. Anyway, nothing to say about this chapter but rest assured things get a lot more interesting in the next one.

I won't set a review quota (yet), but I will say that reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


	3. Chapter 3

**3**

Tomoyo changes the subject and begins to ramble on the things she's been up to in the Capitol and unlike when my prep team does this, I can actually tolerate listening to her. She talks about all the outfits she has for me to wear on the tour and admits that she's been offered any district she wants in the next Magic Games ("Don't worry though. I'm sticking with District Twelve"). Finally, we're both exhausted and I return to my room. As promised, I'm not awakened until close to noon, when Sonomi comes banging on the door demanding that I prepare to join everyone for lunch.

While it appears Clow, Sakura and her prep team have been up for hours, Tomoyo and my prep team arrive at the dining cart at the same time I do. I sit across from Sakura after grabbing my coffee and wait to be served lunch while absently nodding to Clow when he greets me. Clow is long used to my distance around him, but my absent greeting has nothing to do with my dislike of Clow this morning or just being a general grump. Instead, my mind is preoccupied with my talk with Tomoyo last night. What she suggested will be even more of a task than I originally imagined. I spend so much time acting and pretending nowadays that even if the real me manages to shine through, I can never really be sure it's me; that I'm not somehow being unconsciously manipulated by the cameras and the people watching into thinking that an act is real. Heck, I'm still trying to figure out what was real and what wasn't about the Magic Games.

Around me, everyone's excited about the tour and visiting the other districts. While everyone is content to leave me out the conversation, I notice that Tomoyo seems to be making a concerted effort to make Sakura a part of it. I narrow my eyes. Usually Sakura's happy to be social and share in everyone else's excitement but this morning she seems distant, absently nodding to Tomoyo with her arms crossed and barely moving.

I look at her, trying to catch her gaze but for some reason she's pointedly avoiding looking at me.

Maybe she's just feeling overwhelmed. A lot has happened in the last few months and maybe she hasn't had enough time to process it. But instinct tells me that's not it. Instinct tells me there's something else wrong, and Sakura doesn't want me to know what it is.

As I contemplate what might be going on with her, the train stops and our server tells us that a part on the train has malfunctioned. We'll be delayed at least an hour to Sonomi's dismay. She takes out our schedule and begins to work out how this one hour will affect the rest of our trip. Rather than be annoyed by Sonomi's dramatics, I'm actually a little amused and hide a smile behind sipping on my coffee. Finally, something a little entertaining. But someone else in the cart finds it annoying and for maybe half a second I feel a brilliant flare of magic as a voice snaps, "No one cares, Sonomi!"

The entire dining cart falls into shocked silence at not just what was said, but who says it. Even I can't help staring in stunned shock at Sakura, which says something because usually I'm the one snapping at and being rude to Sonomi. Sakura, seeming to realizing her rudeness, flushes in embarrassment but the anger and annoyance is still present.

"Well no one does," Sakura snaps before standing to her feet and storming out the dining cart. She slams the door behind her and a few moments later the sound of another door opening and closing, the exit, follows.

While everyone is still shocked, I get up to follow Sakura. How could I have been so inattentive of her that I didn't see this tantrum coming? Sure, I've noticed that Sakura has seemed a little off lately, but nothing too out of the ordinary. Then again, what's been ordinary at all since the Magic Games ended? That or either Sakura's a much better actor than I thought she was.

By the time I catch up with Sakura, she's made it a couple of hundred yards and is sitting on the ground, staring into the distance. I stand behind her and do the same, pretty certain that she knows I'm behind her. If I had my bow and arrows, I wonder if I'd keep walking and drag her along with me, make our way back to District Twelve, get Toya and find a way to get away from here. I shake my head. There's no use being wistful.

"What do you want, Yue?" Sakura snaps.

"You're in a terrible mood," I say bluntly.

"Coming from the person that's always in a habitual bad mood," Sakura replies dryly, a hint of teasing in her tone.

I can't dispute that so I say, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Sakura says.

The last time she said that, it wasn't "nothing," and it had everything to do with the true nature of our relationship, what was real about it and what wasn't but I doubt that's bothering her now. She seems to have come to terms with that, content to wait for me to figure out my own feelings. But who knows how long that will take, especially since I'm starting to realize that I've been so preoccupied with my own problems that I haven't been as attentive to Sakura as I should be. Just because I'm conflicted about my feelings about her doesn't mean I have to ignore her. If anything, that would make things worse.

Rather than pushing her into talking though, I say, "Look."

"What?" Sakura asks without moving.

"If you want to see, you're going to have to get up and see for yourself," I say.

Sakura sighs and stands to her feet before turning to face me. She's trying to hide it, but she's obviously curious.

Though I haven't been spending every waking hour with Clow and though I'm nowhere near as proficient with magic as I imagine Sakura might be, it doesn't mean that I haven't practiced now that I have the freedom to. I hold out my hand and concentrate, using the same magic that Ruby showed me how to use in order to create the crystalline daggers that was her signature magic move. A ball of blue energy appears over my hand and begins to take shape. Usually, this takes longer, but since I have a clear image in my mind of what I want this to be, it only takes a few seconds.

When I'm done, a small silvery blue crystalline charm is in my hand, shaped to form the crest Sakura, Kero, and I made in the Magic Game: two circles inside of each other with a twelve point star made of four squares on top, a ten point star in the innermost circle and inside the twelve point star, random symbols in the space between the two circles, completed with an elaborate sun on the right and a crescent moon on the left.

Sakura gasps.

"It's beautiful," she says, her eyes alight with joy. "Where'd you learn to do that?"

"You're not the only strong magician in district twelve," I say simply and then add, "I got the idea from Ruby."

Sakura says nothing about the fact that Ruby and I were rivals during the Magic Games and instead asks, "Why didn't you make this your talent?"

Because even though victors are allowed to use magic, it's not wise to flaunt to the Capitol just how magically innovative I am. They're already threatened enough by Sakura and I as it is. But telling Sakura that will do the exact opposite of the reason I did this, so instead I shrug.

"Can I have it?"

I wordlessly nod. I made it with the sole purpose of cheering her up anyway. Then I add, "As long as you're discrete about where you got it from. The last thing I want is the Capitol finding out and forcing me to make a bunch to sell to the highest bidder."

Sakura agrees as she cradles the charm in her hand like it's the most valuable item in the world. Then she says, "It'll be our secret then. Just for us."

Something about that declaration sets me at ease, gives me a peace that I haven't felt since before being reaped into the Magic Games. It's been such a long time since I had something that was just for me. Archery was taken. The woods were taken. Magic. Potentially my life. But this… even though I have to share it with Sakura, it feels nice, almost exciting, to have something that we don't have to share with an audience. Something that's not for anyone else's pleasure but our own. Something private.

I like that, and by the way Sakura looks me in the eye and smiles tentatively, she likes the idea too. Though that could be for reasons entirely different and more complicated reasons than I'm willing to deal with at the moment. Right now, I almost feel like I felt before the Magic Games.

Without saying anything else, we head back to the train, where Sakura apologizes to Sonomi for being mean earlier. Sonomi is quick to forgive her, saying that clearly Sakura is under a lot of stress. I'm not surprised Sonomi is so quick to dismiss Sakura's behavior, especially when she has to put up with my attitude all the time, an attitude I never apologize for.

After Sakura apologizes, she promptly goes up to Demetrius and whispers something in his ear. She then shows him the charm I gave her causing Demetrius to nod promptly before standing up and leading Sakura out the dining cart.

I go to the last car of the train, an elaborate designed sitting room with large windows that retract into the ceiling. The landscape is different from home, which is filled with woods and rocky landscapes. Instead, the closer we get to District Eleven, the more large open fields I see occupied with grazing dairy cattle.

Sakura eventually accompanies me in the car and the chain on her arm with her new pendant doesn't escape my notice though I say nothing about it. Soon, Sonomi comes to get us both to get dressed. After we're dressed, Sonomi goes through a rundown of what the day's events will entail. We'll be paraded through the city while the residents cheer for us. Then we'll be taken to the public square, just outside the justice building, a huge marble structure. Time has certainly taken its toll on the building. Even on television you can see ivy overtaking the building, the sag of the roof, the square ringed with run-down abandoned storefronts. Wherever the well-to-do live in District Eleven, it's not there.

Our entire public performance will be staged outside on what Sonomi refers to as the veranda, the tiled expanse between the front doors and the stairs that's shaded by a roof supported by columns. Sakura and I will be introduced, the mayor will read a speech in our honor, and we'll respond with scripted thank-you speeches provided by the Capitol. If a victor had any special allies among the dead tributes, it is considered good form to add a few personal comments as well. I'll have no problems with that here. My allies weren't from District Eleven. I didn't even know the District Eleven tributes. It's at this point that whatever agreeable mood I've been in begins to dissipate.

By the time the train stops at the train station in District Eleven, the odd role reversal Sakura and I had at the beginning of the trip is once again back to normal. She goes from sullen and bothered to her normally cheery self, and I go from in generally agreeable mood to agitated and restless. In the span of the thirty seconds it takes us to walk off the train and onto the platform where people are cheering at our arrival, I'm trying to hide my simmering anger at this charade behind a mask of indifference and aloofness, only aware enough of everything around me to make sure Sakura's alright. I hate all this pretending.

I'm so focused on trying to hide my anger that I forget that I'm supposed to be pretending like there's a budding romance going on between Sakura and I, but Sakura seems to remember very well. She grabs my hand on her own and hits me playfully on the arm to get my attention and says, "Stop being so mean to everyone and wave. They're just as happy to see you as they are to see me."

I doubt it, but I have to keep appearances and so I wave at the cameras and try to smile, but I'm pretty sure I look anything but welcoming. Luckily, Tomoyo has made it a point to make hats to go with all my outfits so I can hide my eyes when I'm feeling impersonable.

Clow ushers us off the platform and outside toward the car. Unlike the other cars Sakura and I have been in, this one has no roof. I'm guessing it's so people can see us as we're paraded around town. From that point, I simply go through the motions as we finally get to the justice building, walk onto the stage and greet the crowd as they whoop and cheer for us. Two girls come up with large bouquets of flowers and Sakura and I go through our scripted replies.

Then, because neither of us knew the District Eleven tributes, never met them, were never allies, we don't have to say anything in remembrance of them and skip to where we're both presented with large plaques. Then the mayor says some parting words and the ceremony is over. Later on, we go to a dinner, much like the ones we went to in the Capitol after we won the games, but much less grandeur. Then, we're back on the train and headed to the next district.

To be honest, it was much easier than I thought it would be, than I'd made myself into thinking it would be these last few months I spent dreading it. The next few districts are much like eleven. We're paraded through town, we're gifted with plaques and flowers at a ceremony and then have dinner where I try my best to be somewhat social, where I get tired of trying and just stand there and let Sakura be charming enough for the both of us, where I never stray too far from Sakura, never take my eyes off her for long, ever aware of her distinct presence. At least I'm getting something right, I guess. No doubt the Capitol is blowing this out of proportion, taking my protectiveness of her to prove how enamored by her I am because I can hardly take my eyes off her or some other nonsense.

District Eight is harder. Chiharu was our ally. Chiharu could have let me die, but she didn't and in return, I let her die. I may as well have killed her. It's the one time I played by the Capitol's rules. I betrayed her. But somehow I manage to press through it. Since Chiharu was our ally, one of us has to say something about her. Because I'm no good with words and would probably offend someone if I tried, Sakura decides to say a few personal comments that somewhat work for both of us while I hide behind my bangs and the rim of my hat, emotional coward that I am.

District Seven is even harder than Eight, for both Sakura and I this time though she again volunteers to speak for both of us at the ceremony. As soon as we step off the platform though, I'm distinctly aware that there's something… wrong might be the word, but I can't pinpoint what. Like the other districts, people are at the train platform to cheer for us but it seems much more forced.

As we're led to the car, the crowds outside the train station are the same. Maybe it's just me though. Maybe it's because I'm in such a solemn mood that everything seems off to me. I look at Sakura and wonder if it's the same for her. She's a good actor, but she can't hide it from me. Being in District Seven, in Cerberus', Kero's, home is affecting her and her smile falters every so often, her breath catches every few breaths and then she pulls herself together to smile for the crowd, this crowds lined and blocked by armed peace keepers, many more than were in the other districts. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but something is going on. As I scan the peacekeepers that create a border through the heavily wooded district, and as we drive through town, I'm distracted when I catch sight of a girl who can't be more than eight with reddish brown hair pulled into two ponytails at the side of her head.

Instantly, I'm reminded of Chiharu, though we're no longer in her district and there's a pang of shame in my chest that I didn't have the courage to face her district and say something, anything to let them know that I appreciate what she did for me when she could have let me die.

I have an internal debate with myself as I watch the girl, trying to decide what to do. The peacekeeper who shoves her away as she tries to peek around his bulking frame makes the decision for me.

"Stop the car," I say, not really giving the driver a choice because I've already opened the door to get out.

"Yue!" Sonomi says scandalized. "What are you doing?"

I ignore her, and I ignore Clow and Sakura as they hesitantly call my name. Instead I make my way over to where the peacekeeper kicks the girl away from him once and is about to kick her again.

"Stop," I say, quietly but firmly.

The peacekeeper turns to me and though I can't see his face under his helmet, I imagine he's surprised.

He stutters and then gets ahold of himself as he starts explaining something about protocol and the girl risking causing a riot.

"She's not causing a riot," I say. I've only stood up to a peacekeeper once in my life and the situation was similar to this, where a peacekeeper knocked Sakura to the ground when she was around this age. The difference is that the peacekeepers back home are much nicer than I sense this one is.

So this doesn't look like I'm trying to incite a rebellion or anything, I say, "She just wants to get a look at the newest Magic Games victor."

Then I look around the man and to the girl on the ground and ask, "Right?"

The girl looks at me with wide brown eyes. I don't know if she was trying to get a good look at us or not but she nods in agreement anyway.

"Come here," I say.

The girl stands and starts to do so, but then looks at the peacekeeper who kicked her and is blocking her path.

I look at him and say tightly, "Excuse me."

The peacekeeper takes one step to the side, but it's enough room to let the girl through.

The girl is much smaller than me, so I have to kneel down to be eye level with her. I start to say something before pausing. Then, I take off my hat. I won't be hiding behind it today. Not for District Eight.

"What's your name?" I ask.

"Asli."

"That's a very nice name," I say and though I'm not smiling a grin alights the girl's face. Then I say, "Have you ever rode in a car before."

I know she hasn't, but the question has the intended effect. Asli gasps looks over my shoulder at the car and shakes her head. I stand at this point and offer my hand to her. She takes it and I lead her into the car, sitting her on my lap since there's no room anywhere else.

Everyone stares at me in frozen shock, especially Sakura, who is unable to even wave as she watches Asli and I with a mixture of something else. Feeling less like I need to pretend and more comfortable even though I still sense something is off here, I smirk at her and say, "Don't tell me you're jealous, Sakura."

Sakura flushes and bats her eyes before saying, "I get to ride on your lap on the way back."

I wish she hadn't said that, because now that she has the Capitol is going to expect her to make good on that. But I don't think about it as we take the reaming short distance to the justice building. Though I really didn't like the peace keeper bullying her, I do have my own selfish reasons for bringing Asli with us. I want District Eight to see this. I want them to be reminded of Chiharu just like I was. I want them to know that I'm sorry for killing her. That I was too much of a coward to face them.

No one says anything or stops me as I lead Asli in with us. If the cameras didn't get her driving in the car, they no doubt see when I bring the girl on stage with us, grasping her hand in the hand that isn't holding Sakura's. For good measure, when we're presented with yet another large bouquet of flowers, I break off two blossoms and stick one in either of Asli's ponytail. I want to give her the entire bouquet because I've been presented with enough flowers over the last few days, but the bouquet is bigger than her.

Then the time comes for Sakura to say a few words on both our behalves for Kero. But she's not going to be able to. The smile Sakura's been able to maintain thus far falters permanently, she starts to blink rapidly and then makes it through all of one sentence before a choked sob escapes her.

Looks like this is going to come down to me. I hand the bouquet back to one of the girls who brought them out. Then I go to the mic and try to push Sakura behind me. She doesn't cooperate and instead leans into me, forcing me to wrap an arm around her.

I wish she wouldn't make this harder for me. I already didn't want to do this. But I have to. I have to, because as I look over to Kero's family. His mother. His sister who I didn't know about, who I wonder if reminded him of Sakura. I know I have to do this. They would never forgive me if we didn't. If I didn't support our actions in the arena; the flowers and drawing the crest on his ax, especially since it was my idea.

"We want to give our thanks to the tributes of District Seven," I say. I look over at the girl's family, whose name I vaguely recall being Mame from Sonomi's couching of us. "I never met Mame. Didn't even know her name until today. But Sakura met her. And while I was dying in a cave, she thought enough of Kero to spare Sakura's life just once. And Kero…"

I trail off. Damn it. I can't do this. I don't want to do this. But I have to. I can go sulk about it later.

I turn to Kero's family. "I did know Kero, even though I didn't want to at first. He got on my nerve, like a brother. And I don't know what he saw in Sakura, but if he were alive, I'd never be able to repay him for helping me to protect someone who meant so much to me even when I couldn't. And he'll be with me forever because of that. Every time I see her, I remember that he helped me save her," I say quietly and feeling as though I've said enough, I finish, "Thank you District Seven. Thank you for your children."

There's a long pause as the crowd stares at me, stares at Sakura, who has stopped crying but still has her face buried in my chest, away from the crowd. Then I sense it, a flair of magic. From the back of the crowd, magic shoots up into the air, catches fire and then takes the shape of a crest; not Sakura's crest, but the seal of the moon guardian; a star tucked in a crescent moon. It sits in the sky, amongst the clouds, shining brightly upon us like a beacon.

Sakura finally pulls away from me and stares at the beacon with wide eyes, arms stiffly at her side. Before I can wonder what's wrong, I sense the shift in the atmosphere. I sense something dangerous has been unleashed, something so dangerous that someone openly broke the law and used magic.

The mayor takes over and closes the ceremonies with one more round of applause before we're quickly escorted off stage.

But I turn around, looking for the little girl that reminds me so much of Chiharu, only to find that she's nowhere to be found. But I do find something else. The peacekeepers have dragged an old man onto the stage, the old man I'm assuming created the crest that still beacons in the sky. He's forced to his knees. The peacekeeper raises his gun and puts a bullet through the man's head.

* * *

**AN:** That was a much quicker update, wasn't it. Lol. I've written a lot of this story this week alone. I can't wait for you all to read it. I can't wait to finish writing it.

I won't set a review quota (yet), but I will say that reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


	4. Chapter 4

**4**

Before I can see anything else, a wall of peacekeepers block my view and seeing that I'm ready to shove them over to see what's going on, Sakura grabs my hands hand begins to pull me away, back into the Justice Building. Once we're inside, the doors are promptly closed shut.

Clow, Sonomi, Tomoyo, and Demetrius wait under a static filled screen with tight anxiety ridden faces.

"What happened?" Sonomi asks as she rushes over. "The feed cut off right after Yue's speech. Clow said he heard gunfire."

I open my mouth to say something but am distracted by the unmistakable sound of three more gunshots.

Sakura is opening and closing her mouth, shaking her head as if in denial or as if she's done something wrong. Either way, I'm pretty certain there's something Sakura's not telling me and by the way she keeps looking at Clow, he's in on the secret.

"Come with me," Clow says promptly, before I can demand what's going on and what happened out there.

Sakura and I follow him, leaving the others behind. The Peacekeepers who are stationed around the Justice Building take little interest in our movements now that we are safely inside. We ascend a curved marble staircase and at the top, there's a long hall with worn carpet on the floor. Open double doors welcome us into the first room we encounter. The ceiling must be twenty feet high. Designs of fruit and flowers are carved into the molding and small, fat children with wings look down at us from every angle. Vases of blossoms give off a cloying scent that makes my eyes itch. Our evening clothes hang on racks against the wall. This room has been prepared for our use, but we're barely there long enough to drop off our gifts. Then Clow takes the microphones from our chests, stuffs them beneath a couch cushion, and waves us on.

He leads us up through a maze of twisting staircases and increasingly narrow halls. At times he has to stop and force a door. By the protesting squeak of the hinges you can tell it's been a long time since it was opened. Eventually we climb a ladder to a trapdoor. When Clow pushes it aside, we find ourselves in the dome of the Justice Building. It's a large space filled with broken furniture, piles of books and ledgers, and rusty weapons. The coat of dust blanketing everything is so thick it's clear it hasn't been disturbed for years. Clow closes the trapdoor shut and turns on us.

"What happened?" he asks.

I honestly don't know, but explain everything from the point where I gave my speech, to the beacon in the air, the beacon that I can still see outside ever though it's difficult to see through the caked up grimy windows, to us being ushered off stage, Asli disappearing, and the old man being dragged on stage and shot.

"I didn't know," Sakura suddenly says. "I didn't think this would happen. Everything was going so well until today."

"What do you mean everything was going well?" I ask then I turn to Clow.

"He'll take it better from you," Clow says as he puts what I guess to be a silencing spell on the room. That's a bad sign.

"Before we left," Sakura manages to croak. "Before we left President Wang came to see me."

"President who?" I ask tersely, but I already know what she said. There's only one president. And I bet I know when he came to see her too. Right before the start of the tour, where I sensed something was wrong, but Sakura distracted me with that card.

"President Wang came to see me. And he asked me if I always knew about your level of indifference towards me. He knows. He knows everything. He knows our romance is an act," Sakura admits.

I press my lips tightly together in effort not to say anything, because I know this is about to get much worse.

"He told me the districts don't believe our act. They think we're being defiant. There have been riots in some of the districts. So he told me we have to convince them that this is real to quell them so they don't cause uprisings. And I thought it was working until today. I didn't think anything of it when you took that girl and brought her on stage with us. But then you made that speech and there was the crest and… And you caused everything he told me not to let you cause to happen," Sakura says, but there's no accusation in her tone.

"You?" I ask. "Why you?"

"He told me you're a natural rebel; that you do what you want regardless of what people think. And by yourself, without something to channel that rebellion, you're not a threat. But I gave you a cause to fight for and someone to fight against. And that was okay at first, until I tried to kill myself at the end of the Games and you got out too. So he told me to pretend everything was okay and that the Capitol wasn't a threat to me so you wouldn't be so defiant anymore. Otherwise, the districts would be inspired by your defiance against the Capitol and rise to fight against it, because if one person is daring enough to rise against the Capitol to protect what they care about, what's stopping an entire nation from doing the same thing."

Which is why Wang didn't come threaten me. I probably would have just threatened him back like I threatened Ruby. Then again, maybe he should have because if there's anything that makes me get besides myself, it's when someone threatens Sakura. Ruby learned that too.

I'm angry now. At the President. At the Capitol. At the whole nation. But more than anything, I'm angry at Sakura. How could she keep this from me? How could she think I would never find out?

"Are you insane?" I snap at her moving to close the distance between us so quickly that I startle her and she jumps back, knocking over some old furniture.

"I'm sorry."

"You're always sorry!" I shout. "Did you even think that it might be better to tell me so I could at least try better at acting the part?"

"But you wouldn't have."

"How do you know?"

"Because you can't help yourself. You… I thought maybe I could pull it off for both of us."

I groan. "That's stupid. What is it really? Why didn't you tell me? If you had… I wouldn't have gotten that girl, I would have left her on the street. I…" I trail off upon realizing what I've done. I protected that girl from the peacekeeper. And now, to show Magea that I'm as helpless as them, that I can protect no one, she's going to be killed. That's if she's not already dead. Rather than letting grief overcome me, I channel it into more anger and snap at Sakura, "Damn it! Damn it Sakura."

I ball my fist, barely able to control myself. I could use a bow and some arrows and some woods right now, but that's not going to happen. Instead I turn away from her.

"I'm—"

"Don't say it," I snap. "Just… don't."

No one says anything for a long time and then finally Sakura says, "I didn't want it like this."

"Didn't want what like this?"

"Us."

She's not specific about what she means by us, but I already know. It's something I've done my best not to think about. But Sakura and I, if we want to live, if we want the people we care for to live, we'll have to play this charade for the rest of our lives. Every Magic Games we'll be paraded in front of the cameras and never be able to live anything but happily ever after with each other. It's an unrealistic expectation, even in the districts where marriages happen young, usually as soon as you are out the reaping, most people don't stay with their first love. Sure it happens sometimes, but not all the time. Still, Sakura and I won't be given the choice.

And that's what this all boils down to for Sakura. She wants me to choose us because that's what I want, not because that's what I have to do. And though I imagine we could be happy together if we let ourselves, we'd always wonder if what we had was real.

Then something else occurs to me, something that fills me with dread.

"You said… You said Wang knows everything," I say. "What do you mean everything?"

"He knows about the kiss," Sakura confirms.

"He told you," I say.

"I already knew," Sakura admits. "I followed you that day."

I don't even know how to react to that revelation, except that maybe some of Sakura's solemnness these last few months, and definitely these last few days makes sense now. Instead, I turn back around to face Sakura and Clow, who I had forgotten was standing there.

"From now on," I begin, "Tell me everything."

That said, I leave the room, too angry with both Sakura and Clow to say anything else. Still, I wonder when things got like this. Everything happening is all so improbable, the idea that Sakura's and my actions in the arena could have sparked all this, that one innocent speech could have caused such a rebellious action in District Eight. Except maybe everything hadn't been so innocent. The speech, yes. Sakura's attempted suicide at the end of the games, yes. My need to protect at all costs, yes. But the memorial for Kero in the games, me silently threatening President Wang at the ending ceremonies, my general indifference towards the Capitol? None of that had been innocent. All of that had been a willful need to show whoever was in charge that I don't follow anyone's rules except my own. And while I hadn't been trying to inspire rebellion in the hearts of the rest of Magea, the simple fact of the matter is that as long as I keep trying to play by my own rules, I will.

Now that I've mulled all that over in my head, I can't blame Clow and Sakura for not wanting to tell me about President Wang's visit. It was safer that I didn't know.

The question now is what should I do now that I know? The answer is simple. There's only one thing to do now, with lives besides Sakura's and mine at stake. I have to do what President Wang wants. I have to get over my own reservations and convince the Districts that this romance is real and avoid doing anything that may seem even remotely rebellious. Easier said than done. It's like Sakura said, I can't help myself.

Usually, all the prep required to get ready for the dinners annoys me, but I'm so lost in my own thoughts that I don't notice, even as my prep teams gushes in total obliviousness and excitement about the upcoming dinner. When I'm dressed and Tomoyo has put on the finishing touches, we head down to assemble our entrance for dinner.

"Don't look so brooding, Yue," Tomoyo says to me.

That's right. I have to look as though nothing is wrong with the world.

Sonomi arranges us in line while complaining about the peacekeepers telling her that she had to stay in her quarters rather than taking a look around at some architecture or another. Sakura tries to comfort her while I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Can the woman be any more clueless?

Sonomi arranges us in formation for our entrance. First the prep teams, then her, the stylists, Clow with Sakura and I bringing up the rear. Then music begins to play. As our procession begins to go down the steps, I grab onto Sakura's hand which causes her to jump in startlement. Usually she's the one to initiate handholding.

"Sorry," I say. "For getting angry at you. Not like I haven't kept things from you before."

"It's okay," Sakura says and then adds, "There's no point in keeping things from each other anymore, is there?"

"I suppose not."

As we wait to make our way down the stairs, Sakura suddenly asks, "Was that the only time you kissed Toya?"

I want to correct her by telling her that Toya kissed me and the kiss was over before I could do anything. But then I think the better of it. Why should I try to justify it to her? Why should I want to?

"Yes," I finally reply.

The lights hit us then and Sakura puts on the most dazzling smile she can muster, while I try not to look so brooding as we begin to make our way down the steps. The dinner is just like the past four dinners we've had, but the atmosphere is different now. Now I know what's been bothering Sakura. Now I share that burden of wondering if we're doing what the Capitol wants us to do, if by acting oblivious and lost in our so-called love for each other that we're quelling the rebellion and dissent festering in Magea. Once again, everything has changed.

The next few districts, I put more effort into our romantic act. During ceremonies, our hands are always intertwined, and we make no more personal speeches. At dinners, I hardly leave Sakura's side at all, and we even manage to get caught trying to sneak away from the dinners once or twice. Then on the trains, we're both miserable as we try to figure out what effect we're having and then realize that things aren't looking good.

In all the districts after seven, I'm ever aware of the charged atmospheres, particularly in Districts Four and Three, where peacekeepers move in to quiet an unruly crowd and the crowds push back rather than retreat, where the chants of Sakura's and my name sound like a cry for vengeance rather than a cheer. We can't change this no matter how believable our romance is. If Sakura's and my actions were the actions of two people gone temporarily insane in their desperation to save each other, then the districts are willing to embrace the insanity.

More than me, the stress begins to take its toll on Sakura. I hear Demetrius more than once comment about having to take in the waist of her dresses and her prep team is constantly fretting about the bags under her eyes. The one time Sonomi gave her sleeping pills, they only cause her to scream in terror as she tries to break free from the haze of drugs that prolong her nightmares. She refuses the pills after that, and I take matter into my own hands. She comes into my room every night and sleeps because being near me, her watchful protector, is the only way she can get a semblance of rest. Some nights she's content just lying next to me. Other nights I have to hold her in my arms. Sometimes she even asks me to sing that song she and Toya always accuse me of singing. Normally, it would embarrass me, but I'll do just about anything if it eases the girl's anxiety.

The fact that she sleeps in my room every night becomes a subject of gossip on the train. At first I'm furious. But then I remember something Clow told me. Once you leave the Magic Games, you're an adult. Not to mention that fourteen is the legal age of consent in most districts, definitely in District Twelve. Besides, if we're lucky, it will get to President Wang and spread through the districts. Maybe the rumor will help. No one is bold enough to come ask me about it in any case, though Sakura admits through giggles one night that she had to tell Sonomi that we'd be more discrete. I even manage to laugh at that.

The ceremony and dinner for District Two is particularly hard. If it hadn't been for us, Ruby probably would have won the games. Not to mention that she was my ally, if only for twenty minutes near the end of the games. However, I can't risk making any personal speeches about her. I'm not even sure what I would say.

It's after dinner in District Two, when we're back on the train that Clow pulls Sakura and I to the side and tells us that fleeting glances, always being together, holding hands, trying to sneak away from dinners, and rumors of other things going on isn't enough anymore. The subject had come up before, somewhere in one of the many interviews we had right after the Magic Games, and Sakura simply giggled and said, "Yue's so shy and such a private person. He doesn't do public displays of affection." The answer was flawless and after that no one asked. But now is not the time for assumptions and wondering. It's one thing for me to admit on national television that I love Sakura, but another thing to show. Really show.

Once Clow leaves us to go to his room, I look at Sakura, who is pointedly avoiding my gaze, but she's not blushing out of embarrassment or shyness. If anything she looks a little frustrated. I sympathize with her. If only we had tried a little harder. If only I had been a little less rebellious. If only District Seven hadn't happened.

In the last few months, we've had so much taken from us. I hadn't wanted to take this from Sakura either, and I told Sakura as much after that interview where Sakura said I hated public displays of affection. That much had been true of course. She hadn't lied. But there was another reason, a reason I shared with her after I asked where she came up with the public displays of affection thing and how she knew about it.

"It's you, Yue. It wasn't that hard to figure out," she said and then added, "Besides, I couldn't say it was because you think I'm too young to be in a relationship with you in the first place."

"It has nothing to do with your age," I said before I could stop myself.

"Oh?" Sakura asked in surprise.

"It's…" I trailed off because the reason is stupid, especially for someone like me who doesn't believe in sentiment and romantic ideas.

"What?"

"Your first kiss shouldn't be scripted or because that's what the audience wants you to do. It should be on your own terms, Sakura, with someone you love and you know loves you back or at least wants to kiss you," I said, feeling my cheeks heat up in embarrassment as I avoid Sakura's gaze.

Sakura giggled and said, "That's so sweet, Yue. Thank you."

Now looking at Sakura, I can't help but wonder what's going through her head about all this, but I can tell she's not going to say anything so instead I mutter, "Sorry."

She sighs and then says, while still avoiding me gaze, "It's okay. We would have had to do it sooner or later."

That much is true.

Then she looks at me with an impish grin, though I can still see the sadness in her eyes and says in a teasing tone, "You know we're going to have to practice?"

* * *

**AN:** And from this point a lot of things happen in quick succession. The chapter after this was one of my favorite to write.

I'll be honest, I was about to say to heck with this story because after my three month hiatus, it seemed like everyone had just lost interest in the story because I hadn't gotten any responses. I did eventually get one (which I really enjoyed reading btw), which inspired me to go ahead and keep _writing _this because I was going to update what I already had written anyway today. With this said, I'm going to start the review quota because I'm little more than halfway done writing this story and can commit to a schedule now.

So for the next chapter, I'm asking for **2 review before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two.

Remember, reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I feel like I wouldn't have to do this since this is a Hunger Games/CCS mesh, but any lines or conversations that look paraphrased from the Hunger Games, I'm attributing to Suzanne Collins, so don't accuse me of plagiarism.**

* * *

**5**

The plan is simple. In District One, after months and weeks of being discrete, Sakura and I will somehow manage to sneak away from a tour or dinner, anywhere where our presence will be obviously missed, and get caught in the middle of a "passionate" kiss, hopefully by someone with a camera. No doubt it will be all over television by the end of the night. But to make sure it goes without a hitch, we have to practice.

Sakura sits on my bed cross-legged, chin resting in her hands as she watches me as I sit on the edge of my bed a good distance away.

She's spent the last twenty minutes listing all the reasons we need to practice kissing. She doesn't have convince me though. I know we have to if we want this to look something we've been doing behind closed doors for months. Still the fact that we have to do this if we want to have any hope of convincing Magea of our romance doesn't make this any less awkward or make me turn around to face Sakura. At least I'm not the only one feeling uncomfortable. Even though she's watching me, Sakura hasn't moved to close the distance between us either.

Finally, my practicality begins override any embarrassment I might have upon realizing that we'll be in District One in a few short hours and that we'll only have some of that time to practice because we'll have to get dressed. I turn to face Sakura now.

"So how are we going to do this?" she asks.

"You're asking me as if I have more experience in this department than you do."

"You do," Sakura points out.

"He kissed me," I mutter, instantly knowing that she's talking about what she saw between me and Toya on my birthday.

"What?"

"Your brother. He kissed me," I repeat. "Not the other way around."

"Still," she says. "Alright. I'll count to three. Then we'll do it."

I nod in agreement, and then she begins to count. Obviously we weren't clear on what three meant because while I took Sakura to mean after three, she leans in on three. The result is an awkward, if not painful, collision of our foreheads.

While Sakura laughs, I scowl and say dryly, "Good thing we did decide to practice. What everyone would say if this happened on camera…"

The next time we agree that we'll move in right after three. This time, I count and after three, our lips meet for the first time. It's similar to Toya's kiss, yet not. Sakura's lips are soft like his, but her kiss is softer, a little more timid. Being this close to her also makes me more aware of the way she smells, like the meadow just outside the woods that I used to leave her in when I hunted. It's at this point that I decide to try not to think so much and go with instinct on this. On the flip side, I don't have much instinct about matters like these. But it seems like Sakura does, so I simply copy the movements of her lips after feeling them against mine.

I don't know how long we kiss before pulling away. When we do pull away though, Sakura looks down at her lap, while I furrow my eyebrows and try to figure out how I felt about it. Before I can say anything, Sakura looks up and with tears in her eyes says, "I feel like a rapist or something."

All thoughts of trying to figure out how I feel are wiped from my mind as I'm now more concerned about how Sakura manages to feel like a rapist.

"A rapist?" I ask in bewilderment, because I can't fathom where she got that one from.

"I'm forcing something on you that you don't want."

"Sakura…" I begin, but I have no clue what to say.

"This isn't what you want. You're being forced into this."

"So are you," I point out.

"Not as much as you."

I'd be blind if I didn't know that Sakura enjoys this charade to some extent, at least when she can make herself forget why we have to do it. She enjoys holding onto my hand as we're taken on tours through the districts, the dinners where I hover over her and dance with her even though I don't want to. It's only when we're back on the train after those dinners that the reality of it all comes crashing down on her and, in a way, the fact that she partly likes it probably makes it much harder for her than it does for me. The guilt that she must feel about all this probably suffocates her. And now, hearing her say that she feels like a rapist is starting to make me feel guilty about the fact that I don't reciprocate this like she wishes I would. But I can't dwell on that. Both of us sitting here feeling guilty about things we can't control isn't going to help matters.

"If anyone should feel like the rapists, it's the Capitol. We wouldn't have to do this if it weren't for them," I say. "They're the ones holding a gun to our head. So don't blame yourself."

She still doesn't look comforted by this, so I add with a slight smile, "Besides, it wasn't that bad. I could… I might be able to get used to it."

Sakura shrugs and somehow, I know her nightmares tonight are going to be a lot worse than they usually are.

Finally I decide it's no use trying to cheer her up and say, "I'm going to take these clothes off."

As I stand up to head to the bathroom, she grabs my hand and says, "Wait."

I turn to look at her, and she flushes as if ashamed when she asks, "You owe me another charm."

Since making her that first charm on the way to District Eleven, it's become something of a ritual that I make a new charm for her during the ride to each district. Sometimes she tells me what she wants and other times, I come up with one for her. Windy, her star key pendant, a needle and spool of thread for Chiharu, an ax with the seal of the sun guardian for Kero, the flower spirit that wanted to dance with her from the Magic Games, a peach blossom for Toya. She puts them all on a chain she now wears on her ankle since her pants or long dresses are usually covering it.

"Of what?" I ask.

"You decide tonight."

I think for a moment and then lift my hand, a small ball of silvery blue magic appears over my hand and then takes the miniature shape of Ruby's deadly crystal daggers. I can make them too, but originally, it was Ruby's trick.

"For Ruby?" Sakura asks knowingly.

I nod.

We arrive in District One a few hours later. Things go much the same as they've gone in all the other districts, except this time, Sakura and I "disappear" from our group during a tour of District One's vineyards. We're "caught" ten minutes later locked in a kiss by one of the camera crew and as we are "reprimanded" by Clow for running off, Sakura pretends to look bashful, while I press my lips together and try not to roll my eyes. We promise to be more polite and discrete only to be "caught" much the same way late into dinner.

Sakura locks herself in her room when we're back on the train and doesn't come to me to my room that night. Predictably the only thing anyone is able to talk about on Capitol television is how the two of us were always trying to find a moment alone during the visits to each district, how we finally managed to sneak away in District One and were reprimanded only to sneak away again later. The way I bet the Capitol people are eating all this up sickens me more than the guilt I feel over making Sakura feel so bad about all this.

We don't have to worry about trying too hard to act romantic for the Capitol, because there's no risk of rebellion in a place where the people's children aren't murdered for crimes committed a generation ago. But it will be our last desperate chance to convince the Districts who will be forced to watch. We make appearance after appearance to cheering crowds, kiss in front of cameras we pretend we don't know are there.

At our interview with Makato Fukui, where he flawlessly guides us through an interview, he asks us about the future, and Sakura begins to gush in feigned excitement about a ring she's wearing on her left ring finger that I hadn't noticed she was wearing until she started talking about it.

"Is that—" Makato begins, but Sakura quickly cuts him off.

"It's a promise ring," she says and then goes into some random babble about what it means and some made up story about why and how I gave it to her. How she wishes everyone could have seen it, but I'm too shy to do something like that on television. How everything has happened so fast lately, that we just want to take on the future one step at a time.

Sakura's well planned save is the first time and probably the closest I'll ever come to wanting to kiss her. If she hadn't thought of that, if she hadn't gotten that ring, I probably would have been expected to ask her to marry her or something and in my refusal to do it would have sparked uprisings in the entire nation.

I manage to catch five minutes alone with Sakura to ask where she really got the ring right before we have to change into our outfits for the party at President Wang's mansion.

"Demetrius," she says and adds nothing more. It makes me wonder who, besides maybe our prep teams and Sonomi (maybe), isn't aware that our romance is a charade.

The party in the President's Mansion is at least a hundred times more elaborate than the most elaborate party or dinner we've attended on the tour. The ceiling forty feet above us looks like the night sky, glimmering with stars. Halfway between the floor and the ceiling, musicians float on platforms that look like white clouds, there are chairs and sofas around fire places, ponds, or gardens rather than dining tables for people to eat and socialize, a large tiled dance floor, and a stage for the various performers. All that's nice, but it's the food that's the real attraction.

Tables line the walls with every food I can think off and even some that I can't. Whole roasted cows, pigs, and goats turning on spits, platters of chicken, turkey, and duck stuffed with fruit and nuts, seafood drizzled in sweet sauces, chesses, breads, waterfalls of wine, and more.

Last year, before and after the games, I was so consumed in anger at the Capitol, worry that I wouldn't be able to get Sakura out the games alive, worry that even after we won we wouldn't make it back to district twelve, and the last few weeks worried that anything we said or did or didn't say or didn't do might cause an uprising that I've never taken the time to enjoy the extravagant food that the Capitol has to offer. But tonight, after the last few stressful and tiring weeks, I decide to allow myself some indulgence. Judging by the look on Sakura's face, after weeks of being too stressed to eat, her appetite has also returned but she still looks conflicted, like she wants to be ashamed that she wants to indulge rather than being worried about more important things.

"Not tonight," I say to her.

She blinks out her stare and turns to look at me.

"Don't worry about anything tonight," I repeat. "Just try to enjoy yourself."

She looks at me with a questioning gaze, our eyes lock and something passes between us. Then she nods. We both need this. Tonight we won't think about whether or not we've succeeded in quelling the rebellion and dissent in the districts. Worrying about it isn't going to change anything.

She starts to turn back toward the food, but then stops and turns back to me. Before I can do anything stands on her toes so that she's somewhat level with me, aided by the tall heels Demetrius has put her in, and kisses me on the cheek. She pulls back, cheeks glowing with a blush even in the dim lighting and a smile alighting her features. Then without saying anything she turns back to the tables, trying to decide where to start.

I linger behind, trying to analyze her actions. It was only on the cheek, but something about it is much more intimate and manages to fluster me in a way that none of the many kisses we've shared in the last two days have managed. Maybe because I know it wasn't for the cameras or the people watching. Maybe because I know it was just for me and no one else. Either way, it takes me a few moments to collect myself before I follow Sakura to the tables.

"There's so much," Sakura says. "I want to taste everything in the room."

"Good luck with that," I say as I scan over the food again.

"I won't take more than one bite of each dish," Sakura decides.

Her resolve is broken at the first table, filled with at least a dozen soups. On her fifth soup, she says, "I could eat this one all night."

But she doesn't and passes the remaining bite or so to me like the other soups she doesn't finish so none of it will go to waste, because we can't bring ourselves to throw away good food like we've seen so many others do tonight.

As we make our rounds through the different tables, we're also greeted by people who want to hug us, kiss us, take photos, and exchange names. Apparently Sakura and I have started a new fashion trend. While Sakura's crest seems to be popular with young girls her age and younger or so as we've seen in the appearances we've made in the Capitol, just about everyone wears the seal or crest of the moon guardian whether it be embroidered on a piece of clothing, a piece of jewelry, or tattooed on some intimate place on their body. Even in District Seven, it was the seal of the moon guardian that was sent into the sky like a beacon. When I wonder aloud why it's the seal of the moon guardian, the seal on my district token, that's become so popular rather than Sakura's, Sakura enlightens me.

"It's because it represents both of us," she says.

"Both of us?" I ask.

She nods. "The crescent moon is you and the star inside is me. The star lights the way and the moon guardian protects her light. It makes people feel safe; protected."

It's an insightful way to look at it and with Sakura's insight, now I know that we'll never be able to quell the rebellion in the districts. Not now that they have a symbol to hold onto, a beacon to guide them through the darkness and a guardian to protect that light. Things are just going to get much worse. Not just in the districts, but even in the Capitol judging by how many people are wearing the seal. I imagine it drives President Wang nuts, to see that not even the people of the Capitol are immune to our influence even if my desperate need to protect Sakura and Sakura's attempted suicide were just the acts of two lovers trying to save each other.

No one wants to miss us at the party and though Sakura acts thrilled to meet everyone and I politely greet everyone who comes to greet us, they just distract us from the food. As we round the tables, Sakura keeps to her one bite per dish, periodically handing me what she won't let herself eat or even hand feeding me things she thinks I'll like. Though she's not doing it for anyone else's entertainment, I'm sure the Capitol will be talking about how Sakura handfed me at the president's party for days.

We haven't even sampled a dozen tables, which is only a small portion of what the party has to offer, before Sakura gives up and says, "I can't eat anymore."

At that moment, my prep teams comes up to us. Between all the alcohol and their excitement at being invited to such an affair, they're almost incoherent.

"You're not eating?" Mai asks Sakura.

"I have, but there's so much. There's no way I could taste it all," Sakura replies.

The three women laugh at her and then Tiki says, "No one lets that stop them."

Then they lead us to a table with tiny stemmed wine glasses filled with clear liquid.

"Drink this," Tiki says, handing one to Sakura.

She starts to take a sip, but stops when my entire prep team screeches at her.

"You have to do it over there," Nana says pointing in the direction of the restrooms. "Otherwise you'll get it all over the floor."

It takes me less than a second to figure out what they're implying. Sakura has figured it out too, but she's in such disbelief that she asks, "It'll make me throw up?"

They laugh again, as though it's the most insane question to ask. Then Nana says, "Of course. So you can keep eating. I've already been twice. Otherwise how else would you have any fun at a feast?"

My lips press together tightly, my eyes narrow, and against my own control, my fingers begin to curl into a fist. All propriety, politeness, pleasing the Capitol, and quelling rebellion and dissent is the furthest from my mind as I get ready to lash out at my prep team and quite possibly choke them.

Sakura, having set the glass back down on the table instantly grabs my hands and says, "Let's dance, Yue. We haven't danced all night."

She drags me out to the dance floor and I don't stop her, because if left to my own devices, I might hurt someone. As we dance, all I can think about is how back home and back in the poor districts we've visited, it's not uncommon to walk around and see emaciated and starved children. How before the Magic Games, before all the money, fancy parties, dinners, and all the food we could ever need and a lot more, that we were one small misfortune away from starving. And in the Capitol, people throw up food just so they can eat again. Suddenly, whatever good mood I was in is gone. And I no longer want to indulge.

"Yue," Sakura says. "You have to stop looking so angry."

I let out a slow breath, hoping to release some of my frustrations. It doesn't work, but I do manage to loosen up my face so I don't look any more hostile than normal.

"Just when you start to think they might not be so bad," I say. "But what do I expect. They bring people's children here to fight to the death for fun."

"Then maybe we shouldn't stop it," Sakura replies, looking thoughtful.

"Stop what?"

"The uprisings. In the districts. Maybe we shouldn't…" she trails off upon seeing my pointed glare. "Sorry."

I nod in acknowledgement, but I hope she doesn't notice how my heart skipped a beat and then began to race upon hearing her say that. It's one thing for me to think that. I have a tendency towards rebellion anyway. Everyone knows that. But Sakura still has a chance. If worse comes to worse—and a voice in the back of my head tells me one day it probably will—and the Capitol manages to defeat the Districts like they did in the first war, then at least Sakura can play innocent, can say she didn't do any of this on purpose. I unfortunately can't completely fall back on that excuse.

Then Demetrius comes over with a somewhat tall woman with long reddish brown hair who looks vaguely familiar to me. He introduces her as Kaho Mizuki, the new head Gamemaker and announcer for the Magic Games. Sakura is smiling again as she allows the woman to cut in.

I'm not particularly pleased to be dancing with her. I hardly let people I'm close to touch me, let alone a stranger. Thankfully, she keeps her distance as we make small talk about the party, the entertainment, the food, and then she jokes about avoiding punch since last year's training. It takes me a few seconds to realize she's the woman who dropped punch on herself when I shot that arrow into their viewing area during my training session.

"So that was you?" I ask with dry humor.

"You'll be pleased to note that I haven't recovered," she says softly in good humor.

Good. I haven't recovered from last year's games. In fact, I'm still playing.

"Must be an honor to be the new Head Gamemaker."

The woman shrugs. "There weren't many takers for the job with it being such a big responsibility with how the games turn out."

It's a reference to the last announcer and Head Gamemaker. Sakura told me that President Wang also told her that he suddenly died from natural causes. Some sickness or another. We both know that means he was killed for allowing us to both get out alive. And so does Kaho.

"Are you planning the Quarter Quell Games yet?" I ask to be polite, hoping anger isn't seeping into my tone.

"We've been working on it for years. Arenas aren't built in a day. But the tone of the Games is being determined now," she says quietly.

Her gaze is discomforting. She's looking at me, right in eyes as though they're a window to my soul, to my every secret, my every nuance, my every desire. I look away from her, pressing my lips together in caution.

Kaho notices.

"I'm sorry," she says. "You just remind me of someone I knew a long time ago. A friend."

"Oh really?" I ask. "What happened to your friend?"

"Died," Kaho says solemnly. Then she shakes her head and takes out a watch that's attached to a chain around her neck and smiles. She flips open the lid. "Look at the time. I'll have to be going soon. We have a meeting about the Quarter Quell tonight."

"So late?" I ask

Kaho nods and then adds, "They're supposed to be kept secret, but I thought it would be safe to tell you."

I start to reply that her secret is safe with me when Kaho runs her thumb across the face of the watch and for just a second, I see the seal of the moon guardian, glowing like candlelight. And then it disappears.

"That's an interesting watch," I say slowly, not sure if my eyes were deceiving me.

"It's one of a kind," Kaho agrees. Then she shakes my hand and says, "I'll see you this summer at the games."

Even as Kaho disappears and I go to search for Sakura, our conversation stays with me. For some reason, I feel like something very important transpired, something clandestine. I feel like I was supposed to learn something and tuck it away until later. Just when I think nothing else can knock me off balance, it does.

As I go to look for Sakura, another stranger, obviously very drunk, yet again congratulates me for winning the games and asks if there's any hope for an engagement anytime soon.

"We want to enjoy things. Everything has happened so fast," I reply, mimicking Sakura's answer to this question.

Then the woman says while laughing, "You better hurry before someone else is allowed to scoop her up."

As innocent as her comment was, something about it alerts my senses. _Allow? _I laugh a little anyway, but before I can ask what she means, the woman continues.

"My brother was so disappointed when you both came out alive," she says and then adds quickly, "Don't get me wrong. It's nothing personal against you but he was sorely upset that he wouldn't get the chance to buy a night with the little star mistress after the Victory Tour. Or even you since you were a favorite to win after all. He planned to be first in line for the bidding, but then you both came out and it was obvious you had staked your claim. Wouldn't want to get in the way of true love after all? But if he had the chance…" The woman then walks away without saying anything else.

I spoke too soon, because this has more than knocked me off balance, more than stunned or shocked or angered me. There's no word that can even describe how I feel right now, especially when the woman was bold enough to tell me. Then again, if she weren't so drunk, she probably wouldn't have told me. Who knows if this is completely true? But I can't shake the feeling that tells me this is the truth as I think about past Magic Games Victors, particularly one from recent years named Syaoran Li, who was branded _the_ Capitol whore soon after his Victory Tour. But maybe everyone has it wrong. Maybe he's not a whore. Maybe he's being forced into this. Maybe other victors are forced into it too. Judging by the woman's comments about being "allowed," they are. And if Sakura hadn't gotten me out the games with her, she would have been subject to the same fate. If we don't pull off this romance and President Wang figures out a way to let something happen to me without upsetting the districts, she still could be subjected to that fate.

In no time I spot Sakura across the room, dancing with some man much older than her. He might be a Gamemaker. He might have been one of our sponsors and potentially interested in sponsoring future tributes that Sakura and I will mentor. But in that moment, I don't care. Immediately I go up to them, and without hardly asking if I can cut in, I take Sakura into my arms to dance with her making sure my very being sends a clear message. Back off.

"Yue," Sakura says, obviously startled and confused though she manages to laugh as though pleasantly surprise. Who knows? Maybe she is. Frankly, I don't care. "What's gotten into you?"

"Don't dance with anyone else, tonight," I say tersely, wondering just how many of the men and women in here were just as disappointed as that woman's brother that they wouldn't be able to buy a night with Sakura or me.

"Why not?" she asks.

"Just trust me," I say pulling her closer to me, wishing I could shield her from the prying eyes of the Capitol people who may have wanted to use her. Then I say," Sakura."

"Hm?"

"Have I ever thanked you for getting me out the Magic Games with you?"

Sakura opens and closes her mouth before saying, "Yue, what's wrong with you. You're acting weird. Did you drink something…?"

"Have I?" I repeat.

She shrugs. "Not that I remember."

"Thank you," I say and without really thinking about what I'm doing, I kiss her on the forehead.

"You're… welcome?" Sakura says as though unsure if that's how she's supposed to answer.

I don't say anything, but for the first time since getting out the games, rather than feeling any sort of resigned acceptance or carefully controlled frustration that Sakura didn't just let me die at the end of the Magic Games, I feel relief.

* * *

**AN:** Okay, now this was my favorite chapter to write from beginning to end. One of the things about this story is how to make it my own and not just a Hunger Games, CCS mesh with names changed. Sometimes that's harder to do than other times, but this was one of the chapters were it was easy since it included a lot of the first scenes I envisioned for this story. So the part with the practice kissing was added in, along with the charms Yue makes for Sakura. Sakura's dismay over somewhat enjoying the entire romantic charade when Yue's being more or less forced into it (something I don't feel we got to see with Peeta in _Catching Fire_). I also added Yue figuring out that the Capitol sells the victors, something that wasn't reveal until much later in the books, and thanking Sakura for getting him out. I had all this envisioned before I sat to write a word of this story, thus it was so easy and enjoyable to write. And I hope you enjoyed it too.

Remember I ask for **2 review before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two.

Remember, reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


	6. Chapter 6

**6**

Not long after my conversation with the drunk woman who alerted me to yet another depth of the perverseness of the Capitol, Sonomi comes to collect us. We find Demtrius, Tomoyo, and our prep teams and then make rounds to say good-bye to important people.

"Where's Clow?" Sakura asks.

Sonomo shrugs and says, "He doesn't do big socials like these. He'll meet us at the train."

By the time we've traveled through the throng of people in the streets in a car with blackened windows and get to the train, we learn Clow is already there and in his room. Tomoyo orders tea for us as we listen to Sonomi go over what we have planned next and remind that we're still on tour; last stop, District Twelve and the Harvest Festival. We drink our tea after that and head straight to bed.

Early the next afternoon I wake up, aware of Sakura lying curled up behind me. I can tell she's facing me because somehow I can feel her eyes watching me. This trip must have exhausted me more than I thought it has because I didn't even sense her come in last night.

"Nightmares." I say knowingly, without facing her.

"No. Only nice dreams," Sakura admits. I don't ask what they were about because I know she's going to tell me anyway, and she doesn't disappoint. "You were in it and so was I, but I was older."

I sigh. Does the first thing she has to do early in the morning is make me feel guilty that I don't dream of our happily ever after together? Before I can say anything though, she keeps going.

"And… Kero was in it. I think."

"You think?" I ask frowning. So it wasn't our future then.

"Well, it felt like him. And it was his voice, but he looked like… like a big cat. Like a lion without a mane, but with pointed ears and… and wings," she adds.

I turn to look at her now, trying to hide my surprise, but Sakura isn't paying attention. Her eyes are closed and there's a slight smile on her face as she recalls her dream.

"We lived in a big house, kind of like the one in Victors' Village, but much cozier and brighter with lots of windows. And spirits lived with us. And in the kitchen on the table, there was a picture of my mother wearing a pretty dress and smiling," she explains. Then she sighs in contentment and says, "We were happy. Just the three of us and the spirits."

This is impossible. I thought I was imagining things, but how likely is it that I'm just imagining things when Sakura is having the exact same types of dreams as I've been having since the Magic Games. Of her as a young, but adult woman, of Kero as a big cat with wings, of a house with a kitchen and a picture of…

"Sakura," I say.

"Hm?" she says without opening her eyes.

"Your mother," I say. "Did your mother have long, dark, wavy hair and soft brown eyes?"

"Yes," Sakura replies. "Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering."

So there is something to those dreams I've been having. It's the only way to explain how in those dreams there's a color picture of Sakura's and Toya's mother when the only picture I've seen of her is black and white. And if there was a picture of her on a kitchen table in a bright cozy house in Sakura's dream, then that can only mean she's dreaming of the same house I've seen, the house I claimed I'd never seen when Clow insisted I took him there in that… I don't even know what to call our communication after the end of the Magic Games. A projection maybe, because it wasn't a dream, but it didn't happen in the physical world either.

"Yue," Sakura says snapping me out my thoughts. Her eyes are open now. "Do you have nightmares?"

I press my lips together for a moment, trying to decide whether or not to answer her, because surely a simple yes or no isn't going to be enough for her. Finally I say, "Yes."

"They don't bother you?" she asks.

"They do," I admit.

"What are they?"

That's something I don't want to admit. Not only does it embarrass me, but I don't want Sakura to take it the wrong way. But we agreed back in District Seven that there's no use hiding things from each other. One way or another she's going to find out.

"They're about losing you."

She's silent for a few beats before saying slowly, "Losing me."

"Not so much losing you as failing to protect you," I correct. That sounds better. What I don't tell her though is that I don't just dream about losing her in the Magic Games or President Wang deciding it's less trouble to just kill her. I dream about her being that woman, of me kneeling over her lifeless body in the ruins of a war and disaster torn world. The more I think about it, the more I begin to wonder if there might be some truth to the legend of the star mistress and her two guardians; if my need to protect Sakura, a need that's so engrained in me I hardly know what I am without it, goes back to a past life where I failed to protect her in the end.

"It's fine though," I finally add. "Once I ensure that you're still safe and sound, I'm okay. So don't feel like you're imposing when you come into my room at night. There's mutual benefit."

I also neglect to tell her that I'm afraid one day checking on her, just knowing she's there won't be enough. All this pretending, all this acting, has started to warp my sense of reality so much that sometimes I question whether the world I wake up in is real or if I'm still dreaming. Right now, Sakura's presence is enough to ground me on the days I feel like that, but one day I'm afraid not even that will be enough.

"Want to see something?" Sakura asks.

"Are you giving me a choice?"

Sakura laughs as she shows me something that she had been hiding behind her arms, pressed to her chest. It's a pink card, like the one she sealed Windy in, but Windy isn't on this one. Instead what looks like a shifting kaleidoscope pattern is drawn on it, with a pink gem in the center near the top. Last time she let me see Windy, I was too caught up in getting ready for the tour to take in the details, but this time I take note of the Sun on the mid right of the card and the crescent moon on the mid left, the half star with a long middle point and some character drawn inside at the top, and the star at the bottom, right above where a name is drawn in characters that don't look Asian. Instead they resemble something belonging to some distant countries that our nation long ago lost contact with called Europe and North America. The characters at the bottom resemble an outdated version of our current alphabet system, but I can still read it.

"Illusion," I read aloud. "When did this happen?"

"After District One. Apparently it can sense our little charade and was attracted by it in District One. I thought I had gone mad when I kept seeing things and then I realized what it was. It followed me on the train and even though I wanted it to go away, so it wouldn't keep giving me grief, I sealed it. I guess sealing it is what you would call it," Sakura adds.

"Isn't that some complicated magic?" I asked.

"Not really," Sakura replies. "Not once you know how to do it."

Then something else occurs to me. "What was it showing you? Illusion?"

Sakura flushes and closes her mouth. Seeing that it must have been harmless enough, I don't press the matter, but Sakura still decides to change the subject.

"You owe me a new charm."

"I forgot after District One. What do you want?"

"The seal of the moon guardian," Sakura says without pause. "To celebrate the end of this trip. Home."

Safety, protection, she doesn't add, but she doesn't need to, and I make the charm for her, reminded that we are indeed almost home.

In District Twelve, we'll have dinner at Mayor Tsukiro's house and a victory rally in the square during the Harvest Festival tomorrow. The Harvest Festival is always celebrated on the last day of the Victory Tour, but usually it's just a meal at home with family and friends. With the Capitol throwing it this year, it will be a public affair.

As soon as the train stops, we get in cars and head to the mayor's house where we'll prepare for tonight's dinner. Since I've been here multiple times with Toya and recently without him, I know where I'm going. I catch sight of both Yukito and Toya when we walk into the house. I meet both their eyes and send then a small genuine smile. Toya I am genuinely glad to see. Yukito and I still aren't close friends, but he did give me my district token and he taught me how to play the piano as much as I was willing to learn. Before I can do much else, Sonomi whisks Sakura and I away to the third floor to get ready. But once I've been prepped and dressed in a silver and purple suit minus the hat because this is home and I can be myself a little, I have a little more than an hour to kill and so I go look for Yukito and Toya. I'm sure to find them in Yukito's room on the second floor.

As I head to Yukito's room I pass by several guest rooms and Yukito's father's study. Out of politeness, I poke my head into the study to say hello but Yukito's father isn't there. The television is on though, displaying shots of Sakura and I at the Capitol, particularly the ones of Sakura hand feeding me. I wonder if Magea is as tired of all the press of the star-crossed lovers of District Twelve as I am.

I start to leave the room when an incessant beeping catches my attention. I turn back to see the television has gone black. Then the words "UPDATE ON DISTRICT 8" start flashing. I know I shouldn't be seeing this. I know this isn't for my eyes. I know I should leave. But then again, when have I ever done what I know I should do when my curiosity gets the better of me? Instead I come fully into the room so I can get a full view of the television.

An announcer I've never seen before appears. A woman with graying hair and a hoarse, authoritative voice. She warns that conditions are worsening and a Level 3 alert has been called. Additional forces are being sent into District 8, and all textile production has ceased.

The cameras cut away from the woman to the main square in District 8. There are still banners with my face and Sakura's waving from the rooftops. Below them, there's a mob scene, packed with screaming people, faces hidden with rags and homemade masks, throwing bricks and burning buildings, peacekeepers shooting into the crowd and killing at random. An uprising.

And in that moment, without Sakura needing to talk to President Wang, I know with a surety that Sakura and I have failed.

I move for the door, making sure to close it behind me and head down the hall to find Yukito's room, running into Yukito's father as I head down the hall. He asks me if I'm looking for Yukito and Toya. I nod my head and he tells me I know where to find them.

I practically run to Yukito's room, and slam the door shut when I'm inside. Then I turn to face Yukito and Toya who are sitting on his bed. Yukito smiles and gives me a polite greeting and what he thinks is a compliment; that I look like I just walked off the streets of the Capitol. I'm too disturbed to be angry at it though, so I don't say anything. No, not disturbed. I feel like a caged animal knowing that it's about to be slaughtered or something equally as terrifying. I need to get out. Tainted as they are, I need to go to the woods. But I can't. I have to survive these last two nights.

"You okay, Yue? You look like you've seen a ghost or something," Toya points out.

I quickly gain my composure. Now is not the time to panic. It won't help anything. First finish the tour and deal with what I saw on the mayor's television afterwards.

"I'm fine," I say. Instead I respond to Yukito's earlier question. Normally I don't do small talk, but I need something to take my mind away from uprisings. "Apparently my earring is too. Well the seal on it anyway. Everyone wears it now. Sure you don't want it back?"

"It was a gift," Yukito says to me as though it's the umpteenth time though this is the first time I've asked. "Of course I don't."

"Where did you get something like that anyway?" Toya asks. "It looks expensive."

Yukito shrugs. "My aunt. It's been in our family for safekeeping for ages. Said the original owner told my family to keep it safe until he came back, but he never did. Or at least, that's how the story goes. I thought it would bring you better luck."

We talk about more mundane things after that, like how the Victory Tour was, what the Capitol was like, how the food was and how I couldn't possibly taste everything (I have to suppress my anger when I remember how the Capitol people manage to taste everything). Then Sakura joins us and though we don't have to put up an act for Toya, we can't quite forget about it with Yukito sitting there, especially because I'm not sure how much Toya has told him. Yukito says nothing about our lack of affection though, especially compared to what we've been doing in front of the cameras. He probably thinks Sakura and I are too self-conscious around Toya to be affectionate.

It makes a good excuse during dinner too. We dance and laugh and I'm sure to keep an eye on Sakura as always, but we exchange no kisses, purposefully casting nervous glances at Toya, who is only too happy to play the overprotective older brother, no matter how much Magea knows he approves of our relationship. Then Sakura and I devise I plan to get away. A plan where I leave to get some air away from the cameras and she comes to find my twenty-minutes later. After which the cameras will no doubt miss both our presences and come to look for us just like they did in District One.

Only it doesn't quite go as planned. While I do manage to sneak out to the side of the mayor's house, away from cameras and the prying eyes of the guest, not even five minutes later, before Sakura can even come to find me, Toya finds me first.

"I was wondering where you disappeared to," he says as he comes to stand next to me.

"So will Sakura in about fifteen minutes or so," I say while leaning against the side of the mayor's house.

"Is that part of your romantic charade?" Toya says in a teasing tone. "Disappearing for some alone time, knowing the cameras will eventually catch you?"

"Yes," I say. "And you're ruining it. Although it would be easy to spin and say that you came out here to make sure my intentions to your sister are noble and that I assure you I'd never let anyone or anything hurt her or something along those lines."

Toya raises his eyebrow at me. "You all really sit to think of that stuff?"

"We have to please the audience," I reply.

Toya is silent for a moment until he says, "You sure about that?"

"About what?" I ask.

Toya shrugs. "I don't know. It just seems like… sometimes I can tell. Sometimes I can tell it's all for the cameras. But other times it looks like you two really are in your own little world, and I'm convinced your little charade is real."

"That's good to know," I say, not sure what else to say because the truth is he's right. Sometimes it does seem real. Like last night when I held her close and wouldn't let her dance with anyone else, wishing I had wings like the ones Tomoyo made me appear to have on the chariot ride at the beginning of the Magic Games so I can hide her from the rest of the world. That wasn't for anyone's sake but my own.

"Sakura seemed to be enjoying herself though, especially this new aspect of your act. She seems to enjoy all those kisses."

That's what Toya thinks. Sure she enjoys them in the moment, but he didn't hear her say she felt like a rapist, didn't see her lock herself in her room unwilling to let my presence sooth her nightmares because she was ashamed, didn't see the look of longing in her eyes after she recounted her dream of her, Kero, and I in a bright cozy house with spirits. And though we haven't talked about it, Sakura and I both agree that Toya will never know.

I'm saved from having to answer when Toya says, "I'm almost jealous. Sakura gets so many kisses with you, and I've only got one."

Until now, I hadn't noticed how close to me Toya had gotten and before I can warn Toya that he's gone far enough, his lips cover mine. My first instinct is to pull away, because we could get caught. There are cameras just inside the mayor's house that can catch us. But then I remember that as long as Sakura is still inside, they won't come looking for me. They won't notice the fact that I've disappeared and so has her brother, so there's no danger of being caught.

Then I start to feel something, something different from the first time he kissed me. I like this and not for the right reasons. The reasons are totally wrong, stemming from the fact that for months I've been doing things to please an audience, that everything that was once mine has been taken from me, that for the past two weeks I had to pretend to want things I wasn't sure I wanted at all to survive. But no one's watching this. I don't have to do this. I don't have to please anyone with this. I don't have to want this. I shouldn't want this. And because of all that, suddenly I do want this. So I shut my brain off, let my eyes fall closed and kiss Toya back.

I'm not sure how long we're like this. But I do know our lips continue to move against each other's for a long time, and we probably would have been there much longer had a sharp gasp not caught our attention.

Afraid the wrong person may have seen us, I push Toya away from me and create distance between us by walking in the direction of the person who has seen us.

Fortunately, and at the same time unfortunately, Sakura is standing there standing stiffly a few yards away, eyes wide, mouth open and closing. Was this how she reacted last time she witnessed us? But last time was different. Last time Toya kissed me and I didn't do much of anything. This time I can't fall back on that excuse.

"Sorry," she manages to whisper and before I can call her back or even rush forward and grab her, she rushes back into the backyard and presumably into the house.

* * *

**AN:** Yay! Another chapter! Thanks for the reviews and PM's. I really appreciate it. More tension, more revelations, more magic and… well, the next chapter was another I enjoyed writing a lot. Some things start to come to head, but you'll see. I can't say much of anything without risking spoiler. So until next time.

Remember I ask for **at least** **2 review before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two.

Remember, reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


	7. Chapter 7

**7**

I'll never know how we made it through the rest of the night. By the time I go back inside ten minutes later, Sakura is bright and cheerful again and manages to ask me if the outside air did me some good. Somehow the question stings me more than her being angry at me would have. I manage to nod in reply and soon the night comes to a close. That night, Sakura locks herself in her room and doesn't come out until the next afternoon when our prep teams and stylists arrive to get us ready for the Harvest Festival.

Somehow despite the tension I sense between us, we manage to keep up our romance, exchanging kisses and this time, we do get caught trying to get away from the festivities. Then, at the end of the night (for us at least) we're dragged to the center of the stage for pictures with family and friends. Then Sakura and I say our good-byes to our prep teams, Tomoyo and Demtrius, and lastly Sonomi, and they, along with the cameras, are headed back to the Capitol.

I wish I could say that I have nothing to worry about now that the cameras are gone, but that's far from the truth. Living in a house with a pair of siblings has always been interesting to say the least, especially before Fujitaka died, back before Toya worked to keep us from starving and actually had a chance to be Sakura's older brother rather than a primary caretaker. The two can fight over anything from a pencil to who can make the most filling dinner from little to nothing back when our means were spread thin.

One of the most vivid memories I have from the first week I lived with them is the two arguing about who would get the privilege to comb through my long tangled locks. At four years old, Sakura didn't stand a chance. But Sakura's not four anymore. And looking back at that event in hindsight, it was oddly foreshadowing a bigger rivalry to come, one I'm again at the center of, but not because they both want to comb my hair. This rivalry is over who will have my heart.

Though Sakura's obviously upset with me, it doesn't stop her from silently crawling into my bed every night for the next few days. I suspect it's to spite Toya, but I can't be sure she's not really having nightmares either so I let her stay. Toya on the other hand is sure to go with me anytime I go to the woods to clear my head and think about the things that transpired on the tour and the fact that despite Sakura's and my best efforts, we have certainly failed at preventing the Districts from uprising. Though we don't really talk and he doesn't try to kiss me again, I imagine he knows just the thought that we could be is enough to annoy Sakura more than she already is or at least keep her annoyed.

And for almost a week after the Harvest Festival, Sakura and Toya continue to compete for my attention. Both try to be the first in the kitchen in the morning to make my coffee. Sakura wears the chain with the twelve charms I made for her over the course of the Victory Tour on her wrist one night during dinner, making sure Toya sees it. She won't tell Toya where she got the charms, nor will Toya outright ask if they're from me. And every time Toya or I leave the house, he's sure to leave a kiss on my cheek or on my forehead or sometimes for no reason at all.

By the time Sunday comes, I've had enough of both of their antics, especially when the two arrive downstairs at the same time and begin to fight over who will make my coffee.

"Would both of you just stop it already?" I snap after they've been at it for ten minutes and I still don't have my coffee.

My tone, more than the volume of my voice, catches their attention.

Neither sibling says anything as they stop arguing to stare at me. After glaring at the two for a few beats, I make my way to the other side of the counter and snatch the coffee from Toya and the pot from Sakura.

"I'll make my own coffee this morning. I'll make my own coffee every morning from now on. Neither of you makes it right," I snap as I fill the pot with water, pour in some of the granules, and slam the pot on the stove.

Then I turn to the two.

"Get dressed. Warm, but light," I order. Then I declare, "We're going on a hike."

By the time my coffee is done and I've had two cups, because I'm going to need more than one cup for this, Toya and Sakura come down the stairs ready to go. At the same time, both notice that I'm missing my jacket and head to get it off the hook. Both grab it at the same time. Sensing the ensuing disagreement, I go to the coat hook and put my hand on the jacket. Reluctantly, both let go and allow me to take the jacket off the hook. Once it's on, I put on my gloves, grab the bag of food I packed while they were upstairs, and we head out.

We make a brief stop at Clow's house, where I leave the two siblings at the bottom of the steps and knock on the door. Clow is visibly surprised to see me since I've never come to his house before.

Without preamble I say, "We're going for a hike. Cover for us if anyone comes looking."

Without waiting for him to reply, I turn on my heel, go down the steps and lead the way out Victor Village, though I do see Sakura grimace at Clow in something of an apology for my brusque behavior.

I only pause to listen for the hum of the electric fence and once I'm sure I don't hear it, I cross into the field, heading straight for the woods, but not before getting my bow and arrows. Even though I probably won't need it, I can't be too careful anymore.

I don't say where we're going, but Sakura seems to figure out where once I steer off my old hunting path. A couple of hours hike from the fence, there's a lake with an old house, more like a one room cabin. It looks like it was one of many houses that used to be there judging by some of the old foundations around the area. The only reason I can guess it has lasted longer than the others is that it's made of concrete.

I've been planning this trip for a while, waiting for the earliest opportunity to do so after making sure the cameras were really gone. I had planned to wait a couple of more days, but with Toya and Sakura acting the way they are, this can't wait. Besides, it's Sunday, and it's not uncommon for people to disappear for a while to relax. Not outside the fence of course, but the point is that no one will come looking for us. On the way to the lake, I shoot a large wild bird, not because we needed to and not because I wanted to, but because it made too much noise and in my paranoia I shot it.

Once we arrive at the lake, I throw the dead bird on the stone floor and start a fire in the old house, while Sakura instinctively begins to sweep out the snow.

"What's this place?" Toya asks.

"Lake," I say.

Toya gives me a dry look and says, "I know that. I mean where did you find out about it?"

"Found it a long time ago," I elaborate. "Sakura and I used to come here on Sundays in the winter when everything else was hibernating. The top of the lake would freeze over, but we would cut a hole in it and fish."

"I always wondered how you managed to hunt in the winter," Toya replies.

I shrug again, managing to get the fire started, hoping the mist will hide the smoke. Then all three of us sit in front of it to thaw.

No one says anything for a while, not that I expected them to since I'm the one who decided on the impromptu trip. After about fifteen minutes, I begin.

"You're in danger, Toya," I say.

"From who?" he asks.

"President Wang. He wants you dead. He wants Sakura and I dead too, but we've known that since the end of the Magic Games."

"Why?" he asks.

I turn to Sakura and give her a questioning look. Sakura begins to explain without looking away from the fire, starting with the entire story from when we were crowned Victors, to admitting that she followed Toya and I into the woods on my birthday, to President Wang's visit, the tense Victory Tour, the murders in District Seven, our attempts to appease everyone by taking our romance act up a peg, and our fear that even that might have been enough.

"Wow," Toya says with a laugh once she's done. It's not the reaction I was expecting.

"There is _nothing_ funny about this," I say.

"You're right. It's not," Toya admits though he still laughs. "But look at all the trouble you two manage to cause when I'm not there to keep you out of it."

"I was never a trouble maker," I reply. "I was always keeping Sakura out of trouble."

Both Sakura and Toya exchange a look before looking at me, agreeing to let me think what I want for the moment. I can't complain. At least they aren't fighting over me anymore.

"So now what?" Toya asks.

"We have to run away," I decide.

"Run away?" Toya and Sakura say.

"The three of us."

"Yue," Sakura says nearly speechless. "We can't… How?"

I've been thinking about it for days now. Since Sakura showed me that card with the foreign characters. The world used to be a much bigger place than Magea, before the wars and disasters. And though Magea has long since lost any contact with those places, there has to be something outside of Magea. Somewhere people managed to come together and survive, hopefully with no Magic Games. I've even started to plan our journey. We would head west, in the direction of where District Thirteen used to be and then we would keep going until we found something.

"Doesn't matter how," I say deciding how doesn't matter if I can't convince the two to come. "But we wouldn't have to worry about President Wang paying you anymore visits. You'd be safe."

"That's if they don't find us first," Toya points out.

"They won't," I say. "I won't let them. Besides we've got magic on our side."

"We can't just leave. What about Clow? And Yukito?" Sakura asks.

I shrug. "I don't care."

"Yue!"

"I don't. I don't care about anything except keeping you safe and if that means it can't happen here, we'll risk going somewhere else I can ensure that."

"What if there is nowhere else? What if this is it?" Sakura asks.

"Doesn't matter. We'll start a somewhere else," I decide. Then I know how to convince her. "It'll be just like your dream, with the house and the spirits. Minus Kero. But maybe wherever it is, we can be happy."

Sakura suddenly flushes in embarrassment and can't meet my gaze. Then I realize what I've said and feel my cheeks heating up as I use my bangs to shield my eyes as I too avert my gaze. But even as we're unable to look at each other, somehow, Sakura's hand has found mine on the concrete floor and is gently holding it. While I don't turn my hand to hold hers also, I don't move my hand away.

"This is just how it looks when you look lost in your own little world on the television."

Both Sakura and I snatch our hands away at that. How in the world could either of us have forgotten Toya was there?

"Sometimes I even wonder if it's really an act, and I knew it was an act from the beginning. At least partly," Toya adds.

"Partly?" I wonder.

"Don't worry about it," Toya says.

"No," I say. "What do you mean partly?"

"The first interview before the games. Your little outbursts in the cave during the Games, at least the first part. When you let her hand feed you at the Capitol Party. God! Makato Fukui talked about and looped that footage for hours," Toya says tightly.

Apparently, Toya's more than a little jealous and not in a joking way either. This runs much deeper. Before I can quell his frustration though, Sakura jumps in.

"What do you have to be mad about? All that's for the cameras. At least he'll kiss you when no one's looking. At least it's not all show to please an audience," she snaps.

I spoke too soon. Toya and Sakura are still very much fighting over me and now it's all coming to a head.

"Do you two really have to fight about this now?" I ask, trying to gain control of the situation again. "We've got a target on our backs, and you're both more concerned about which one of you I want to be with. It's ridiculous."

My statement seems to quell Toya, but Sakura won't be that easily calmed.

"Yes. I am," Sakura snaps at me.

"Sakura," I say trying to stay calm, but when Sakura is like this, she always manages to bring the worst out of me.

"You promised!"

"Promised what?" I snap back. "Promised that one day I'd fall in love with you, because I know I didn't promise that. I told you not to get your hopes up."

"That's not what I'm talking about. You said you'd tell me when you decided. And you did decide, but instead of just telling me, I had to find out by coming up on you two! And you were too much of an emotional coward to admit it to me afterward!"

My anger instantly evaporates, even after she's insulted me with an admitted weakness. So that's what this is about. Somehow it has nothing to do with the fact that she thinks I've rejected her. She's upset because she think I've been lying to her all this time, that I've been leading her on. I'd sooner kill myself than purposely do that to her, but what else is she supposed to think, especially after witnessing me and Toya last week. It would be easy enough to diffuse this by telling her that the reason I kissed Toya back was because it was the first time in weeks that I could do something because I had the choice to and not to please an audience. But if I tell her that now, if I tell her that here, I'll risk hurting Toya in the process.

So I sigh and say, "That doesn't mean I decided on anything. Just because I promised to tell you doesn't mean I can't explore other options while I do."

It's blunt, it's probably harsh, but it's the best way I know how to tell her that I still don't know what I want without hurting Toya, even if does nothing to lessen the hurt Sakura already feels. If anything, it incenses her more.

"Then you can leave with Toya and explore all your options," she decides as she stands up. "I'm staying."

That said, Sakura grabs a bottle of water and some food out the sack I brought and leaves before either Toya or I can stop her. I groan loudly. That didn't go like I expected.

Toya laughs.

"What are you laughing at?" I asks.

"You didn't think Sakura was just going to agree to your little plan like she was five, did you?"

I huff. "I knew it would take a little convincing, but I didn't expect her to act like this."

"Sakura can be a little… unpredictable sometimes. But she's a teenage girl. They're all like that. So I've heard," Toya adds.

I sigh and stare into the fire. Toya on the other hand stands.

"I better go make sure she doesn't get into any trouble. When Sakura's like this, she doesn't see reason."

Toya doesn't have to tell me that. I know that very well. It's the reason I'm alive right now. It's the reason Sakura's acting out the way she is. Sakura's never been a terribly ambitious person. Always easy to please. And when she did want something, she was never too terribly disappointed when she couldn't get it. But when she really wants something, she wants it will all her being. And if it looks like she won't be able to get it, she becomes desperate. It's that desperation that makes her dangerous. It's that desperation that forced the Gamemakers to take us both out the Magic Games. Now she's set her sights on my heart. Until today, I'd underestimated how much she wanted it. And though I doubt she'll become so desperate that she'll do anything too out of the way, she's definitely not giving up without a fight to the end. I've always liked that about her. She would die before she would give up. No wonder President Wang is so afraid of her. While I'm rebellious, at the very least I'm a little predictable. Sakura's a wild card.

"You coming?" Toya asks.

"I think I'll stay a little longer," I reply.

"What are you going to do with that?" he asks pointing to the bird I shot.

I look over at it and then shrug. We certainly don't need it.

"I guess I'll see if the head peacekeeper wants it. He'll usually pay for fresh game. I'll donate the money to the orphans at the community house," I reply.

Toya reaches over to grab it. "I'll do it. That way you don't have to rush back."

I nod in thanks and watch him leave.

I only stay for thirty minutes longer before deciding to head back before anyone starts to miss my presence. As I go, I brainstorm ways to convince Sakura into running away. Toya didn't seem too opposed to it, so I'm not worried about him although he may object to leaving Yukito. But that's fine. Yukito can come and so can Clow if it helps change Sakura's mind. Maybe if I tell her about the uprising in District Eight. Or I could tell her the real reason I kissed Toya back, but that wouldn't change the fact that her affection for me is still unrequited. Maybe I can promise her a charm for every day we're on the run. She'd enjoy something like that.

I laugh aloud at the absurdity of the idea. Just as I start to think of more viable ideas a rustling catches my attention and I raise my bow and an arrow in the direction. This time it sounds like footsteps, hurried footsteps.

"Who's there?" I ask, ready to shoot.

Just as I'm about to let an arrow go, someone falls out the bushes.

"Sakura?" I ask.

That's weird. How come I didn't sense her?

Sakura gets up and brushes the dirt of herself. Then, upon seeing me she hugs me as if relieved. While normally I might be annoyed, right now I'm bemused. Wasn't she just angry at me? Didn't she storm off a while ago? She should have been home by now.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

She doesn't say anything and lets go of me, only to tug desperately on my hand.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

She shakes my hand urgently again and then takes off running, obviously wanting me to follow.

I run after her the rest of the way through the woods, past the tree line, past the hollow log where I quickly stow my bow and arrows before I continue running after her, through the fence without stopping to listen for the non-existent hum of electricity. By the time I've gotten to the meadow just back inside the fence, Sakura is nowhere to be found.

"Yue," someone says.

It's Clow.

"Yue, are you alright?"

"Fine," I say and then ask, "Did you just see Sakura?"

"A while ago," he says. "Yukito came by looking for Toya and when she told him Toya went to town, he suggested they go find him so they can have dinner at his house. His mother is feeling okay today and wants to see them. He also told me to let you know you're welcome to join them."

"Oh," I say. There was something very odd about what just happened and something tells me that while I might have been chasing what looked like Sakura, that wasn't Sakura. It explains why I didn't sense her.

Maybe it was a playful shape shifting spirit. But spirits are less than rare out in District Twelve. They prefer to live places with lots of magic, blending in with their natural elements or environments suitable to their characteristics like the Capitol and Magic Game arenas, rarely, if ever, taking their physical form. Why would a spirit be here?

"Yue," Clow calls again. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Fine," I respond, trying not to show my discomfort. There's just something about Clow that unsettles me. Every time he looks at me it's with this fond smile, like we're old friends, even family, but sadly estranged. "I guess I'll go to dinner at Yukito's."

"I'm headed into town. Why don't you walk with me? We may run into Sakura and Yukito."

Normally I'd decline, but my senses are telling me to walk with Clow. There's something I need to see, and if I don't walk with him, I won't encounter it. I find out what when we reach the square. Something is clearly happening and something tells me that this is what that spirit was trying to lead me too. She wasn't playing. She was warning me. Before Clow can say anything, I fight my way to the front of the crowd. As I do so, people who have seen me over the years strolling through town with Sakura at my side while trading wild game for money and other necessities begin to recognize me, look panicked and try to keep me back.

"Get out of here," they warn. "You'll make it worse. Do you want to get him killed?"

They do nothing but make my heart race in anticipation and morbid dread as I fight off their hands and make my way to the front of the crowd.

Toya's wrists are bound to a wooden post. The bird I shot earlier hangs above him by a nail through its neck. His jacket's gone and his shirt is torn away, while he slumps unconscious on his knees, held up only by the ropes at his wrists. What used to be his back is a raw and bloody.

Standing behind him is a man I've never seen, but I recognize his uniform. It's designated for our Head Peacekeeper. But the man wearing it is not the old man I'm used to seeing, the old man I used to trade with and sometimes have to glare at when he turns his lustful gaze to Sakura, probably wishing she'd be one of the young girls who line up at his door at night for a few coins and another shot at survival. This is a tall, muscular man with sharp creases in his pants.

Then he raises his arm, whip in hand.

I hear someone scream, "No!" and Sakura comes dashing out from the other side of the crowd having escaped Yukito's grip. She throws herself between the whip and Toya with her arms flung out at her sides and takes the full force of the next lashing to her left cheek.

I don't stop to think of consequences before I spring into action.

* * *

**AN:** ...Until next time.

Remember I ask for **at least** **2 review before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two.

Remember, reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


	8. Chapter 8

**8**

The only other time I can remember feeling remotely this way is during training, where Ruby tried to attack me and instinctively I subdued her, without even fully know what I was doing. This time, that instinctive feeling is multiplied tenfold.

Without thought, I jump between Sakura, who is now lying on the ground, and the peacekeeper. When the man raises his arm and starts to bring it down to crack the whip again, I catch the lash, ignoring the sting in my hand as I snatch the whip out the man's grip.

I switch from holding the whip's lash to holding its handle, ready to find out how much this new head peacekeeper would like me to lash him with it. Seeing this, the man pulls his gun on me, but I am not deterred.

Just as things are about to get much worse, Clow has entered the fray and covered my hand with his, somehow forcing me to drop the whip. Then he pulls Sakura roughly to her feet and gently touches the already swelling flesh, causing Sakura to cower away from his touch.

"Oh this is certainly nice," Clow says softly, in his familiar fatherly tone. "Don't you have a photo shoot next week for Tomoyo? You said as a favor you'd model that that new line she's releasing next month? What are we supposed to tell her?"

Finally, the man seems to recognize us, particularly me and definitely Clow who's been on television for years. But with Sakura's face free of makeup and her eye and cheek swollen, it's not easy to recognize her as one of the victors of the last Magic Games.

"They interrupted the punishment of a confessed criminal."

The audacity of these people amazes and angers me. They condone sending innocent children to fight to the death, and Toya is a confessed criminal. I wish I hadn't left my bow and arrow because I'd like to put at least three arrows into this man's body.

Clow shrugs. "Doesn't matter. She's got a photo shoot next week and I doubt she'll be camera ready…"

I'm not sure if Sakura really does have a photo shoot, but if Clow thinks it will get us out of this, I can worry about that later.

"That's not my problem," the man says.

"It will be when I call the Capitol and they asked who authorized this," Clow says while blowing on the swelling to soothe it, as though the peacekeeper isn't holding a gun to us.

"He was poaching. What's it their business?"

I don't wait for Clow this time.

"He's her brother," I snap. "And she's my…"

Darn it. What are Sakura and I? Girlfriend or lover doesn't sound strong enough. I lie.

"She's my fiancé. So if you're so keen on punishing him," I say nodding to Toya, "You'll have to go through us first."

No one's made a stand like this in District Twelve before. Sure I've stood up to a peacekeeper before, but the peacekeepers in District Twelve weren't like this before today, not to mention last time I stood up to a peacekeeper I had the benefit of all of Magea watching. But no one's made an obvious public stand of defiance like this. And right now, I care nothing of the repercussions, even as an eerie calm settles over the area. The calm before a devastating storm.

Thankfully, the old peacekeepers, the ones who we've grown up seeing in District Twleve and have watched Sakura and I make our way trading and bartering through town, seem to be enjoying this display about as much as we do. One of them, a woman who used to buy Sakura sweet fruit candy and me gingersnap cookies out the bakery, steps forward.

"I believe, for a first offense, the required number of lashes has been dispensed, sir," she says. "Unless your sentence is death, which we would carry out by firing squad."

"Is that the standard protocol here?" asks the Head Peacekeeper.

"Yes, sir," the woman says, and several others nod in agreement. I'm sure none of them actually know because usually the peacekeepers are more concerned about bidding on who gets the breast or a drumstick of a big bird like the one I shot.

"Take you brother and get out of here," the head peacekeeper spats as he picks up his whip. As he wipes his hand along the length of the whip to get the blood off, he adds, "Tell him when he comes to that if I catch him poaching again, I'll personally assemble the firing squad."

Then he and the other peacekeepers leave. I watch them and the crowd disperse while Sakura runs to Toya and shouts his name. By the time I turn around, Clow, Sakura and Yukito have managed to get Toya off the post, causing him to collapse to the ground.

No one helps us out of fear, but I don't blame them. We briefly ponder how we're going to get Toya out of here when Sakura takes out a familiar pink card and says, "Windy, carry Toya for us."

The card disappears and I sense the spirit materialize, though she doesn't reveal herself in her true form. Instead she gathers underneath Toya and lifts him from the ground.

Windy follows us back to our old neighborhood where a community healer and her young daughter live. We go to her for two reasons. One is that I know we can trust her. The second is that she won't ask questions, not about what happened (unless she needs the information to help Toya) or the fact that we bring him floating into her kitchen on presumably thin air.

The woman, Kameha, swiftly clears her kitchen table and lies a sheet over it before gesturing us lie Toya down on his stomach on the surface. Then she begins taking things out her cabinet and gives her daughter a series of swift instructions while telling Sakura, Clow and I to get out the way.

She takes one look at Sakura, hands her a cloth, tells her to fill it with snow and put it to her eye before continuing to deal with Toya's more pressing case and once again tells us to get out.

We run into Yukito as we head outside, who stayed behind to piece together the story of what happened from those that were willing to tell it. Toya went to the old peace keeper's house, as I've done dozens of times in the past, but the old lecherous man who takes advantage of young girls' misfortunes wasn't there, and no one knows what happened to him since this morning when he was seen buying alcohol at the black market this morning. Instead, Toya found the new Head peacekeeper, named Kouji, who placed him immediately under arrest. With a dead bird in his hand there was nothing Toya could do as word spread of his arrest. Then he was forced to the square, made to plea guilty to his crime and sentence to an immediate whipping. By the time Sakura and Yukito showed up, Kouji had given him at least forty strikes, but Toya passed out at thirty.

Upon hearing this, I want to be angry. I want to go back and take Kouji's whip and lash him like I should have before Clow stopped me. But any desire I have to feel that way is overshadowed by overwhelming guilt. The only thing Toya was guilty of was doing a favor for a friend. I was the one who shot the bird. I was the one who was supposed to take it into town. I should have been the one tied to that whipping post.

After Yukito has told us the entire story, without really thinking I guide Sakura outside to collect snow to put on the swell of her face. I mechanically tie the cloth closed when it's full and put it on the girl's swollen shut eye. A few hours later, Kameha calls Sakura in to tend to the girl's face. I stay outside, not really concerned that it's begun to snow again, lost in my own thoughts.

"Are you coming in?" Clow asks me.

"I'll stay out here a little longer," I reply.

"Do you want some ice for that?"

I have no clue what Clow's talking about until I look down at my left hand, swollen and red from have caught the brunt of Kouji's lash earlier.

I shrug in response. It doesn't hurt, though that's probably not a good thing.

Then, because I need to get it out and I can't say it to Sakura or Toya right now, and for all my dislike of Clow, I can trust him, I say, "I should have been tied to that post."

"It wasn't your—"

"Don't say that," I reply, cutting him off. "I should have. I shot that bird. Toya didn't want me to have to rush back and took it for me so it wouldn't go to waste. So, yes. It was my fault."

If I had taken that bird back, Toya wouldn't be hurt, Sakura wouldn't have stepped in to protect him because I wasn't there to do anything. If I had taken that bird back, being a victor, I probably would have been able to get out of being whipped and made to pay some hefty fine instead.

Clow laughs. "Sakura's right about you."

That makes me look at him. "What did she say?"

"That you care too much. That's what she said when you yelled at her back in District Seven. How hard it must be for a person like you who has an instinctive need to protect others, to live in a world where your hands are constantly tied," Clow says.

"Who told you?" I ask knowingly.

"Told me what?"

"That I want to run away," I say because there's no chance the Capitol is watching us here.

"Sakura came by earlier after she came back from you all's hike, before she and Yukito went into town."

"Figures," I say, not at all surprised. Clow and Sakura are always conspiring against me, but I don't blame them. I can be difficult for one person to handle, not that I'd admit that to them.

"Come on," Clow says nodding back into the house. "Let's let Kameha have a look at that."

I wordlessly follow him back into the house. Kameha takes a look at my hand, puts some kind of antibiotic salve on it to keep it from getting infected it, wraps it and then sends me on my way. As soon as she's done, Yukito, having left again, comes back with a small damp cardboard box. He hands them to Kameha, and says, "Use these for Toya. They're my mother's, but she said I could take them."

Kameha fills a syringe with the clear liquid and shoots it into Toya's arm. Toya, who's been groaning from the pain before instantly quiets.

"What's that?" Sakura asks.

"Morphling," I reply before Kameha can. "It's from the Capitol."

Yukito then leaves again, because there's not enough room in Kameha's house—and I use that term loosely compared to what the Capitol has provided us with after winning the Magic Games—for all of us to wait. Even Clow will be leaving soon. Kameha tried to insist that Sakura and I do the same, but one look from both Sakura and me let her know that we have no intention of leaving Toya's side tonight. Once she understands that, she and her daughter offer to fix us dinner. Sakura and I decline at the same time, knowing full well that the woman probably has barely enough means to feed herself and her daughter, though no doubt they are better off than most since she's the only healer in the community. Kameha insists though.

"You're no help to your friend if you don't take care of yourself," she says as her daughter serves us stew and bread.

Sitting in the small cramped kitchen with the stew and bread reminds me of simpler times, back before the Magic Games, where Sakura, Toya, and I would cram into the kitchen with stew and bread just like this and mock whatever Capitol propaganda was on the television they provided for us in the evening. As difficult as it was, I wish we could go back to those times. At least then we only had to worry about starving to death.

Neither Sakura nor I go to sleep, both content to sit silently in old chairs in Kameha's kitchen while watching over Toya. Finally, an hour or so before dawn, Sakura speaks.

"Sorry," she says.

"For what?" I ask.

"Yesterday," Sakura says. Then adds, "This whole week. I was being a brat. An immature brat at that."

I'm not going to dispute that, because the thought has crossed my mind more than once since the end of the Harvest Festival about both her and Toya's behavior.

"We have… There are more important things to worry about," she says. "And I'm sorry for being so mad at you that I didn't want to listen to you."

"Don't worry about it."

"Who knows?" Sakura says. "Maybe we managed to do something on that tour."

It's in Sakura's nature to be hopeful, even in the face of despair. But even she's not blind. Despite the hope in her tone, I can also tell that part of her is afraid that whatever it was we managed during the Victory Tour wasn't good. I decide to fully enlighten her.

"We managed something alright," I say. "We managed to incite an uprising in District Eight."

"Where'd you find that out?" Sakura asks, sounding unsurprised. I don't like it. For years now I've been telling Sakura to grow up and face reality and now that she's starting to, I wish she wouldn't.

"Yukito's house. It was on the television in his dad's study."

Sakura doesn't even ask what I was doing in there.

"Is that why you wanted to run away?" she asks.

I sigh. There's no point trying to hide my reasoning from her. She knows me a lot better than she lets on, and she'll probably figure it out without me telling her.

"You said it in the Capitol. The star that lights the way and the guardian that protects her light. That's what the districts see when they look at us. I thought maybe if we ran away, we could do ourselves, the districts, and the president a favor," I reply. "We get out of Magea, the districts think we've abandoned them, and with no one to look to they stop their rebellion just like the President wants. And if we did that, maybe the President would let us be to live outside of Magea without coming to look for us."

"Or he drags us back to Magea with proof that we've run off, and has us executed in front of the districts to prove what cowards we are, and he still gets what he wants," Sakura replies.

I scowl. "I'm supposed to be the cynic."

Sakura laughs.

"Guess it is a best case scenario plan though," I agree. "But I wonder if it would be better for everyone to feel abandoned than be disappointed. I can barely keep you safe."

"Admittedly, I make that difficult for you," Sakura jokes. Then she states solemnly, "You're scared."

That may be true, but I'll never admit to it. What kind of protector would I be if I did?

"That's why you wanted to run away. Somewhere in that warped mind of yours you figured everyone—us, the districts, Magea—would be safer if we ran off like none of this happened. Safe to starve, safe to be reaped into the Magic Games sure, but at least not potentially dying in vain."

Even though Sakura has apologized for her behavior this week, I know she's still angry at me. She's only this blunt and insulting when she's angry.

A laugh catches our attention.

"Looks like someone's still mad at you," Toya says groggily, still under the influence of the morphling.

"How long have you been awake?" I ask.

"Long enough," Toya says and then looks like he's trying to look around.

"What are you doing?" Sakura asks standing up. "Do you need more of the morphling?"

"No," Toya groans and stops trying to move. Then he says, "She wants to come in."

Sakura and I exchange a glance. Obviously the morphling is getting to his head.

"Who wants to come in?" Sakura asks.

"Her," he says as though we should know. "Can't you sense her outside?"

Sense? As soon as he says this, my senses alert me to a presence outside, one that I recognize. It's that spirit from earlier, but she doesn't feel like a spirit. She feels human, which is why I didn't recognize her for a spirit earlier. Obviously, Toya has a degree of magic too if he can sense her.

I open the back door and the shapeshifter, again disguised as Sakura, immediately comes in. For this, I'm glad because the snow that was falling earlier has now turned into a full blown blizzard.

After Sakura's doppelganger shakes the snow off of her, she stands in the doorway looking with worried green eyes at Toya. If Sakura is discomforted by the fact that someone (more precisely something) who looks just like her is in the room, she doesn't show it.

"What did I tell you about doing that?" Toya gently chides. "It's suspicious."

I take Toya to mean the spirit's insistence on taking Sakura's form.

The spirit blushes and then in a glow of light, the spirit takes on her true form: a young slender girl with pale green eyes; sea-green hair with two stranding that frame her face and curl into spirals at the tips; three triangular mirror shards in her forehead; and what appear to be mirror shards coming out the back of either side of her head like some elaborate headdress. She's wearing a billowing white style of dress that I've only seen people in the Capitol wear called a kimono, and it obscures her hands and feet. In her hands, she's clinging tightly to a small mirror, the grip on it which gives away her concern for Toya.

"That's… less suspicious," Toya gives with a small smile weakly gesturing for the spirit to come to his side.

The spirit does so tentatively, and upon seeing Toya give her one more weak smile before succumbing to the morphling again, her countenance brightens and she smiles as she presses a kiss on Toya's cheek. Then she backs away to stand in the corner of the room near the backdoor, content to watch him.

* * *

**AN:** Yay! Another chapter! More tension, more revelations, more magic and… well, the next chapter was another I enjoyed writing a lot. But you'll see. I can't say much of anything without risking spoiler. So until next time.

Remember I ask for **at least** **2 review before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two.

Remember, reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


	9. Chapter 9

**9**

I wake up from my slumber with a sharp gasp. Instinctively, I make a quick survey of my surroundings, not recognizing where I am. My eyes settle on Toya, lying on Kameha's kitchen table, the spirit silently watching us from the corner of the room, and the events of the previous day come back me. Light is just peeking over the horizon, so I know I can't have been asleep for long.

Then I glance over to where I know Sakura was sitting before I fell asleep. When I see she's absent, panic grips me. Calmly, I stand to my feet and search the house for her. I don't have to go far to find her. She's in the living room, lying on the old dingy couch under a knitted blanket, but seeing her isn't enough. I need to touch her, to make sure she's breathing, to make sure she's not dead.

As I do so, images from my nightmares fleet through my mind. The older Sakura looking at me and the beastly Cerberus with worried eyes because a bad situation has gotten so much worse. Us in the middle of a city coming to ruins with her clutching a long pink staff with a gold star encased in a circle with wings. Cerberus telling us to get away or more specifically for me to take the older Sakura and hide somewhere far away from the war and disaster going on around us. Her limp body, still warm with life, but certainly dead in my arms.

"Yue," Sakura mutters cracking her eyes open some. "Did you have a nightmare?"

"I'm fine," I reply coolly. "Go back to sleep."

Thankfully, Sakura does so without argument.

Still feeling the panic and dismay that still lingers from my nightmares, I decide to sit in front of the sofa, prop up a knee, bury my face in my leg and arm, and then proceed to go back to sleep.

The next time I awake, it's not by my own accord. It's Kameha shaking me awake.

"That's not comfortable," she says in her trademark clinical knowing tone. "You can have my bed. I'm up now."

I glance back at Sakura and then shake my head.

"She'll be fine right where she is. Now come on," Kameha insists.

Though I do get up, it's not to take Kameha's bed. Instead, I follow her to the kitchen where she checks on Toya. If she's noticed the spirit sitting silently in the corner of her kitchen, the woman says nothing about it.

Kameha clucks her tongue after a while. At first, I think it's at Toya's back, but when she looks up at me with her lips pressed firmly together in some sort of disapproval, I realize it's at me.

"Always more concerned about everyone else to the detriment of yourself," she says.

I start to tell her that she doesn't know me well enough to know that, but she continues.

"Don't try to deny it. I don't say much, but I watch everything, especially peculiar things. And you, young man, are very peculiar."

Curiosity now getting the better of me, I sit back expectantly to hear what the woman has to say.

"I remember you came to my door almost four years ago with Sakura on your back and sick with fever. What you didn't tell anyone was that you were sick too," Kameha recalls. "You had a very bad cough, and I offered you some syrup in some tea to help soothe it, but you wouldn't take it because you wanted to make sure that girl got better first."

I can remember this occasion as vividly as Kameha can, and I was sick. Not as sick as Sakura was, but sick nonetheless. But as I recall, I told her I wasn't sick and didn't need it. When I tell her this, she huffs and says wryly, "That's what you said. But I knew better. I've been a healer most of my life. I know a sick person when I see one."

Then she says, "You might not have been smitten with her back then, but I knew that you adored her even if you would never show it. I use to watch you two all the time and knew it was just a matter of time before some unscrupulous things started happening between you two, especially after Fujitaka died, and there were some blonde haired green-eyed children running around here."

Her comment doesn't fluster me because this is Kameha. She's always been one to speak whatever is on her mind when she decides to talk. Instead I huff at her and say, "I'm glad to know you give me so little credit."

"Wasn't you I was betting on. It was the girl," Kameha says bluntly.

"Sakura?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows.

"It's always the innocent ones that surprise you, Yue. That girl has you wrapped around her finger. Don't think you're so above any shady shenanigans that you wouldn't have eventually fallen victim to her charm and wiles. You'd follow that girl to hell, no questions asked," Kameha declares. "So everyone else might have been shocked when you volunteered to go into the Magic Games with her. But I knew. I knew as soon as Sonomi Daidouji read 'Sakura Kinomoto' off that slip you were following. Because what else would you do?"

That's always been the question for me. What else would I do if I didn't have Sakura? What else would there be for me? What other options did I have? For once I let myself think about a what-if scenario. What if Sakura had never been reaped into the Magic Games and I had never followed her? What if she never had to participate in the Magic Games? As far as I know, the only crush Sakura ever had was on Yukito and that went away a long time ago. And I learned in the Magic Games that I've been the object of Sakura's desire for a while now. She's never been particularly close with anyone either. Never had any close friends. If she did, they've died of sickness or hunger, or were too busy trying to survive, something Sakura's never had to worry about with Toya and I taking care of her, and the town girls thought they were too high and mighty to associate with her.

Like Sakura, I don't have friends outside of Toya and Yukito (and I use friend loosely with him). I'm a natural loner and when Toya was working, Sakura, as indifferent as I was to her, was the only other companion I had, the only other constant. In a world where we're eventually expected to settle down with someone, who else would I have done it with besides Sakura? Certainly not with any of the other girls I knew from school and couldn't tolerate for five minutes without getting a headache. Even if I did, would that person have been able to understand my strange affinity for Sakura? An affinity I've learned goes beyond the magical potential we both share? I doubt it.

And as offended as I was by Kameha's insinuation earlier, the practical part of me can't deny that if Sakura continued to be as attracted to me as she has admitted she is now, once she got over her embarrassment and set her mind to it, she would have put her charm to good use. And without the Magic Games, without the Capitol interference, without the fear that it wasn't real, would I have denied her? The obvious answer, while surprising, isn't all too… displeasing to me.

Now that I really think about it, why was I shocked that Sakura was willing to throw caution to the wind and commit suicide before she left the Magic Game arena without me?

To think for the last few months I've been convinced that this new dynamic in Sakura's and my relationship has been contrived and artificially made by the Capitol, and that we're just as caught up in the fantasy of it. But could it be possible that it was going to happen anyway? Did the Magic Games just push something along that was already happening and I simply never noticed?

Kameha is certainly convinced. But even after playing the hypothetical scenario out in my head, I'm not sure.

Somehow, I still feel like a pawn in a game. Like I'm part of some larger picture, some larger story and no matter what the outcome, destiny has already determined my fate. Speaking of destiny, the more I have those dreams, the more I'm convinced they're the result of something more than just my subconscious and worry. Though I don't want to, I need more help on this than I can possibly give myself. I need to talk to someone, and unfortunately, a nagging persistent voice at the back of my head continues to whisper that it needs to be Clow.

Unfortunately, the blizzard persists for two more days, leaving Sakura and I stranded at Kameha's house. The woman doesn't seem to mind though, especially since Sakura and I are willing to pitch in and help with the chores she's behind in after tending to Toya constantly. There's not much we can do with all the snow, even after the snow stops. It takes another day to clear the paths to town and Victor Village. It would have taken a lot longer for our old neighborhood to clear the snow if not for Sakura and I using magic to speed things along. And Sakura and I could have managed it a lot quicker if some of the inhabitants hadn't initially protested our help in the first place, even after we (and by that I mean Sakura) tried to explain that since we're victors, we won't get in trouble for using limited magic like this.

Once the paths are clear, Kameha sends Sakura and me home to clean up and get some rest. We don't argue with her, though I do drop a handful of coins in her hands for her troubles to which she gives half of them back because it's too much. Then we make our way to Victor Village. As we do so, we pass through the square, which has changed considerably in three days considering a blizzard blew through for two of them.

A huge banner with the seal of Magea hangs off the roof of the Justice Building. Peacekeepers, in pristine white uniforms, march on the cleanly swept cobblestones. Along the rooftops, more of them occupy nests of machine guns. Most unnerving is a line of new constructions —an official whipping post, several stockades, and a gallows — set up in the center of the square.

When we first bought Toya to Kameha, I overhead Clow telling the woman how it looked like things were going back to the old days. I wasn't even born back then, let alone in the district, but I could only take that to mean it was a bad thing. I just didn't know how bad.

Sakura and I quickly pass through town and get to our house in Victor Village where we both take a shower, put on some new clothes, and have breakfast since we haven't eaten in a few days. The swelling on Sakura's face has also gone down considerably, leaving her with a cut and a black eye. Though Kameha gave her some herbal remedy to mix with snow to help it heal faster, the cut still stings. Between her wound and the lack of sleep, Sakura is exhausted and decides to take a nap. While she does this, I decide it's time to talk to Clow.

He's not home when I arrive, so I let myself in to wait on him rather than stand out in the cold.

I've never been in Clow's house, but it's like everything I imagined from Sakura's limited descriptions of it. Unsurprisingly, there are books everywhere. Some of them are in subjects I've never heard of, and some are in languages like the characters on Sakura's two cards. Some of them are in languages I've never even seen before, which makes me wonder how vast and antique Clow's collection is. There's dust everywhere, like it hasn't been cleaned in years, even in the kitchen and it makes me wonder if the only time Clow eats is when Sakura invites him over for dinner. No wonder I've heard him referred to as a crazy old hermit. This certainly proves it.

"Well your presence here is certainly unexpected, but not altogether unwelcome."

Clow's sudden arrival startles me, causing me to fall over a stack of dusty books and into a bookshelf where more dusty books fall on top of me. I cough at the disturbed dust as I try to gain a footing in the mess. Clow offers me a hand and pulls me to my feet.

"Thanks," I mutter as I dust myself off.

"Sorry about that," Clow says though he looks anything but sorry. He looks more amused.

"Right," I say. As I look around for a place to stand where I won't risk tripping over another stack of books or having books falling on top of me, I ask, "Where did you get all this?"

Clow shrugs. "Oh. Here and there."

That's a polite way of saying he's not telling me. Not that it matters. I didn't come here to investigate his book collection, though it proves what I've started to suspect. Clow knows a lot more than he tells.

Not wanting to waste any more time than I already have, I cut to the chase.

"What else do you know about the legend of the star mistress?" I ask bluntly.

If Clow is surprised by my question, he doesn't show it. Instead he clears a spot on the counter in the kitchen and asks, "Coffee? I prefer tea personally, but I think I remember how to make it."

"Stop avoiding the question," I say bluntly.

Clow gives me a look over the top of his glasses and says, "I'm not."

"Then answer it."

"The question is do you really want to know?"

"Is it bad?"

"Not necessarily."

I roll my eyes and ball my fist on the counter, trying to stop a twitch in left eye.

"Clow!"

Clow sighs and says, "I know as much about the legend as you do, Yue."

I start to groan in frustration that I'm back to square one. Then I realize Clow is purposely being cryptic to gauge what I know or what I think I know.

"But you know about the real story behind the legend," I state, because there's no question that Clow knows something. "Was there really a star sorceress? And did she have a sun and moon guardian?"

"Let's just say that the legend fairly condenses the full story."

"What's the full story?" I demand.

"Why are you so keen on knowing it? I was under the impression you thought it was just a silly legend."

I pause. Clow's got me there. I did say that, and now he wants to know why I'm suddenly so interested in it. I narrow my eyes at him. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know I can trust Clow. But something in my being just doesn't want to, just wants to be difficult with him. But if I want to know what Clow knows, I'll have to cooperate.

"Is it safe?" I ask.

"Is what safe?"

I let my eyes scan the room in response. Catching my meaning, Clow smiles and says, "I wouldn't have let you start talking about this if it weren't."

With that said, I start with the fleeting dreams in the Magic Games, the spirits that seemed to always find us and that have followed us out the games, the house that Clow and I talked in after the Magic Games, the same house that Sakura's been dreaming of with me and Kero as a wild beast and those spirits, and my most recent nightmares, of the world going to hell and the three of us, but particularly Sakura, getting caught up in the aftermath. At first, everything seemed so coincidental, but when put together even I can't ignore that something is going on.

"And what does Sakura think of this?" Clow asks.

"Nothing. I haven't told her."

Clow nods. "And what do you think?"

I don't answer immediately. The answer has been nagging me at the back of my head I don't want to admit to it because admitting to it would mean that I'm not as in control of my life as I like to think I am, that destiny plays a greater part in this and no matter what I do my fate is set.

"I think there might be something to the reincarnation of the star mistress and her guardians."

Clow looks at me for a long time. The house is so silent I can clearly hear the tick of the second hand on the clock on the wall. Then he stands.

"Alright then."

"Alright…?"

"Alright," he says a little firmer and I get his meaning. The discussion is over.

I set my cool gaze on him, ready to challenge him on that, but then Clow says, "Do you want to keep Sakura safe?"

I nod my head. Of course I do.

"Then, alright," he says.

While Clow obviously isn't going to tell me anything, something about the way he's responded, or rather his lack of response, tells me that I have enough information to figure out this puzzle.

As I leave though, one question nags me. With my hand on the doorknob to the front door, I say, "Clow."

"Yes, Yue."

I'm almost embarrassed to ask this, but I have to know.

"Were they lovers?"

"No," Clow says immediately, but I can tell he isn't lying.

I open the door and then look back at Clow.

"Did she want them to be?"

Clow shrugs. "I think part of her wouldn't have minded in the end."

I nod and make my exit.

* * *

**AN:** So this chapter brings us and Yue closer to some things. I know you all are wondering how I'm going to bring more Magic and the past lives and what their past lives were into this, but you'll just have to wait an see. So until next time, enjoy.

Remember I ask for **at least** **2 review before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two.

Remember, reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


	10. Chapter 10

**10**

In only a matter of days, the situation in District Twelve goes from bad to worse.

The mines are closed for two weeks, and half the district is starving because of food shortages. Even people with money leave the town stores with nothing. When the mines finally reopen, Yukito tells me wages have been drastically cut, the hours have been extended, and miners are sent into much more dangerous work sites. When Parcel Day comes, the promised food delivered to the district for a year because of Sakura and I winning the games is spoiled and infested with rodents.

If that weren't bad enough, Kouji puts the new torture and punishment installations in the square to good use. Many people are dragged into the square and punished for offenses so long overlooked we'd forgotten they were illegal. As a result, I forbid Sakura from going into town by herself, much to her agitation. But better safe than sorry because I'm not sure the fact that she's a victor will get her out of trouble if she happens to do something in front of the wrong peacekeeper. Not even I will risk going into town very often.

When I do go into town, no one talks to me. No one talked to me much before, but they don't even acknowledge my existence now. The only one who will associate with me is Kameha. With nothing better to do, even after Toya was sent home, Sakura and I have taken to assisting her. With so many being punished, Kameha has no shortage of patients. Sakura and I do our best to help Kameha keep her supplies stocked, but even for us that becomes difficult. Soon all Kameha will have to help her patients is snow.

Then one morning, a crate arrives from the Capitol full of Tomoyo's design for her new fashion line for teens. I think they're for Sakura since she's the one that agreed to model, but a note from Sonomi accompanying the crate says that President Wang has personally requested that I assist her since his granddaughter is so fond of me.

As soon as I read it, I wordlessly set the note on the table, pull on some boots, put on a jacket, and make my way to the woods.

Needless to say, going to the woods is strictly forbidden. It was forbidden before, but back then we didn't get whipped for it. Still, it's the only place I can go to release some of my frustration, even as tainted as the calm serenity of the woods is now after the Magic Games.

After I listen for the hum of the electric fence, cross it, and make sure to cover my tracks, I wonder what the president thinks he can gain from all this, parading his star-crossed lovers in front of the districts when it's obvious there's nothing Sakura and I can do to stop what's happening. On the way into the woods, I retrieve my bow and arrows and head for the lake since this is probably the last time I'll be able to risk coming out here again.

I'm so lost in my own thoughts I miss the footprints in the ground. But as I come closer to the lake, the unmistakable smell of a burning fire invades my senses. And when I come up upon the house, I see a thin stream of smoke coming from the chimney. I'm a few yards from the door, bow and arrow at the ready, when I hear a click of a gun behind me. I turn on my feet and raise my bow and arrow.

Upon seeing the white peacekeeper uniform, I narrow my eyes, ready to do what's necessary to get out of the woods alive, especially if this peacekeeper is alone. What's a peacekeeper's life when I've killed innocent people before?

To my surprise, even as my arrow is pointed at the woman's dark brown eye, the peacekeeper drops the gun.

"Stop!" she cries, holding out one of her hands.

I mentally waver, though my arrow is steady. Why would a peacekeeper drop their gun on me, especially after watching the Magic Games last summer? Even against a peacekeeper with their gun, the odds are more than in my favor. So I glance down at the woman's hand. She's holding a flat cracker like piece of bread in her hand. It's gray and soggy around the edges, but the image in the center is clear.

The seal of the moon guardian.

My senses tell me she means no harm, that this symbol means this woman means me no harm. I still don't lower my bow. I want to hear it out her mouth.

"What does it mean?"

"It means we're on your side," another female voice says from behind me.

She must have been in the house, which is why I didn't see her when I came up. I figure she's not going to shoot me. Not just because the sound of the gun clicking would make me release my arrow on her friend, but because she could have shot me before she blew the advantage she had over me because I didn't know she was there.

Therefore I turn sideways and back away so I can get both in view. The other on female, a girl around my age is also wearing an oversized peacekeeper uniform with a white fur cloak. There's no weapon in her hand, but she is using a broken branch as a crutch. She drags herself and her injured right leg closer to the older woman as I continue to observe them and then I decide.

These two are no peacekeepers.

"Who are you?" I ask, lowering my bow and arrow, but keeping it ready anyway. If there's one thing the Magic Games taught me, it's that I can't be too careful.

"I'm Leung," the middle aged woman says and then points to the girl. "This is Amoy! We're from District Eight!"

I lower my bow completely now. They've run away because of the uprisings. I'm not volunteering to them that I know that though, at least not until they tell me themselves. These really could still be peacekeepers sent to play on the fact that Chiharu was from District Eight.

"Where'd you get the uniforms?"

"I stole them," Amoy admits, "from the factory. It's so big because it was for someone else."

"The gun is from a dead peacekeeper," Leung adds before I can ask.

I've don't enough pretending in the last few months to know that these two aren't acting and lower my bow completely now, eyes now trained on the hand of Leung's that's still holding the bread.

"Why is that seal on the bread?"

I don't know, but part of me suspects because President Wang warned Sakura about it, because Sakura admitted that she's very aware of what it means to the districts. The light that shines the way and the guardian who protects the light.

"Don't you know, Yue," Amoy asks and I'm not surprised she recognizes me. Who else would be with my long pale hair and holding an arrow at them?

"It's the seal on my earring," I reply as though oblivious to its more subtle meaning.

"He doesn't know," Leung says. "Maybe not about any of it."

"I know about the uprisings," I finally admit.

"Yes!" Leung says, suddenly appearing hopeful. "That's why we had to get out!"

"Now what?" I ask.

"Now what?" Amoy asks.

"What will you do now that you're out?" I elaborate.

"We're going to District Thirteen," Leung says.

"District Thirteen," I state, not adding that it's a pointless venture since the Capitol bombed it seventy-five years ago. Rather than say that though, I look at Amoy's leg.

Seeing where I'm looking, the girl says, "The boots are too big and I twisted my ankle."

"Give me your gun," I say to Leung.

She unhesitatingly picks it up off the ground and hands it over. I unstring my arrow and put it back in my quiver and then wordlessly lead the two into the house. Amoy practically falls onto the floor next to the fire, her leg probably about ready to give out on her anyway. Leung sits next to her, grabbing the girl's hands in her own, trying to use her own body heat to warm the girl in addition to holding them by the fire. The fire is already going and sitting in the ashes is a tin gallon can torn in half with pine needles and steaming water.

"We saw someone do it on the Magic Games a few years back," Amoy says through her shivering when she sees me looking at it. "We're not really sure what it is though."

Chiharu told me about District Eight in the Magic Games, how it was an ugly urban place stinking of industrial fumes, the people housed in run-down tenements, and magic almost as rare there as it is in District Twelve. I didn't realize how true her description was and how much worse it was then I imagined until I went there. Barely a blade of grass in sight. No opportunity to ever learn the ways of nature and nowhere to try to practice magic without the watchful eyes of peacekeepers. It's a miracle these two have made it this far, though they don't look like they'll make it much further, especially not Amoy. She looks malnourished enough as it is, and being hungry and injured is a fatal combination. I have firsthand experience with that.

"We took what food we could before we ran, but it's been so scarce. We ran out a while back," Leung adds.

This is the second or third time the two have attempted to fill the silence, and I begin to realize that I might be intimidating them by my quiet observation of them. I decide to put them at ease as much as I can.

I drop my bag and reveal the food that I stuffed in my bag. Though Sakura probably suspected where I was going and won't say anything if asked, I purposely wanted to give her an excuse to throw Toya and Clow or even a peacekeeper off if they ask where I disappeared to in order to buy some time. They can assume I took whatever we had in surplus of food to Kameha for her, her daughter, and the patients she has every day, even though Sakura and I took some things to her just yesterday.

Wordlessly, I take out two buns of bread and sit on the floor with them. Then I hand them both a piece bread.

Amoy looks at the offered bread in awe.

"The whole thing?" she asks.

I barely nod before she snatches the bread out my hand and begins to eat. When Amoy nearly chokes herself, I mutter that it's better to chew, but after who knows how long of starving the girl can hardly stop herself. When their tea is done, Leung give me two tin cups to pour them some into. Once they're done with the bread, I tell them I'll give them more once I'm sure their bodies can handle it.

Then I say, "Tell me everything."

The two do so without hesitation.

Since Sakura's and my Magic Games, the discontent in District 8 had been growing. It was always there to some degree, but what differed was that talk was no longer sufficient, and the idea of taking action went from a wistful thinking to a reality. The textile factories that service Magea are loud with machinery, and the din allowed word to pass safely, a pair of lips close to an ear, words unnoticed, unchecked. Leung taught at school, Amoy was one of her pupils, and when the final bell had rung, both of them spent a four-hour shift at the factory that specialized in the Peacekeeper uniforms. It took months for Amoy, who worked in the inspection dock, to secure the two uniforms, a boot here, a pair of pants there. They were intended for Leung and her husband because once the uprisings began it would be crucial to get word of it out beyond District 8 if it were to spread and be successful.

The day Sakura and I made our Victory Tour appearance was actually a rehearsal. People in the crowd positioned themselves according to their teams, next to the buildings they would target when the rebellion broke out. The plan was to take over the centers of power in the city like the Justice Building, the Peacekeepers' Headquarters, and the Communication Center in the square. And at other locations in the district: the railroad, the granary, the power station, and the armory.

Our Victory Tour interview with Makato Fukui, while Sakura was gushing over a promise ring I supposedly gave her, was the perfect cover. The interview was mandatory viewing and gave the people of District 8 a reason to be out on the streets after dark, gathering either in the square or in various community centers around the city to watch. Ordinarily such activity would have been too suspicious. Instead everyone was in place by the appointed hour, eight o'clock, when the seal of the moon guardian when up in the sky, masks were put on, and all hell broke loose.

Taken by surprise and overwhelmed by the numbers, the Peacekeepers were initially overcome by the crowds. The Communication Center, the granary, and the power station were all secured. As the Peacekeepers fell, weapons were appropriated for the rebels. There was hope that this had not been an act of madness, that if they could get the word out to other districts, an actual overthrow of the government in the Capitol might be possible.

But then peacekeepers began to arrive by the thousands. Hovercrafts bombed the rebel strongholds into ashes. In the chaos that followed, all anyone could do was make it back to their homes alive. It took less than forty-eight hours to subdue the city. Then, for a week, there was a lockdown. No food, no coal, everyone forbidden to leave their homes. The only time the television showed anything but static was when the suspected instigators were hanged in the square. Then one night, as the whole district was on the brink of starvation, came the order to return to business as usual.

That meant school for Leung and Amoy. A street made impassable by the bombs caused them to be late for their factory shift, so they were still a hundred yards away when it exploded, killing everyone inside — including Leung's husband and Amoy's entire family.

"Someone must have told the Capitol that the idea for the uprising had started there," Leung tells me faintly.

The two fled back to Leung's, got the peacekeeper suits, gathered what provisions they could, stealing freely from neighbors they now knew to be dead, and made it to the railroad station. In a warehouse near the tracks, they changed into the Peacekeeper outfits and, disguised, were able to make it onto a boxcar full of fabric on a train headed to District 6. They fled the train at a fuel stop along the way and traveled on foot. Concealed by woods, but using the tracks for guidance, they made it to the outskirts of District 12 two days ago, where they were forced to stop when Amoy twisted her ankle.

"Did anyone follow you?" I ask first.

Leung shakes her head and says, "They think we're dead."

"What are you hoping to find at District Thirteen?" I then ask, not at all condescending and admittedly genuinely curious. I can't be condescending if I wanted to. If Sakura and Toya had agreed to run away, my plan was to head in that direction.

"We don't know," Leung admits.

I don't want them to be disappointed when they get there, so I try to remind them that nothing's there except rubble.

"We've all seen the footage," I add.

"That's just it!" Leung says. "They've been using the same footage of District Thirteen since anyone can remember."

I furrow my eyebrows at this and taking this as a sign to go on, Leung adds, "You know how they always show the Justice Building? If you look very carefully, you'll see it. Up in the far right-hand corner."

"See what?" I ask.

"A bird. Not sure what bird exactly, but a glimpse of the exact same bird as it flies by. Every time," Leung emphasizes.

"Back home, we think they keep reusing the old footage because the Capitol can't show what's really there now," says Amoy.

I can't help my condescending tone as I say, "And you're going to District Thirteen based on that? What do you expect, a bustling city with people strolling around and the Capitol doesn't mind?"

"No," Leung says, unfazed. "We think the people moved underground when everything on the surface was destroyed. We think they've managed to survive. And we think the Capitol leaves them alone because, before the Dark Days, District Thirteen's principal industry was nuclear development."

"They were graphite miners," I say, but even as I do something feels wrong about it.

"They had a few small mines, but not enough to justify a population of that size. That, I guess, is the only thing we know for sure," says Leung.

Any other person would immediately latch onto this, the hope that there might be somewhere beyond Magea's reach. But the natural cynic that I am causes me to reject the idea. In fact, the idea angers me.

"Then why haven't they helped us?" I ask. "Almost everyone starves to death, people are killed for no reason, and the Capitol is already gearing up for the next Magic Games. What are they waiting on?"

"We don't know," Amoy whispers. "Right now, we're just holding on to the hope that they exist."

All their family and friends are dead and they had to flee the only home they didn't want to be caught and killed too. Of course they'd cling to the hope that there's help somewhere. And who am I to crush it?

Finally, I sigh and say, "Give me your leg."

That said, I begin to help Amoy brace her ankle. When that's done, I transfer all the food in my pack into Leung's bag. Then I take her out and explain to her how to hunt since her gun can convert solar power to deadly rays. When she shoots her first rabbit, the things is practically charred, but it's better than nothing. I show her how to skin and clean it. She'll get the hang of it. Once that's done, to both Leung's and Amoy's amazement, I use a combination of snow and magic to fashion a more efficient crutch for Amoy. While doing all this, they ask for details about the situation in District Twelve, apparently thinking this might be important if there really is something in District Thirteen. Though I'm cynical about the entire thing, part of me wishes I could go with them. But I can't leave Sakura and Toya here.

When it's late in the afternoon, I have to leave. When I tell them as much, the two almost tackle me to the ground as they embrace and thank me.

"I can't believe we got to meet you," Amoy says after she briefly laments not being able to meet Sakura. "You're all anyone has been talking about since—"

"I volunteered for the Magic Games," I reply tiredly. The Capitol hardly lets me forget it.

I let my feet guide me as I trek back through the woods towards District Twelve even as it begins to snow again, the frustration I put aside earlier in favor of helping Leung and Amoy coming back to me. President Wang has obviously played Sakura and me. Nothing can quell this. Not a romance. Not a wedding. Not whatever else the Capitol intends us to do for the rest of our lives to keep up this charade. Sakura's and my willingness to die for each other might have been just a spark, but we had no way to control the fire that resulted.

And yet I have to wonder, if President Wang has been lying to us about quelling the rebellion, then why can't he be lying to us about District Thirteen? Why couldn't the people be living underground, unable to be touched by the Capitol somehow? And if they have weapons, why haven't they helped us? What are they waiting for?

Suddenly the answer to my questions come to me. Of course, it's all dependent on if District Thirteen exists, but I know what it's like to want to save something, to want to protect something, but not being able to because what you want to save is the very thing in the way. It's extremely difficult, close to impossible, to protect or save someone or something that doesn't want to be protected. I know. Because every time Sakura has refused my protection, there's nothing for me to do except adjust and wait for her want me to. Case in point: running away from District Twelve. The Districts are the same way. They rather live in fear of the Capitol with a slim chance of survival than rebel and risk total obliteration like District Thirteen, or so the story goes. But when Sakura and I were willing to risk our lives to save each other and came out alive, when it looked like we got our happily ever after… We gave the Districts the same thing Sakura says President Wang told her she gave me. A cause. Something bigger than themselves.

Something to die for.

And if I didn't know it before, I know now that things are about to get much worse.

I put my bow and arrows away on a hollow log and then begin to make my way toward the fence. I start to make my way into the meadow when the screech of an owl catches my attention and snaps me out my thoughts, just in time for me to become aware of the fact that the fence is humming with electricity.

* * *

**AN:** One of the questions I always ask myself when writing this story is "What would Yue do as opposed to Katniss?" And I really had to ask myself this question in this chapter, because while Yue somewhat plays Katniss' role, on the other hand he doesn't. They both have very different motives, motives that for Yue aren't really separate from each other like Katniss' were. So while it's not totally overt, how Yue reacts to this as compared to Katniss (and the differences are subtle) has a very very different effect on the rest of the story. Differences I can't wait for you to read.

Remember I ask for **at least** **2 review before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two.

Remember, reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


	11. Chapter 11

**11**

It's not the first time I've been trapped outside the district by the fence when it turns back on. Most occasions, Sakura is with me and we just wait for the electricity to turn off like it always eventually does. If we were running late, Toya would simply come by and check the fence to make sure. When it's me by myself, usually early in the morning after I've snuck out the house at night, Sakura comes to check instead.

The problem is that this time I purposely misled everyone into thinking I was going to help Kameha today and Sakura probably won't come by the fence until later to check so as not to blow my cover.

Then it occurs to me that it's a little too coincidental that the fence turned back on the very same day I decide to go to the woods. The Capitol seems to have eyes and ears everywhere. It would explain how President Wang knew about Toya kissing me out here on my birthday. Someone may have seen me come out here and reported me to the authorities, who are waiting to arrest me. But I didn't see anyone else around. Then something else occurs to me. Could the Capitol have cameras out here watching? That would be more plausible and more likely than someone managing to follow me without me sensing it. There were cameras everywhere in the Magic Games. High in the trees, the rocks, the most unexpected of places.

My heart begins to race in panic at the thought, but then I remember that being watched is the least of my concerns right now and force myself to calm down. First things first, I've got to get back into the fence, after that I'll worry about if anyone knows I've been out here and if they even suspect, I'll just pretend I never left. I've gotten good at that lately.

I have a few options available to me. The first and most obvious would be to use Magic, but that's certainly going to draw some attention, especially since I'm liable to destroy the entire fence in the process. I quickly decide against that option. Trying to burrow under the fence would draw too much attention and the ground is frozen solid anyway, unless I want to use magic but I've already counted that out. That leaves me to find a way to get over it. I start to walk the along the fence to the part where the tree line gets closest to the fence. Then I walk another mile or so before finding a tree with a long branch that extends over the fence.

It has no low hanging branches and the trunk is too wide, so I have to climb another tree and then jump into the tall tree to reach my chosen branch. Then I slowly make my way out on the limb that hangs over the fence. I've never been afraid of heights. In fact, I'm most comfortable in trees, but there's a reason I would usually just wait for the electricity to turn off. Getting over the fence means getting at least twenty-feet high. My branch is at least twenty-five feet high. That's a dangerously long drop for anyone. But I've got no other choice right now. With things the way they are in the District, I can't afford to wait for the fence to turn off or risk someone finding me. Otherwise I might be the one tied to the whipping post next time.

I lower myself until I'm hanging from the branch by my hands and then, before I can talk myself out of it, I let go. Before my body can even fully register that I've fallen, I hit the ground. A jolt shoot right through my back. Luckily, there was a snow bank to catch some of my fall, but it's still painful. For a moment I lay down, trying to assess my injuries. My ankle hurts, my back is probably going to be stiff for a while and even with all the layers and special insolated Capitol materials, I can feel wet cold seeping through my clothes.

After a deep breath, I force myself to get up, finding that I can still walk (mostly), and head home.

I cringe at the thought of having to walk up the steps to our house, but before I can even take one step, Sakura practically runs out the house and barrels into me. Before I can wonder what in the world she may be doing, she pushes me all the way to the side of the house, towards the cellar.

It's been a long day, I'm injured from jumping twenty feet out a tree, freezing, hungry, and now Sakura is keeping me from going into the house. Needless to say, I'm a little frustrated.

"What are you doing?" I snap.

"Lower your voice," Sakura says as she opens the cellar. "And get in there."

"Why?" I ask.

"Because there are peacekeepers in there interrogating you."

"Interrogating me?"

"Interrogating Mirror, but they think it's you," Sakura explains hastily.

Mirror is what we've taken to calling the shapeshifting spirit that has set up house with us. According to Toya, she appeared not long after we left for the Victory Tour and despite the fact that he always tells her she shouldn't, her favorite disguise is Sakura. Toya is usually able to coax her into taking on another disguise though. And since the spirit seems to like Toya so much, Sakura won't seal her like she's sealed Windy and Illusion, citing that the spirit will make good company for Toya when we go to the Capitol every year for the Magic Games. But even though Mirror favors one or two forms, she can take on the appearance of anyone she sees, and though she hardly ever talks, I guess that means voices too if she's talking to peacekeepers as though she's me.

"Mirror?"

"I had to do something when you stayed gone so long. Yue, they waited for hours to give us an important message. I said they could just tell me, but they wanted to wait on you."

"What was the message?"

"That the fence will have electricity twenty-four hours a day," Sakura says, confirming my suspicions that it wasn't a coincidence that I just happened to be outside the fence when it was turned back on.

"They're about to leave. I've probably been out here too long already. I said I just came out here for snow for the medicine Kameha gave us for the long term treatment of Toya's back," Sakura says showing me the silver bowl in her hand before shoving me into the cellar. "I'll come get you when it's safe."

That said, she closes the cellar door. I hear her take a few steps, stop, presumably to fill her bowl with snow, and then I hear her go back up the steps and into the house.

At least twenty minutes pass before I hear the door open again and the heavy boots of the peacekeepers descending the steps and leaving the house. Another ten minutes pass before the cellar door opens, and Sakura helps pull me out.

"Be careful," I hiss as I land the wrong way on my left ankle causing pain to jolt through my entire leg.

"Sorry," Sakura says as she helps me up the steps and into the house.

Not only are Toya and Mirror waiting on us, but so is Clow who takes one look at me and says, "You look like you had quite the adventure," with that impish twinkle in his eye, the same impish twinkle that Sakura gets when she's amused and trying to hide it from me or up to some mischief.

I'm anything but amused as I collapse in a chair in front of the fire.

"What happened to you?" Toya finally asks.

I start to honestly tell them what happened, but if the Capitol has cameras out in the woods, I'm positive that the house is bugged. So I reply in irritation, "Slipped on some ice."

The answer causes Sakura to giggle.

When I shoot her a sharp glance, she just laughs again and says, "And you call me clumsy."

Once Sakura is done giggling, Clow has left (after warning me to stay out of trouble), and after I've tried to stand to go to my room only to almost fall back in my chair because my ankle won't carry any of my weight anymore, both Sakura and Toya take it upon themselves to cater to my every whim and need for the night. The two force me out my wet clothes and into pajamas and a robe, bring me dinner, and prepare tea for me after denying me coffee because I need to rest not stay awake. The tea and the sleeping syrup they add to it makes me drowsy and both Sakura and Toya help me up the stairs. Toya offers to carry me initially, but I decline because even though they're getting along well enough now, the last thing I need is for the two to start fighting over me again.

The next morning, Sakura brings Kameha to inspect me. After wrapping my foot and making sure nothing's broken or sprained on my back, she purses her lips at me and order me to stay in bed for a week, much to my dismay. I only disobey her once to find Sakura, on the first night of bed rest after suffering through another nightmare. As a result, Sakura drags her mattress into my room, sets it on the floor next to my bed, and sleeps there for the week.

Halfway through the week, when I'm able to make my way downstairs by myself, I settle in the living room and turn on the television. Toya raises an eyebrow at me and Sakura looks up from whatever book she got from Clow. Normally we don't turn on the television unless it's mandatory and even then, I'm not so intent on paying attention. That's even more true now with the much less subtle propaganda, displays of political power, and—worst of all—clips from Sakura's and my Magic Game. But now I'm looking for the bird Leung and Amoy were basing all their hope on.

The first time I see it is on a news story about the Dark Days, during the first rebellion. They show a clip of the ruins of District Thirteen and in the upper right hand corner, a bird flies across, just like Leung and Amoy said. Still, it proves nothing. Just and old shot that goes with an old tale. But days later on the news, the main newscaster is reading a piece about a shortage of graphite affecting the manufacturing of items in District Three. They cut to supposedly live footage of a female reporter, encased in a protective suit, standing in front of the ruins of the Justice Building in Thirteen. Through her mask, she reports that unfortunately a study has just today determined that the mines of District Thirteen are still too toxic to approach. But just before they cut back to the main newscaster, I see the same bird.

The reporter has only been incorporated into the old footage. She's not in District Thirteen. I lean back on the couch and cross my arms, staring absently at the television in thought. Then I sigh. Perfect. Yet another mystery to solve.

* * *

I spend days trying to puzzle out the mystery behind District Thirteen, what President Wang intends for Sakura and I, and why the worse things get, the more I keep having these dreams and nightmares of what appears to be a past life. Finally, I decide that I need to talk to Clow again. Even if he doesn't tell me anything particularly useful, maybe what he won't say will help steer me in the right direction. The opportunity to do so comes when Clow knocks on the door and asks Sakura if she wants to go into town. She doesn't, more consumed with playing some game with Mirror.

"I'll go," I suddenly say, causing everyone to look at me. "I've been in this house for almost two weeks. My ankle's fine, and I'll be with Clow. Is that good enough for you two?"

Toya and Sakura exchange a look and then both reluctantly agree to let me go, as though I care what they say and that I wouldn't have gone if they didn't want me to go.

As we slowly make our way into town, I tell him about Leung and Amoy, what they said about District Thirteen, and what I saw on the television. In return, he tells me about rumors of rebellion in District 7 and 11. That adds two more to my list of possibly rebelling Districts, making almost half the districts in outright rebellion. Of course, there's nothing I heard to confirm that. Just strong suspicions from some complaints my prep team made when Sakura and I did that shoot for Tomoyo. A shortage of shrimp, music chips, ribbons, which are all products made in Districts Four, Three, and Eight respectively.

I decide to outright ask what he thinks about the idea that District Thirteen might still exist underground. As he answers, in the same tone he uses when talking to Sakura, I pay more attention to his expressions, Clow's eyes, and most importantly, what he doesn't say.

In essence, he doubts its existence, but this isn't the first time Clow has hidden things from me before. And he's outright not telling me something about Sakura and I and the real truth behind this legend. Not to mention, I have to wonder where and who he's getting his information about the rebellions from. Something tells me Clow isn't as much of a hermit as he leads everyone to believe. Something tells me Clow is playing just as elaborate a part as Sakura and I have been.

When I get home, Toya off-handedly mentions that there's mandatory programming tonight. I can think of nothing except the debuting of Tomoyo's fashion line, but why in the world would that be mandatory viewing?

At seven thirty, we sit in front of the television and discover that I was right. It's not about Tomoyo's fashion line. It's about the Quarter Quell.

"The quarter quell isn't for months," Toya comments. "What about it?"

I shrug in response.

The anthem plays, and I narrow my eyes at President Wang, trying to repress my anger at him, as he takes the stage. A young boy dressed in a white suit follows him, holding a wooden box. The anthem ends, and President Want reminds us all of the Dark Days from which the Magic Games were born. When the laws for the Games were laid out, they dictated that every twenty-five years the anniversary would be marked by a Quarter Quell, a glorified version of the Games to make fresh the memory of those killed by the districts' rebellion.

It's ironic really, considering that almost half the districts are in rebellion right now.

President Wang proceeds to remind us what happened in the previous quells.

"On the twenty-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that their children were dying because of their choice to initiate violence, every district was made to hold an election and vote on the tributes who would represent it."

What a betrayal that would have been, to be turned over by the people of your own district. I wonder what district won that year. If it weren't One, Two, or Four, I imagine the Victor had one heck of a homecoming. How could anyone ever begin to trust the very people that turned them over in the first place? As I think about it, it was probably the Capitol's other goal.

"On the fiftieth anniversary," the president continues, "as a reminder that two rebels died for each Capitol citizen, every district was required to send twice as many tributes."

I'm glad I wasn't facing those odds last year. It was hard enough killing, outliving, and outmaneuvering twenty-two tributes. To face those twenty-two, plus twenty-three more, which would have included a bigger career pack, might have even daunted me. It's a wonder how Clow managed to win.

"And now we honor our third Quarter Quell," says the president. The boy in white steps forward, holding out the box as he opens the lid, revealing upright rows of yellowed envelopes, enough for centuries of Magic Games. The president removes an envelope clearly marked with a 75. He runs his finger under the flap and pulls out a small square of paper. Without hesitation, he reads, "On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors."

The only time I experienced silence so deafening was when I volunteered for the Magic Games last year since I was the first person to volunteer for the games in the history of District Twelve. The silence that permeates our house is even worse as we stare at the screen in bafflement, looking much like the silent Capitol crowd.

And then it sinks in. The existing pool of victors. District Twelve only has three to choose from. Two male and one female.

They're sending Sakura back into the arena.

And President Wang knows I'll have every intention of following.

* * *

**AN:** Ah yes. The Quarter Quell. It's one of my favorite parts in _Catching Fire_. I think when I first read it I had the same reaction as the characters in the book because the entire series Collins was like, "Once you win, you're out the reaping for good." And then the game changes. And then I sit here and wonder why I didn't see it coming before. Well, for the same reason the characters in the book didn't. There was no precedent. Lol.

Remember I ask for **at least** **2 review before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two.

Remember, reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


	12. Chapter 12

**12**

The lights blink, the television begins to static out, and the temperature in the house suddenly drops, even though it's relatively warm outside.

In the next few seconds, the television explodes and the lamp next to us shatters. The lights continue to blink, and it's not until both Sakura shouts my name and Toya looks at me and tells me to calm down that I realize I'm responsible for the occurrences.

My hands are shaking, my heart is racing, and more than anything I want to tear down that fence, get my bow and arrows, and start my own one man rebellion. I want to burn all of Magea to the ground and anyone who gets in my way can burn with it. As out of control as my magic is right now, it would probably take an entire squadron of peacekeepers to stop me.

"Yue, calm down," Toya says again.

"Calm down," I say slowly and then all the rage I've been repressing, all the frustration I've been putting aside, all the stress I've hidden in the last few months boils over. It's honestly long overdue and no amount of anyone telling me to calm down is going to stop me.

"That bastard!" I shout at the ruined television.

Sakura jumps at my outburst, hands over her face as if trying to hide.

"What was it all for? What have these last few months been for?" I yell at no one in particular because neither Sakura nor Toya have the answers.

"Yue," Sakura says quietly. "They might be listening."

"It doesn't matter," I snap at her, causing her to jump again. "It's never mattered. Don't you get it? That bastard president has been playing us both for fools. We never stood a chance. He was just waiting to spring this trap, to send us back into that arena and kill us anyway. It doesn't matter what we do or say anymore, and it never did."

I don't have my bow and arrows, so I settle for picking up the vase sitting on the entertainment center and throwing it as hard as I can into the wall. It makes a satisfying shattering noise.

As I look for something else to throw, I say, "Damn it. I should have taken you kicking and screaming and run away from here when we had the chance instead of letting you throw a stupid tantrum because you were jealous because you thought I was falling in love with your brother. As if I had time to think about things as silly as that."

"It wasn't silly," Sakura says, avoiding my gaze.

Sakura has effectively directed my anger towards her.

"Can you be anymore naïve? That little charade wasn't just to distract the districts or keep the Capitol entertained. It was to distract us. To keep us more focused on whether something the Capitol contrived was real or not. It's never been real! And now President Wang is laughing at us because we were dumb enough to think that maybe it could be and if we let it, they'd leave us alone," I yell at Sakura.

What happens next temporarily shocks me out my anger. It happens so suddenly, I don't even realize it happened until I feel the stinging in my cheek and Sakura shaking out the hand that slapped me as she glares at me through angry tears.

Then she says, "President Wang isn't the only bastard in Magea. There's one standing right in front of me!"

Then she storms out the house, brushing past Clow, who was no doubt attracted here by the sound of shouting and exploding items.

When the door slams shut, I finally remember Toya is in the room and that I just blew up on his sister in his presence. However, I'm once again too angry to care. I do have enough sense to go upstairs and lock myself in my room until I cool down though.

It takes a while, because I thought I had prepared for everything. I was prepared to be arrested, tortured, and mutilated. Prepared to run away and have the Capitol chase us. Prepared to play out this charade with Sakura to the end. Marry her, have a kid or two, watch them be reaped into the Magic Games. I was even prepared for Toya and I to be found out and forced to watch him killed and live with the guilt for the rest of my life. But the Quarter Quell has truly thrown me for a loop.

I never thought I'd have to go back into the Magic Game arena. Why would I? There's no precedent for it. Victors are out the reaping for life. That was the deal for winning the games until today.

That's why I know there's no way this was the Quarter Quell written down almost a century ago when the Capitol first came up with the Magic Games. It would be too convenient. He gets to get rid of Sakura and me and quells the rebellions at the same time by taking away their strongest. The ones who survived the arena, left poverty behind, got their happily ever after, and give the districts hope. Now that hope is being taken away too. That hope was an illusion. Sakura and I being some symbol of hope are an illusion.

An illusion.

And then I think about the rebellions, Sakura's and my faked romance to quell them to no avail, the president allowing us to be paraded all over television, the same footage of District Thirteen, my dreams, Clow's refusal to say too much on the matters even though he clearly knows a lot more about what's going on outside District Twelve than he's willing to tell.

Suddenly, everything falls into place.

Or rather, everything falls into a place that makes more sense than what I've been thinking about before. It's still farfetched, but something tells me… something tells me I'm on to something.

What if District Thirteen does exist? And what if they've wanted to help us all along, but couldn't because the districts were so afraid. What if they were waiting on the right person, the right cause for the districts to want to rally behind, and Sakura and I were that cause? What if our entire romantic charade was never for the districts or even to entertain the Capitol? What if it was to show District Thirteen that Sakura and I are just Capitol puppets? Not symbols of hope and defiance to rally behind. And the Quarter Quell is just reinforcing that.

I still don't know what that legend and my dreams have to do with all this, but that doesn't matter. I've got enough of a picture to know what's going on. I know Sakura's the one coming out of the games this time because suicide stunt isn't going to work twice. And if the Quarter Quell backfires, if the districts keep rebelling, especially once Sakura gets out alive, defying the odds twice in a row, and District Thirteen really does exist and they really were waiting for the right person for the districts to rally behind, then Sakura can be their symbol. Sakura can give them cause. Sakura can be their beacon.

I quickly begin to work out a plan in head, trying to come up with a list of variables that will affect the outcome of this game, including that Clow and Sakura could plan something behind my back, and that the Capitol can literally throw anything at me, so I'm going to have to stop being surprised by their antics. Then I remember that if Sakura's angry at me, she's not going to be cooperative, so the first thing I have to do is apologize. Admittedly, I do feel bad about blowing up on her. Sometimes I mistake Sakura's natural hopeful and optimistic nature for naivety, when she's well aware of what's going on. Her apparent ignorance to situations is her way of coping. Sakura proved that during the Victory Tour, where she played the perfect charade of a girl happily in love while not eating, having nightmares, and being generally miserable behind closed doors. But that's what could make her a great symbol of hope for the rebellion. No matter how dark it gets, Sakura never lets her despair show.

It's starting to get dark when I've finally cooled down and now I'm ready to channel my anger into something much more productive. However, it has to wait until the next morning. Clow left the house and I don't know where Sakura stayed the night, but it wasn't in the house. Wherever it was, it was close enough that I could sense her nearby so I don't go out the house to look for her.

The next morning, I mechanically get ready for a long day. First I have to find Sakura and apologize, and then it's off to find Clow and talk about our game plan, our surface one anyway. I'm pretty sure that Sakura has already gone to talk to Clow, and they've come up with their own plan to get me out the games, just like Sakura had a plan last year in the games. That's fine though. I've got a plan too.

Just as I turn towards the door to head out my room, Toya appears in the doorway with a cup of fresh coffee in his hands.

"Up bright and early," he comments.

"Yeah," I say looking over him for any indication that he's angry at me for my outburst at Sakura yesterday.

He silently hands me the coffee which I take. We stare at each other in silence for a moment, the atmosphere charged, but not with the tension that's been present the last few times Toya and I were in close proximity like this.

Finally I say, "I know. I was harsh on Sakura. I was just angry, and I took it out on her because she's the only person brave enough to interact with me when I'm like that."

"Actually, I wasn't going to say any of that," Toya said. "But since you brought it up, yes. You were too harsh on her. But then again, we're always harshest with the ones we care about the most which leads me to why I came up here to begin with, besides the coffee."

I furrow my eyebrows at Toya.

"Stop kidding yourself," Toya finally says.

I blink and tilt my head in confusion. "About what?"

"Sakura. Just admit it that you're in love with her already."

"I'm not—"

"Yue, stop being afraid of it."

I scoff. "Afraid?"

"Yes, afraid," Toya says with a small smile. "You volunteer for the Magic Games, stand up to career tributes bigger and more skilled than you, and challenge peacekeepers in public without so much as an eye twitch. But when it comes to feelings or love, you're ready to flee to the woods."

I stare at Toya, not sure what he's getting at even though I can't dispute him. He's not the first person to make that observation about me. I've made that observation about myself.

"And you call Sakura naïve," Toya says poking me in forehead and causing me to scowl. It only makes him laugh.

"You do realize that I'm going to be dead in a few months," I say. "There's no time to worry about a love life. It's better that way."

"So what?" Toya asks. "Everyone has to die at some point, but that's never stopped anyone. Focus on the here and now for a once in your life, Yue."

I want to say that the here and now is the Quarter Quell, but I'll humor Toya.

He stands up and starts to leave the room without saying anything else, but I stop him from leaving when I suddenly ask, "How do you know?"

"How do I know what?" Toya asks turning back around.

"What's got you so convinced it's your sister? How do you know it's not you?" I ask.

Toya, to my bemusement, scoffs.

"You don't have to try to spare my feelings, Yue. I know why you let me kiss you. It was because no one was forcing you. Because you didn't have to do it for the cameras, because you thought it was a chance for you to stop pretending and be a real person," Toya says.

I forgot how observant Toya was. Or course he knew the entire time why I might have been inclined to be more open to a relationship with him rather than Sakura. It's not surprising, but it doesn't change the fact that I am.

"Just because everything between you two unfolded in front of an audience doesn't mean it's not real. Besides, Sakura's the only person in the world that can make you get beside yourself like you did yesterday. That's passion, Yue. And there aren't many things you're passionate about," Toya says.

He looks at me for a while and then he backtracks and kisses me on the forehead before leaving the room.

I decide to leave a few minutes after Toya has left. He says nothing as I pass by the living room, where he sits on the couch, staring at nothing in particular. He's holding it together, but I imagine this is like reliving last year's Magic Game again. These next few months are going to be difficult for him.

I just get to the bottom step outside the house when I see Sakura exit the house across from me, my house. So that's where she went. For some reason I can't make myself approach her as I stare at her from the distance, Toya's words weighing on my mind. Well, not just Toya's. Clow's words, Tomoyo's, Sonomi's, Kameha's, anyone who's ever found a reason to weigh in on my relationship with Sakura. Maybe they understand something about love that I don't. And admittedly, the idea of love is something I have difficulty grasping if only because it's so impractical to me. It makes people do impractical things like when Sakura tried to commit suicide or when… when I volunteered for the Magic Games.

"Yue, are you alright?"

I was so lost in my thoughts, I didn't notice that Sakura had made her way over and is about to start up the steps into the house.

"I…"

I frown. Suddenly facing Sakura is much harder than I imagined it would be when I decided I would apologize to her last night.

"Yue. Why are you looking at me like that?"

I shake my head to clear my thoughts. Finally I say, "Sorry."

Sakura looks confused for a moment before her eyes widen and she says, "For last night?"

"Yes," I reply. "I shouldn't have yelled at you or dismissed your feelings. I have no right to tell you what you do or don't feel or should feel. You're right. It makes me no better than President Wang."

"It's okay, Yue."

"It wasn't. It's not."

Sakura looks down at the ground and then back at me before saying, "Yeah. It wasn't okay. But I understand why you were mad. I think I understand what you were trying to say." Then she smiles and adds, "Even if you were being a bastard about it."

She's trying to get a smile out of me, but instead I looked at her in confusion instead. And then, before I can stop myself, I blurt out, "How can you forgive me so easily?"

"What do you mean?"

"I yelled at you, called you naïve and silly, and drove you to tears, yet you let it go so easily. Why?" I ask, almost demand.

Sakura's behavior is truly baffling to me. Yesterday's outburst tops any of the outbursts I've had at her previously, which are far and few in between, but still if I were her I wouldn't be so quick to forgive me.

Sakura laughs as though it's the silliest thing she's ever heard me ask and then says in a certain but gentle voice so like the older version of her that I dream about that it's uncanny, "I forgave you so easily for the same reason you wanted to apologize to me in the first place."

Sakura's accusation is a bold one. One that makes me take a step back from her, and, to my horror, blush in discomfort and embarrassment. Before I can reply, she changes the subject.

"Are we headed to see Clow?"

I nod.

"Give me a few minutes to clean up," Sakura says before making her way into the house.

I sit on the steps to wait on her. As I wait, I can't help but wonder if this is what Kameha meant when she said she was betting on Sakura, because for some reason my heart is racing because of that smile and that laugh that I inexplicably can't get out my head.

* * *

**AN:** ...

Remember I ask for **at least** **2 review before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two.

Remember, reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


	13. Chapter 13

**13**

We immediately decide that I'll be the one going back into the games with Sakura, not that Clow or Sakura argued much because there was no changing my mind about that. But just in case I get picked and Clow has the thought to volunteer for me, I remind him that he's been mentoring longer, that he knows the people of the Capitol better, that he'll be more use to Sakura and I in the games than I will, especially considering how impersonable I can be.

With that decided, we focus on training like careers. With Kameha's help, Sakura and I are put on a strict diet to help us put on weight and get stronger. Every morning we run and do exercises to strengthen our bodies. In the afternoon we practice combat and magic. Sakura becomes pretty talented at throwing knives, particularly long ones that more resemble the long sticks she is so good at twirling, but I doubt she'll ever gain the heart to use one to hurt someone. She can do almost all magic, though she only excels at a few and is good at complicated spell work. She also has a very particular and uncanny talent for calling certain spirits to her aid to enhance her magic, which makes me remember that the version of her I dream about kept a lot of powerful spirits around her. That will definitely come in handy during the Games.

I also get a lot of practice with my magic. I have limited control over the temperature, very limited telekinesis, can manipulate water and anything that falls under the yin sign, and can effortlessly call the crystalline daggers to my aid now. Since my bow and arrows are still stuck out in the woods behind the fence that's always on now, Clow forces me to perfect the magical bow and arrow that I used to finally defeat Ruby at the end of the last games. We've also found out that my magic is easier for me to control on the full moon and more unpredictable during the new moon, though no less powerful.

Sakura managed to get Sonomi to send us recordings of all the victors and their games, which we watch at night. Clow then tells us everything he knows about them, while I make note of their skill sets and what skills I have that would be best suited to counter them. Toya and Yukito also manage to sneak us Capitol newspapers from Yukito's father for us to read where people predict who will be the victor of the victors help us figure out the favorites.

For an entire month, we train nonstop, but for one day, we decide to take a break.

Sakura's birthday.

In previous years, it only meant another slip in the reaping bowl even though we celebrated it anyway. Before the quell announcement, I had somewhat been looking forward to this one because we could actually celebrate the occasion without the reminder that it also meant another slip in the reaping bowl. This year, it'll be last one I ever spend with her.

The party we have planned for her is no surprise. She already knows whose coming—Tomoyo, Demetrius, Sonomi, Clow, Yukito, Mirror in whatever form she decides to disguise herself in—though she has no clue the gifts they'll bring. Toya and I usually work together to surprise her with something, but this year is hard. How do you give a gift to someone with access to everything they could ever want and need? Toya decides he'll come up with something on his own while I just go straight to Sakura and asks what she wants.

"I'll think about it," she said in a coy way that causes my stomach to knot uncomfortably.

Sakura's been doing that lately, I can't really say she's changed or even that I've changed, but there has been yet another shift in the dynamics of our relationship. It's hard to explain, but if there was a word for it, I'd say Sakura's become somewhat indifferent towards me. That's not to say she isn't her normal kind and personable self, but normally she's so eager to please me, so worried that she'll say or do the wrong thing, and I'll withdraw from her or be angry with her. Always so hopeful that I'll eventually come around. I guess the best way to describe it is that normally she deals with me like a hurt animal that will lash out if you step to it the wrong way, as much as I hate comparing myself to a hurt animal. Now though she seems not to care, openly rolling her eyes when I say something she doesn't like or when I'm being harsh instead of trying not to cry. Sighing in situations where she would normally whine about being able to take care of herself and that I'm too protective, as though she's humoring or patronizing me. And when I'm being a grouch, as she likes to call it or sometimes even a bastard—because though she's forgiven me, she seems intent on never letting me forget that incident—instead of being teasing when she calls it to my attention, she says it with obvious annoyance and a touch of disdain.

Admittedly, I don't know what to make of this more indifferent Sakura. She treats me like everyone else. No. She doesn't treat me like everyone else. She's polite and charming to everyone else. She's timid and maybe even a little coy to everyone else. She's hopeful and optimistic to everyone else. She treats me like… a little like she treats Toya. A sibling that she has to live with because we're bound by blood. And for reasons I can't imagine, I don't like it.

I don't like it _at all._

Sakura doesn't seem to care though, again different because usually she'd seem to pick up on it and change her ways. As a result, come the day of her birthday, I'm not totally myself. I'm in a somewhat agreeable mood, having prepared myself for the company we would have weeks ago, but I can't stop trying to puzzle out what caused this subtle change in Sakura that only I seem to have noticed. I feel unbalanced.

"Well someone's distracted or in a bad mood one. Usually you'll at least smile when I come in the room."

Since she requested it, I manage to smile for Tomoyo, even if it's forced.

"So, how have things been going? Feeling okay? All things considered?" she asks.

"Fine, I guess," I reply still a little distracted.

Tomoyo nods and then says, "Well try not to let it bother you too much today. Summer is still a little ways off. Let's try to enjoy ourselves today, for Sakura's sake."

I nod in agreement, even though Tomoyo's wrong. I had already decided I wouldn't put any thought or worry into the Quarter Quell today. What occupies my mind right now is Sakura's strange behavior lately and whether I should confront her about it.

"What in the world are you wearing?" Toya suddenly demands, causing me to look up and see what he's talking about.

About twenty minutes ago, Demtrius whisked Sakura upstairs to put her in a dress he designed just for her birthday. Now Sakura has made her way back down the stairs, and I see what has Toya perturbed.

The dress is mostly white, with a pink lining that peaks from the bottom of the widely flared skirt. It's accessorized with flat white boots—one of which reaches to her thigh with a pink ribbon tied around it, while the other stops at her ankle—and a white and pink fabric choker with a gold star dangling from it. What has Toya so bothered by the dress is two things. The first is that the skirt is very short, probably coming just past her mid-thighs. The second is the fact that it has no sleeves or straps, causing the bodice to cling tightly to her bust and waist and the tops of her breast to just peak out the top.

"Isn't it gorgeous," Demetrius asks. "In the Capitol, dresses like these are very popular with young women Sakura's age."

"I don't care how popular it is," Toya says. "She needs to put on something else."

Sakura rolls her eyes. "I'm not a little girl anymore, Toya."

"I think she looks gorgeous," Tomoyo says.

"And you're also from the Capitol," Toya points out and then turns to Clow.

Clow shakes his head and says, "I want nothing to do with this."

"Fine. You agree with me. Don't you, Yue?"

I look at Sakura, who is now looking at me expectantly and then back at Toya, whose expression matches his sister's. Then I glance once more at Sakura and her dress. Though they're managing it in different ways, the two siblings are making me feel more unbalanced than I already feel. The discomfort they make me feel is almost worse than when they were fighting over me.

"It's no worse than what she wore on the Victory Tour," I finally say.

I'm lying. It's much worse than the dresses and outfits she wore on the Victory Tour. The outfits on the Victory tour were carefully designed to make her look like a naïve girl in love, oblivious to the strife happening in the world, unassuming and harmless. Not a rebellious or defiant bone in her body. This dress sends the very opposite message. It's deliberate, eye catching, and daring. The white and pink, which are usually colors of innocence, in combination with the lack of sleeves and the short hemline mocks anyone who dares to think otherwise. This is the dress of a girl who knows exactly what she wants and is unafraid to go after it, a side of Sakura not many people are privy to seeing. The side of the star that burns.

"See," Demetrius says in triumph to Toya.

Toya grudgingly concedes defeat and says nothing else about the dress for the rest of the party, though that doesn't stop him from periodically glaring at it.

The evening passes without any more hiccups as everyone enjoys socializing and congratulating Sakura for making it to her fifteenth birthday while eating the feast Toya and I prepared together. It was mostly Toya since he's a better cook than I am. The only thing I was responsible for was the elaborate cake we got from the baker in town. Or course, nothing we do here is as elaborate as what the Capitol could provide, but it's much more elaborate than anything we've had in previous years.

At some point during the night, Sakura opens her gifts. Apparently everyone else is much better at gift buying than I am because even though Sakura has access to everything she could ever want, they manage to get her things I could have never thought to get her. Tomoyo and Demetrius, whose gift also consisted of the dress Sakura is wearing, gives her a handmade doll that resembles Sakura and is wearing the dazzling fuchsia dress she wore at our pre-Magic Game interview. With it are miniature versions of all the outfits Demetrius has designed for her over the course of the year. Apparently, Sakura offhandedly told Demetrius that she'd never owned a real doll before while we were in the Capitol on the Victory Tour after we passed some doll collector shop or another.

Clow presents Sakura with a pink and gold book with her name across the top, a star with wings below it and at the bottom a large sun with a miniature sun and moon next to it. When she opens it, there's a hollow place to put the cards with the spirits she has sealed in it.

Mirror, who has been sitting in the corner disguised as a young girl with blue eyes and long yellow-blond hair in two braids thrown over her shoulder, bounds over as soon as she sees the book and the two cards that Sakura summons to her hands. She's practically bouncing in giddy excitement as she asks Sakura if she can hold the cards and the book, which Sakura allows.

"Where'd you find that?" I ask Clow, who's standing next to me. I don't add that I feel like I've seen that book before.

"Here and there," Clow says, "with the help of a little magic."

I don't feel like puzzling out Clow's cryptic messages today.

Sonomi's gift is surprisingly the most thoughtful of all the gifts. Somehow, she managed to get her hands on a still shot of Sakura, Cerberus, and I from the Magic Games right after Chiharu died, when we sat around a dying camp fire and made her crest. All our faces can be clearly seen in it. And even though we all look a little worse for wear and we're in the middle of the Magic Games at the time, we all look content, like old friends finally reunited after a long time apart. It's in an elaborate frame that Sonomi says our prep teams picked out.

"Now you'll never forget Kero's face," Sonomi said gently when she presents it to Sakura, who is looking at the picture with a strange mixture of wistful nostalgia and delight.

When it's obviously my turn, everyone looks at me expectantly. I look at Sakura who finally manages to take her eyes off Cerberus' picture.

She smiles as she says, "You can give me your gift later."

"You've decided what you want?" I ask. Whatever she has in mind, I can't imagine that it can top any of what she's already gotten.

She nods.

It's not until later, as the afternoon begins to fade into early evening, and everyone is either sitting around the living room or helping Toya tidy the kitchen that Sakura grabs my hand and says, "Come on."

"Come where?" I ask, aware that Sakura has drawn the attention of everyone else in the room.

"Out."

"Why?"

"So you can give me your gift," Sakura says as though it's obvious.

"Today?" I ask. I would have thought she would wait until tomorrow morning since that's when Sonomi, Tomoyo, and Demtrius are leaving to go back to the Capitol.

"It won't take long," Sakura insists, and I let her tug me out my seat and towards the door.

"We'll be back," Sakura announces before closing the door behind us.

Even once it's apparent I'm going to follow her, Sakura doesn't let go of my hand. Once we're closer to town, I try to tug it away from her, but she only tightens her grip. When we're actually in town, I can't help feeling somewhat self-conscious. I feel like everyone is watching us and maybe they are, not just because of Sakura's dress, but because it's almost like the Magic Games never happened, and Sakura and I are visiting the various shops as I try to get a good deal for what we need the most, deciding what we can manage to do without. After weeks of being apprehensive of acknowledging us, a few people even nod towards us or even smile as if Sakura is still the little girl and I'm the peculiar young teenager (Kameha's words) we were so long ago. The thing is we're not anymore. So what do those smiles and nods mean now?

It's not until we're leaving the town that I realize Sakura's not taking me to any of the shops to buy a gift. Instead, we end up trekking a familiar and old worn path to our old poverty stricken neighborhood.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"It's a surprise," she says teasingly.

"It's your birthday," I point out. "I'm supposed to surprise you."

"You're no good at giving or receiving surprises, Yue."

And there's that indifference again. I press my lips together to hide how much it bothers me, even though Sakura's not looking at me.

It becomes apparent where we're going not long after we've left town, but I don't say anything about it until we're opening the door to the small government distributed house that seems too small after living in Victor Village for nearly a year. I haven't been back here since we left it last year before the reaping, even though it's technically still our house, even though Toya would be forced to return here in the event that we died.

"Why did you want to come here?" I finally ask.

"No one to watch us," Sakura says as she turns to me. "I wanted you to be comfortable."

If that's what she wanted, it's definitely worked. I never knew how suffocating my life has been lately until I came back here, away from the listening ears and prying eyes of the Capitol if only for a few moments. I can breathe a little easier, and I feel more relaxed but now I'm wondering why Sakura would want me to be comfortable for. When I ask, Sakura's expression becomes set in determination, no hesitation anywhere in sight.

Then she confidently says, "Kiss me."

Thrown off guard, I stutter, "Wh-what?"

"I want you to kiss me. For my birthday."

"That's what you want?"

Sakura nods.

"Why here?"

"Because I didn't want an audience. Here, there are no cameras and nobody to please. No one's forcing you to do anything. You can say no, even though you did say—"

"I'd get you what you wanted. I remember."

"You don't want to."

"It's not that," I say quickly and then try not to falter because of how awkward that felt. "I just wasn't expecting you to ask for this."

"Didn't even cross your mind when I dragged you away from everyone to get you all to myself?" Sakura asks in an obviously teasing tone that causes me to press my lips together tightly to prevent the heat I feel rising to my cheeks from showing.

Sakura suddenly laughs and says, "Demetrius is right about you."

"Demetrius?" I ask and it occurs to me that Sakura probably talks to him in much the same way I talk to Tomoyo. "What did he say about me?"

"He called you a little asexual."

"Asexual? What's that?"

"It's what they call people who aren't very interested in sexual relationships in the Capitol," Sakura begins. I nod in comprehension. In the Capitol, they have the time and privilege to give a name to every human type of behavior. In the districts, it's conform and survive or die. Then Sakura adds, "Demetrius says that's the reason you're not aware when it comes to this kind of stuff."

I give up trying to puzzle out this blunt and indifferent Sakura. I'll just take it all in stride as much as I can so long as she doesn't make things difficult for me during the Quarter Quell.

"So are you going to kiss me?" she asks seriously, the determined look back on her face again.

I did promise her anything and though she's been somewhat crass with me lately, she thought enough of me to bring me away from prying eyes, where no one could possibly be watching so I'd be relaxed and comfortable.

"Alright," I agree.

"_On _three," she says.

I nod, pushing my nerves aside and take the initiative to begin the count.

"One."

"Two," she says grabbing my hand, slowly closing the distance between us.

"Three," we mumble closing the rest of the short distance between us.

I've kissed Sakura before, many times over the course of the end of the Victory Tour, but I never felt anything in particular from them because I don't take much enjoyment out of anything I'm forced to do. At the same time, it's much different from Toya's kiss which I enjoyed solely for the fact that no one was forcing me to do it more than it was that it was him, though he's probably the only person I'd trust enough to kiss for that reason. I enjoy this kiss for reasons more than that; reasons I can't be bothered to think about as I use my free hand to close the gap between our bodies while we put all the experimenting with different types of kissing we did on the Victory Tour to good use. Sucking lips, touching tongues. The only reason we come apart is because we have to breathe.

For a moment neither of us says anything as we stare at each other trying to catch our breath. Then I say breathlessly, "Happy birthday."

"Thanks," Sakura says, looking strangely satisfied with herself, like a cat who has only just begun playing with her prey.

It unnerves me and now I'm conflicted. Part of me, a larger part of me than I want to admit to, wants to ask if she wants to do that again. But another part of me knows we have to get back. Not only do we have guests, but walking through town late at night with Kouji and these new peacekeepers running things is dangerous. The latter part wins out.

We silently walk back to Victor's village and I keep my arms crossed the entire time, just in case Sakura's inclined to hold my hand again. She doesn't appear to be. In fact, she seems strangely content, walking with a pep in her step that causes her to get too far ahead of me a few times. I can't be bothered trying to gauge what she's feeling, because I'm too bothered trying to figure out my own.

When we're back home, I sit in a chair next to the cold fireplace and don't talk to anyone else for the rest of the night. Luckily, no one tries to talk to me either.

Finally, everyone is gone except Tomoyo, who seems to have been waiting for the opportunity to talk to me alone.

"You've been quiet tonight. Even for you, Yue. Are you alright?" she asks.

"I don't know," I reply honestly.

"What's bothering you? Is it the Quarter Quell?"

"No," I reply immediately. I know what I have to do about that. There's nothing to think about regarding the Quarter Quell, right now.

"Then what?"

I start to explain, but then I realize in order for Tomoyo to get why I'm so bothered, she'd need to understand the context.

"It's complicated," I finally say.

Tomoyo grins. "We have all night."

I tell her everything about what's been going on in my personal life. Kissing Toya. Sakura seeing. Their rivalry over me. Sakura's apparent jealousy. My dismissal of her feelings and then apologizing later. Sakura's indifference toward me lately and how much it bothers me.

"And tonight…"

"What?" Tomoyo asks.

"She asked me to kiss her."

"Oh!" Tomoyo says, seeming surprised. "Did you?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"I liked it," I admit, not embarrassed to admit it at the moment. "I liked it a lot."

"That's a good thing, right?" Tomoyo asks.

"I guess," I reply.

Tomoyo sighs. "Okay, Yue. You're going to have to tell me exactly what's going on, because I'm confused. What are you confused about?"

"I don't know. I just feel different around Sakura lately. She flusters me much more than she used to lately. I've always been aware of her, but just her presence is enough to severely distract me from what I'm doing lately. I can't stop thinking about what she thinks of me when I have more things to be concerned about, and when she kissed me tonight, it was different. Not because it wasn't forced. Kissing Toya wasn't forced but I didn't feel like this. I feel like this because…"

"Because what?"

"Because it was her, I guess," I say. Then I sigh. "You know what. Forget it. I—"

Tomoyo suddenly jumps out her seat and lunges toward me, giving a catatonic squeal as she grins from ear to ear. I'm glad this wasn't the first impression I got of Tomoyo. If it had been, I would have _never _liked her.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" I ask.

"Sorry," Tomoyo says, though she's still grinning. "You're just so darn cute, Yue. And this is so exciting. And funny. It's actually really funny," Tomoyo adds as she begins to laugh.

"What's funny?"

Tomoyo sighs. "It's so simple, Yue. But I guess I can understand why you haven't figured it out. You're not comfortable with these types of things."

Now she's beginning to irritate me. "Comfortable with what types of things?" I snap.

"_These_ things," Tomoyo says as though it's obvious. Before I can say something mean to her, she adds, "Emotional things."

Then she grasps my hands in hers and says gently, as though talking to a five-year-old, "You, Yue, have what is called a _crush_."

* * *

**AN:** This was such a breather chapter for me. I have to say, writing this is depressing. So much bad stuff happens that it's so nice when I can get some normal not so bad stuff in between, let alone happy moments. Next chapter is the beginning of the Quarter Quell so… not much more happiness.

Remember I ask for **at least** **2 review before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two.

Remember, reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


	14. Chapter 14

**14**

On the day of the reaping, everyone gathers in the square with machine guns trained on them. Somehow, even though all the children in the lottery are safe for another year by default, the mood is more dark and sullen than normal. I don't blame them. For all intents and purposes, this year's reaping is totally pointless. Still the Capitol just has to make a big show of it. Sonomi comes up without her usual exuberance in a gold wig decorated with gold stars and takes more than a few seconds to grab the one slip that everyone already knows has Sakura's name on it. Then she takes Clow's name from the other bowl. I'm glad for this, because part of me was nervous that if my name was picked, Clow would go against our deal and volunteer for me. This way I can volunteer and ensure my place in the arena.

Immediately, we're forced into the justice building. And because of a new procedure, we're put in cars and taken straight to the train station. Then Sakura, Clow, Sonomi, and I are all escorted by guards onto the train, the doors are closed, and the train begins to move. There are no cameras, no cheering crowds, and no fanfare. We didn't get to say our good-byes, but Toya is the only one I have to say good-bye to, and Sakura and I pretty much did that last night when we sat up in the living room all night. The only other people I might have wanted to see was Yukito and Kameha. Yukito because he has been helpful, and Kameha because I wanted to tell her she was right at least partly.

After Tomoyo declared I had a crush on Sakura's birthday, we went back and forth for nearly an hour where I vehemently denied such an allegation, and Tomoyo continued to insist otherwise.

"Of course," she said, "you're long past the crush stage. But the fact that you're just realizing it makes it a crush."

Finally I conceded defeat, because as much I want to deny it, all the evidence is against me. Tomoyo squealed again when I finally decided to admit to it. Then I remembered that she also talks to Sakura every now and then. Thus I made Tomoyo promise she wouldn't mention it to the girl. Tomoyo laughed and assured me she wouldn't and that she'd let us work this out on our own. She did give me one last piece of advice though.

"You should tell her. It would make her happy."

I scoffed and said it was only a crush at the time. Crushes go away.

It hasn't. If anything, it's gotten progressively worse. I'm uncomfortable around her, I can't seem to get my words right around her, and I regret that I ever agreed to kiss her because now I can't get it or how much I enjoyed it out my head. I want to kiss her again, but I'm not so forward as to ask, and Sakura hasn't found an occasion to request it again if she even wants to. Thus I try my best to avoid her if I don't need to be around her or even talk to her, a hard feat when we live in the same house. If Sakura notices, she doesn't care or at least she doesn't say anything. Toya certainly does notice if the way he watches me when I'm in Sakura's presence is an indication, but he says nothing either.

When I was younger, Fujitaka used to laugh at me and say I was weird teenager. When I asked what he meant, he said that most boys my age, twelve or thirteen at the time, were a ball of raging hormones (I've always had little interest in romance) and wouldn't be caught dead with a girl as young as Sakura following them around all the time. It was the first time I heard someone tell me I was an old soul. Apparently, what I seemed to have had little interest in back then has caught up to me now, and I feel every bit the ball of raging hormones teenager that Fujitaka said I wasn't. The teenager that I technically still am at nineteen, even though I forget it most times.

The timing couldn't have been worse with the Quarter Quell upon us. I could take Tomoyo's advice and tell Sakura, but then she'd be happy for all of two weeks before I'm dead and she's left heartbroken. And even if I were inclined to tell her, how would I go about it? How do I tell the girl whose pining I've been all but ignoring that I suddenly feel something, though I haven't quite decided what, for her? I decide then and there. I won't tell her. It's better that way.

I suppress a groan at myself. We'll be in the Magic Game arena in a week and I'm more concerned about a trivial matter like this. There are more important things to worry about. And by the time we sit to watch the recap of the reapings, I've pushed my personal dilemma out my head.

In the history of the games, there have been seventy-five victors. Fifty-nine of them are still alive, but every district has managed to scrape up two victors. Many of them are old, ill, and wasted from drugs and alcohol. Though Clow told me not to, if any of those are reaped, I quickly dismiss them as a threat. Like last year, I only remember the ones who stand out to me.

From District Two is Esha Misra, a dark woman with dark hair who looks more vicious than Ruby with her gold teeth altered to look like fangs. From District Four is the infamous Syaoran Li and Meiling Li, cousins who won back to back Magic Games a few years ago. Like many victors, Syaoran has a talent for magic. Meiling has no magic, but won her games by acting like a scared weakling and then proving that she was very efficient in hand to hand combat. Kiara Abel, like Sakura, is the only living female victor of District Seven. While also very capable of throwing two axes at the same time, the woman's a pyromaniac who won her games by trapping the remaining tributes in a valley and burning them to death. From District Eight is a woman Sonomi calls Sang, who is about thirty and has to detach herself from the three children that cling to her.

No one else stands out to me, and I watch the remaining reapings with little interest until they get to District Twelve, where Sakura's name is called, then Clow's, and then I volunteer. I idly muse that my actions are one for the record books. I volunteered two years in a row. No one is ever going to do that again. After our reaping is played, an announcer gets teary eyed and comments about how the odds will seem to never be in Sakura's and my favor. Then she pulls herself together and adds that she bets "these will be the best games ever."

Once it's done, Clow bids us goodnight and leaves the room. Then, after a moment of making unconnected comments about the tributes this year, and adding that she needs to get Clow something with a star on it to symbolize that we're a team, Sonomi leaves also.

"You should go to bed," I say to Sakura.

Sakura does so without arguing.

There's no chance of me getting any sleep tonight. My thoughts are filled with how last year's Games were a walk in the meadow compared to this year's. Last year the tributes were just a bunch of kids just like us. This year, Sakura and I are going in with experienced killers. No matter who I think looks like a threat or doesn't, one year these people overcame the rest and were victors. I'm just glad Sakura and I didn't meet any of them on the tour.

I thought it was odd that we didn't meet any of them and in hindsight I realize President Wang wouldn't have wanted us bonding with the victors of potentially rebellious districts, especially if they showed to support our defiance. Now though, it just means that they aren't our friends, so I won't have much reservations about killing them all off. At the same time, it makes things harder. Sakura and I are the odd ones out here. We'd be the first targets since it's easier to kill a stranger than a friend. I sigh and decide to go watch the tapes of some of the reaped victors that Sonomi gave us. Out of curiosity more than because I think she may be a threat, I choose to watch Sang's games.

I'm halfway through the video when I sense Sakura enter the room. She comes around to sit next to me, fiddling with that star key necklace she always wears.

"Is that your token again?" I ask to fill the silence, because it's hard to just be around Sakura lately.

"Yes," she says. "I started to bring my bracelet, but what did I need that for when you're here with me."

She's beating around the obvious reason she's awake.

"Nightmares," I say.

She nods, though she doesn't try to come any closer to me. Finally I simply reach my hand out to her. She grabs it and I pull her into my arms. For the first time in weeks, my heart doesn't race by her being so close.

We sit there for a while before Sakura says, "You've been avoiding me."

So she did notice.

"We live in the same house," I reply. "I can hardly avoid you."

"Well maybe avoiding isn't the word. Maybe guarded is how you've been acting around me lately. Like you don't know what to do with me anymore," she explains.

That's because I don't. I've never put so much thought into what Sakura is to me before as I have lately. At first she was Toya's little sister. Later, a peaceful companion if not necessarily friends. During and after the Magic Games, things changed, but I was so focused on protecting Sakura and acting like we were lovers in front of the cameras that I never figured out what changed. Now? Now that I will admit not everything we did for the cameras was an act? Now that I know that this new dynamic isn't necessarily Capitol made? I don't know. Friends doesn't seem like enough anymore. In fact, it seems childish. I guess peaceful companions will do for now because no matter what changes between us, no matter how indifferent I act towards her or (lately) she acts towards me, companions are something we always are. Maybe that's why in the legend of the star mistress there are so many discrepancies about what the moon guardian and the star mistress were to each other. They lived for centuries and maybe at different points in time they were more like brother and sister, more like lovers, or more like even casual acquaintances, but the fact that they were companions, that the moon guardian always protected her with the help of the sun guardian never changed.

When an attendant comes in the room with warm milk in a ceramic jug, Sakura and I come apart.

The attendant sets it down on a table and says to Sakura, "I bought an extra mug. And added a touch of honey to the milk for sweetness. And a touch of spice."

"Thank you," Sakura says.

The attendant looks like he wants to say more, but shakes his head and backs out the room instead.

"They feel bad for us," Sakura says as she pours the milk.

"I feel bad for us too," I say suddenly, without really thinking.

Sakura turns to look at me sharply, oblivious to the fact that the milk is close to overflowing in the mug. I reach a hand out and tip it back, saving myself some discomfort by ignoring her gaze. What possessed me to say that?

"They get attached to their champions," I add in reference to the Capitol. "But I'm sure they'll be fine once the first blood is spilled in the games."

Sakura sighs and sips on her milk, not saying anything as she continues to watch me over the rim of her mug. Finally she turns to the television, where Sang's games are still playing and asks, "Strategizing?"

I shake my head. "Just curious."

"Is Clow's tape in there?" Sakura asks.

I look through the box and find it mixed in among the tapes. We never watched it. Not only is Clow not our competition, but he also wouldn't have wanted to. No one wants to relive their own games. But he's not here now.

"Should we watch it?" Sakura asks as though watching it would be an invasion of Clow's privacy.

"It's the only Quarter Quell we have," I say and put the tape in to watch.

Once I sit back down, Sakura curls up next to me with her milk. The anthem plays and shows President Wang, who hasn't changed much since then, drawing and reading the card, where he reveals that twice the number of tributes will be drawn. As soon as the card is read, the video cuts to the reapings where in each District four children are chosen as tributes rather than the customary two. Then comes District Twelve.

A woman who's certainly not Sonomi calls the names, but like Sonomi does every year, she starts off with "Ladies First." She calls the name of some random girl and then another girl, with dark hair and familiar brown eyes named Yuuki Koizumi.

The camera finds the sixteen-year-old in the crowd with a girl that looks just like her clinging to her hand. As Yuuki withdraws her hand and makes her way to the stage, another girl around thirteen or so with dark hair makes her way to the other girl, who must be Yuuki's sister, and holds her hand while the older girl begins to cry. Both Sakura and I instantly recognize the younger girl.

"That's your mother," I say and Sakura nods. Then I look at Yuuki's sister and it dawns on her where I've seen her. "That's Yukito's mother."

Sakura says nothing as the boys are reaped next. Clow is called last, but it's not him who gets Sakura's and my attention. It's the boy around his age standing next to him and patting him on the back, urging him on.

"Is that your dad?" I ask.

"Clow never said they knew each other," Sakura says in confusion.

Maybe they didn't. The poor people of our district are a very close knit community. Maybe it was just something Fujitaka did. But the familiarity with which the gesture was done suggests otherwise.

After the reaping, there's the chariot rides and the interviews, both of which I pay little attention to until Sakura tugs on my arm and says, "Look, Yue. It's your earring."

Sure enough, Yuuki is wearing the earring Yukito gave me on her ear at her interview, which we only catch a glimpse of since they only show Clow's interview in full, and the same earring is visible on her ear as they rise from the launch room into the arena.

Both Sakura and I are taken aback by the arena. So are the tributes save for Clow, who appears indifferent to the green meadows, colorful flowers, clear blue skies and songbirds. An aerial view shows the meadow goes on for miles and in the distance are woods and a large snowcapped mountain.

The beauty disorients most of them, because when the gong sounds, most of them seem like they're trying to wake from a dream. Clow takes advantage of his competitor's distraction. He's at the Cornucopia, armed with weapons and a backpack of choice supplies, and heading for the woods before most of the others have stepped off their plates.

Eighteen tributes are killed in the bloodbath the first day. As others begin to die off, it's clear that almost everything in the arena—the fruit dangling from the bushes, the water in the crystalline streams, the scent of the flowers when inhaled too directly—is deadly poisonous. Only the rainwater and the food provided at the Cornucopia are safe to consume. There's also the Careers; twice as many, well stocked, and just as deadly as any other year.

In the woods, Clow faces harmless looking golden squirrels turn out to be carnivorous and attack in packs. Just as I notice that there's a startling lack of magic present in this arena, he also faces a group of fairies. Normally the small winged creatures are very kind, if a little playful and mischievous, and even helpful. They're very attracted to people with magic and in the spring would even lead Sakura and me to large fields of sweet berries and fruit trees. The fairies Clow faces though, like everything in this arena, are vicious tricksters that make friends with and lead unsuspecting tributes to their deaths. Three other tributes die this way and the fairies Clow meets almost lead him astray too, but Clow decides not to follow because he insists on going in moving in the same direction, away from the mountain.

Yuuki turns out to be pretty resourceful for a girl who has no magic and leaves the Cornucopia with only a small backpack. Inside she finds a bowl, some dried beef, and a blowgun with two dozen darts. She turns the blowgun into a deadly weapon by dipping the darts in lethal substances and directing them into her opponents' flesh.

Four days in, the mountain erupts in a volcano. The volcano is bad enough, but the telltale sign of a powerful and violent fire spirit make it even deadlier. Between the volcano and the fire spirit, at least dozen players are killed, including all but five of the Career pack. With the mountain spewing lava, a fire spirit on the loose, and the meadow offering no means of concealment, the remaining thirteen tributes — including Clow and Yuuki — have no choice but to confine themselves to the woods.

Clow seems bent on continuing in the same direction, away from the volcanic mountain, but an impenetrable wall, that's definitely some type of magic with its eerie green walls force him to circle back to the center of the woods where he encounters three Careers. They may be much bigger and stronger, but Clow has two things going for him: magic and remarkable speed. He senses the two tributes before they're ever seen on camera and summons some kind of flowery shield to deflect the weapons they throw at him. He then kills two of the tributes by gathering the poisonous fragrances of the flowers in a round magical sphere and launching them into their faces before the third manages to get close to him. The last Career is about to slit his throat when a dart drops him to the ground.

Yuuki Koizumi steps out of the woods. "We'd live longer with two of us."

"Guess you just proved that," says Clow, rubbing his neck. "Allies?"

Yuuki nods.

They work better together. Between Clow's uncanny magical talent and Yuuki's resourcefulness, they get more rest, work out a system to salvage more rainwater, fight as a team, and share the food from the dead tributes' packs. But Clow is still determined to keep moving on.

"Why?" Yuuki keeps asking, and he ignores her until she refuses to move any farther without an answer.

"Because it has to end somewhere, right?" says Clow. "The arena can't go on forever."

"What do you expect to find?" Yuuki asks.

"I don't know. But maybe there's something we can use," he says.

They finally make in past the wall, by using a magic bell from one of the faller tributes. It somehow shatters the walls with a single touch from the bell in Clow's hands. On the other side, Yuuki and Clow they find themselves on flat, dry earth that leads to a cliff. Far below, you can see jagged rocks.

"That's all there is, Clow. Let's go back," says Yuuki.

"No, I'm staying here," he says.

"All right. There's only five of us left. May as well say good-bye now, anyway," she says. "I don't want it to come down to you and me."

"Okay," he agrees. And without exchanging any pleasantries, she walks away.

Clow skirts along the edge of the cliff as if trying to figure something out. His foot dislodges a pebble and it falls into the abyss, apparently gone forever. But a minute later, as he sits to rest, the pebble shoots back up beside him. Clow stares at it, puzzled, and then his face takes on a strange intensity. He lobs a rock the size of his fist over the cliff and waits. When it flies back out and right into his hand, he starts laughing.

That's when Yuuki begins to scream. She broke off the alliance, so no one could blame him for ignoring her, but Clow runs for her, anyway. He arrives in time to watch the last of a flock of candy pink birds, equipped with long, thin beaks, skewer her through the neck. Above her giddy fairies fly and laugh at the scene. Clow holds Yuuki's hand while she dies. It reminds me of Kero, how even though I killed his killer, Sakura and I couldn't save him.

Later that day, another tribute is killed in combat and a third gets eaten by a pack of those deadly squirrels, leaving Clow and a girl from District One to vie for the crown. She's bigger than he is and just as fast. Like most Magic Games, when the inevitable fight comes, magic and how much skill they have don't matter. What the final fight always comes down to is luck and who can outlast the other.

Their fight is bloody and deadly, both receiving what could well be fatal wounds, when Clow is finally disarmed, too weakened to use any magic. He staggers through the woods, holding his intestines in, while she stumbles after him, carrying the ax that should deliver his deathblow. Clow makes a beeline for his cliff and has just reached the edge when she throws the ax. He collapses on the ground and it flies over the cliff. Now weaponless also, the girl stands there, trying to staunch the flow of blood pouring from her empty eye socket. She thinks she can outlast Clow, who's starting to convulse on the ground. But what Clow knows, and what Sakura and I also know as we watch, is that the ax will return. When it flies back over the ledge, it buries itself in her head. The cannon sounds, her body is removed, and the trumpets blow to announce Clow's victory.

I turn off the tape and for a while Sakura and I sit in silence, not sure what to make of the ending.

Finally Sakura says, "It's like the force field in the training center. Whatever hits it bounces right off of it and comes back. Clow found a way to use it as a weapon."

"Not just in the last fight. The Capitol didn't expect it. It wasn't meant to be part of the arena. They weren't even supposed to get past that wall," I say, thinking of the bronze colored bell that Clow used to get through the eerie green wall. "I bet the Capitol had a time trying to spin that one. It was almost as bad as your suicide stunt. No wonder we've never seen it on television."

"Almost," Clow's voice says, causing Sakura and I to jump apart. "But not quite."

Clow doesn't appear angry that we watched his tape. In fact, he looks like he's been waiting for us to watch it. Sakura is looking at Clow strangely though. Finally she says, "You knew my dad."

Clow nods and then admits. "We were best friends. Almost like brothers. But after the games, it was… easier not to be."

Then things begin to fall into place. Clow's detachment from our district, the reason he's such a hermit, the reason I felt like he was always watching us in town over the years, the reason that until last year, he hadn't brought anyone back from the games. If you don't have anyone to care about, the Capitol can't use them against you. But everything changed when Sakura was reaped. He couldn't sit by and watch his best friend's daughter die, and I was only too willing to help him. Clow's not humoring me or working against me after all, no matter how much he appears to be, no matter how much he appears to plot with Sakura behind my back. He's about as hell bent as seeing that she lives as I am.

* * *

**AN:** So sleepy. So tired. No words right now except the next chapter is one ppl have asked me about so be ready.

Remember I ask for **at least** **2 review before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two.

Remember, reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


	15. Chapter 15

**15**

Suffering through my prep team as they fawn over me should be something I'm used to, but I didn't anticipate how emotional they'd be. At some point during the prep Mai, Tiki, and Nana each burst into tears _at least_ twice. Despite my practically infamous sullen attitude, they've become attached to me, and even I'm hard pressed not to comfort them. It's an impossible feat because even they have enough sense to know that I'm not coming out of this arena alive again. It's also bothersome because I'm the one that's going to be killed.

I hadn't been serious when I said it to Sakura. I was just trying to save face about admitting I felt bad for us. But maybe I was right when I said the Capitol people get attached to their victors. I still think they'll be fine as soon as blood is spilled, but maybe this time it will be more like watching their friends die, especially the victors with celebrity status.

By the time Tomoyo comes in, I'm particularly irritated and say tersely upon seeing her, "If you start crying, I'll kill you."

Tomoyo only laughs as she leads me to lunch and says, "Don't worry. I channel my emotions through my work."

"Good," I say. "I'm not going to be nice next time."

"I'll warn them," Tomoyo assures.

We don't talk much during lunch, and when Tomoyo does decide to speak, it's not about the upcoming ceremonies. Instead, she asks me about how things are going with Sakura.

"Fine," I say vaguely.

"Have you told her?"

"No."

"Why not?" Tomoyo asks simply. I'm glad she's not pouting and being dramatic like she was on Sakura's birthday.

"It's easier that way," I reply. I don't add that not telling her makes it easier not to have any regrets. I change the subject. "So will I have wings tonight?"

Tomoyo sighs like she wants to say something else about Sakura, but goes ahead and answers my question.

"Yes," she says. "But I'm going for something a tad different this time around."

When it's time to get dress, Tomoyo sends my prep team away and decides to transform me herself. She does my hair first and then brings out a pallet of makeup with pastel blues and purples, silver, grays, and, to my surprise, red. I raise my eyebrow at that, but Tomoyo simply smiles and says it's a surprise. She won't let me get even a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Then she puts me in my costume.

At first glance, it appears to be the same as last year, but when I put it on, Tomoyo presses the jewel at the center of my armor and finally lets me look in the mirror, I see that Tomoyo has recreated last year's costume. It's ripped in certain places. In particularly I recognize three long slashes across the side which would be the exact place the harpies cut me. It's made to appear that blood is seeping out. The crystal jewel in the middle of my chest is cracked, my armor is dented, and I'm stained with what's supposed to look like blood. The wings have returned, but rather than simply glowing with ethereal, angelic bluish, purplish while light, they have an angry red glow about them. In fact, my entire body does, right to my face, which Tomoyo has made up to make me look like a god. An angry god. Beautiful to look at, but entirely deadly. Sublime may be the word. I look like I've been in a long, tiresome fight, but despite all that, I'm more than ready for another round. Somehow, Tomoyo has managed to capture exactly how I've feel about the Quarter Quell.

"I want you to look just like last time. No waving, no smile. The crowd is beneath your notice."

"So in essence, be myself."

"Exactly," Tomoyo says as she presses the jewel on the center of my chest to take away the effects and then sends me downstairs.

Unlike last time, where all the tributes stayed at their chariots, this year the tributes are gathered in small groups with their mentors, talking to victors from other districts. Like I already knew and have pondered as both an advantage and a disadvantage, they all know each other and are friends. Since I'm friends with no one, I head straight to my chariot.

Sakura is already there, absently stroking the neck of our horse, but she's not alone. Standing next to her, leaning on the horse is Syaoran Li. Whatever he's saying is causing Sakura to giggle and glance away from him. I feel my eye twitch in barely concealed irritation as I approach Sakura from behind. It's not until Syaoran looks over Sakura's shoulder towards me that she notices I'm behind her and turns to look at me.

I barely recognize her in the smoldering, very burnt orange makeup that's on her eyelids and painted on her lips; the strapless burnt orange dress that fits at her torso and slowly begins to widen at her lower waist and continues to widen until it hits the floor, covering her shoes and accompanied with a long hooded burnt orange cape; her hair, sleek and straight, just touching the top of her dress and topped with a silver crown with a golden star with points that come out from all its sides. Thanks to the sparkling jewels all over the dress and cape, she still shines and sparkles like a star, but she's obviously not supposed to look like the innocent young girl from last year or even the girl in pink ribbons and frills who was consumed by love on the Victory Tour. Though the little girl from back then is still somewhere in there, not completely gone, this star has obviously grown up. Not only does her light shine in the darkness, it can burn.

I like it, but at the same time I don't. Fitting.

"Yue," Sakura says. "This is—"

I turn my attention away from Sakura and to the young man around my age standing behind her.

"Syaoran Li. I know," I reply. "Looks like you were having an interesting conversation. Care to share?"

Syaoran Li flashes his famous smile. The smile that, combined with his handsome looks, my female schoolmates used to fawn and gush over; the smile that got him all the sponsors he ever needed for his games; got him everything he could have ever needed in his games; kept him alive because the other tributes didn't see him as a threat; got him the trident that he used like an extension of his own arm are after growing up on boats and water his entire life; the smile that won him the games at only fourteen years of age five years ago.

The smile doesn't faze me as I wait for him to answer my question.

"Oh, this and that," he finally says. "You know, if Sakura had only been three months younger, she would have beaten my record."

"I'm aware," I say curtly.

Unbelievably, he's not intimidated. His smile never wavers.

"Actually, before you came over, I was asking what happened to all her pretty little girl dresses," Syaoran says.

"Obviously, she outgrew them."

"Yes," Syaoran agrees. He briefly glances at Sakura before adding, "Too bad about this Quell thing. She could have made out like a bandit. Jewels, money, anything she wanted. You too actually, Yue."

"I hate jewels. And I've got more money than I know what do with. Any suggestions?"

Syaoran shrugs. "I haven't dealt in money in years."

"Then how," I begin, stepping from behind Sakura to be next to her, "do your adoring fans pay for the pleasure of your company?"

I look at him in a way that lets him know I'm very aware of what I've said and what it implies. Something flashes in his eyes, but his smile never falters.

"Secrets," he whispers feigning that he wants no one to hear. "What about you, moon guardian? Do you have any secrets worth my time?"

I press my lips together in anger because I can't fluster him, but I pretend to look as indifferent, uninterested, and aloof as ever as I say, "I'm an open book. Everyone seems to know my secrets before I do."

"Unfortunately, I think that's true," he says.

I actually agree with him on that, but before I can say anything, I see something knowing flashes through his eyes. I know that look. It appears Sakura and I aren't the only ones who have been acting.

"We should get ready," Sakura steps in to say before either Syaoran or I can say anything else.

Syaoran nods and starts towards his chariot where his cousin is waiting. Before he leaves completely, he says, "Nice meeting you. Good luck."

When he's gone, I ask "What did he want?"

Sakura shrugs. Then she hesitates before asking, "Alright, you say I'm naïve, and that might be true, but even I noticed that battle of testosterone. What was that about?"

"Nothing," I say.

"Didn't look like nothing," Sakura says suspiciously. "If I didn't know any better…"

"If you didn't know any better, what?" I snap, unable to control my irritation.

"I'd say you were jealous," Sakura says with a teasing grin.

The makeup on my face hides the heat that rises to my cheeks, but I don't address her accusation. Instead I say as we climb onto the chariot, "Stay away from him."

"Are you serious?"

"He's trying to get to you," I reply.

Sakura doesn't say anything as she rolls her eyes. The grin that accompanies the gesture proves that she's not irritated though. If anything, she seems knowing. Something tells me she's starting to draw conclusions that aren't altogether wrong.

I suppress a groan. Perfect.

As the music begins and the procession starting to move, with Tomoyo and Demetrius nowhere in sight, Sakura and I decide to activate our costumes. I press the jewel at the center of my chest while Sakura presses a button in her cape and begins to glow a faint orange. As the crowd begins to get a view of us when we're at the doors, they begin to chatter excitedly.

"What are you supposed to do?" I ask

"Above everything. No waving. No smiling," Sakura says and then adds, "Essentially acting like you."

I try not to show my agitation at her for the subtle jab.

Just before our chariot starts to roll out into the faded evening light, Sakura grabs my hand and that's when I notice that rather than standing slightly behind her like I did last time, she's standing right next to me.

The excited voices turn into a universal scream as we come out, but both of us ignore it in favor of staring straight ahead. I do manage to catch a few glimpses of us in the screens set all over the city circle, and it's no wonder we've mesmerized the audience. While we still represent protection, safety, and light, like the seal that's become so popular in the nation, at the same time we're also powerful and deadly. Standing next to each other, hands clasped, we send a clear message to those who now try to disturb us after we've suffered. We're unforgiving.

The Capitol citizens aren't the only ones mesmerized. The other tributes can't stop looking at us, even when President Wang comes out to welcome us to the Quarter Quell. Then the anthem plays, we make one final round around the city circle and then make our way back into the training center. When the doors close behind us, Sakura and I finally relax and step off our chariot. Tomoyo and Demtrius are waiting for us. Again, Clow's not present and before we can ponder why, the attendants are ushering us to the elevators, seemingly uncomfortable with the comradery between the previous victors.

As we walk to the elevators, I notice Sakura's hand is still tangled in mine. She notices too and begins to take her hand away, but this time I tighten my grip, unwilling to let go. Sakura seems surprised by this, but doesn't try to pull her hand away again.

While we wait on the elevators, Kiara Abel from District Seven comes to Sakura's side. She snatches off her wood and leaf head dress and carelessly throws it on the floor. As she muses her fingers through her hair she says, "My costume's awful, isn't it? Under that damn stylist, our tributes have been dressed in trees for forty years. I wish we could have had Tomoyo or Demetrius."

Kiara's dress suddenly bursts into flames, which immediately dissipate, leaving her naked save for her slippers. When the elevator comes, she steps on with us. To my dismay, she decides she wants to talk to me as we ride up to her floor. She starts off talking about Cerberus and how he would come back after training talking about how I was so fun to mess with. Then she's asking how the piano's going to which I answer vaguely with mild interest, all the while avoiding her gaze and trying to hide how uncomfortable I am around her behind.

When we make it to her floor and she leaves, I stare after her and quickly decide that all the years of mentoring games and coming to the Capitol has driven most of the victors insane.

As we make our way to the last floor, Sakura tugs on my hand and says, "Laugh a little, Yue."

When I look at her, I notice that the corner of her lips are twitching.

"There's nothing funny about this," I snap.

"Yes it is," Sakura says. Then she lets go of my hand to lean on the wall as she laughs.

"Do tell what," I say furrowing my eyebrows wondering if whatever has gotten to the other victors has gotten to her.

"They're messing with you."

"So I gathered," I grumble recalling my interaction with Syaoran Li and my talk with Kiara.

"The proud, stoic, and honorable moon guardian," Sakura teases as we step off the elevator and into our suite. "So pure."

I scoff and roll my eyes. Me? Pure? Hardly.

"See," Sakura says. "You act so untouchable. They want to get under your skin and make you squirm."

Irritated by Sakura to no end at this point, I snap, "You would know wouldn't you?"

"Would know what?"

I promised myself I wouldn't let it get to me, that I wasn't going to say anything, but I've had enough of all Sakura's mixed cues and indifference lately.

"That's what you've been doing these last few months. Trying to get under my skin with this fiery, indifferent attitude towards me lately," I snap.

Sakura stares at me for a few moments and then asks nonchalantly, "If I was, why would you even care?"

In that moment, I almost admit to having something more than platonic feelings for her. I almost admit that I hate the way she's treating me because now I feel like just another face in the crowd. I almost admit that I can't stop thinking about her and that I feel like some run of the mill horny teenager because every time I look at her, I want to kiss her again. I'm ready to do and say just about anything to make her stop acting like this and turn the tables on her.

Fortunately, and maybe unfortunately, Clow walks into the area and asks, "Is everything alright?"

I look at Clow and then back at Sakura, quite frankly fed up with everyone right now, and it has nothing to do with the Magic Games. I know how to deal with the Magic Games. But what I don't know how to deal with are the rollercoaster of emotions I've been feeling lately and can't get rid of no matter how much I try to will them away or try not to think about them. Feeling overwhelmed and unable to control my temper any longer, as Tomoyo, Demetrius, and Sonomi are stepping off the elevator into the suite, I reply to Clow.

"Everything's fine," I snap. "Just fucking peachy."

Everyone stares at me in stunned silence, save for Sonomi who gasps loudly. I ignore their reactions as I press the jewel in the middle of my costume to turn off the effects. Then turn on my heel and storm to my room.

For a while I simply sit on my bed and stew in my anger. The only thing that makes me get up is Sonomi knocking on the door to summon me for dinner. But even though I get up, take off my costume, wash off the makeup and dress in a simpler outfit, I don't go to dinner, and no amount of Sonomi banging on the door and telling me it would be rude not to come to dinner persuades me.

I watch the recaps of the opening ceremonies alone in my room. It's a small wonder the crowd went wild when Sakura and I came out. We look young, strong, and beautiful in our costumes, the very image of what a tribute is supposed to be. But the rest of the tributes, many of them worn with age, illness, and addiction, look pitiful and disgusting dressed up in silly costumes. Only a few, like Syoaran and Meiling, who are around my age, can pull off the look with some dignity.

After the recaps, there's another knock at my door. I ignore it, but the knocking persists. It can only be Sakura, but I'm not even in the mood to be around her right now. Still, the insistent knocking is getting on my nerve, so I get up to open the door with the intention of glowering at whoever is there until they go away.

The person at the door is the last person I expect. In fact, I didn't at all expect Demetrius, with his pale skin, spiky black hair and affinity for black makeup, to be at my door. In the last year, I've barely said more than a word to him. As far as I'm concerned, he's just Sakura's stylist.

I don't show my surprise, hoping he'll eventually go away. He doesn't. Instead, he brushes right past me and into my room.

"Get out," I say immediately.

"Don't be such a sourpuss, Yue," he says as he makes himself comfortable on my bed.

"What do you want?"

"To talk?"

"To me?"

"Who else?"

"Why?"

Demetrius sighs. "Because everyone else is quite frankly weary of your behavior. Since I've had little dealings with you, I decided to save everyone the trouble and talk to you myself."

"Weary of my behavior?" I ask, deciding it would be much easier to just humor Demetrius than glare at him, because he doesn't look like he'll be going away any time soon. "It's everyone else being strange and distant and generally insufferable, not me."

Demetrius laughs and then gives me a wry look as he says, "Got a taste of your own medicine and found out it was bitter, hm?"

"I don't act like they've been acting. I'm not strange. Distant, maybe. And I try not to be too insufferable…" I say, but even I can't find a way to argue with Demetrius. He's right, and he knows I know it.

Demetrius laughs again. "It's okay, Yue. Sometimes it takes an outsider to get you to see when you've been acting like a right bastard."

I cringe. "Sakura must talk to you a lot."

"As much as you talk to Tomoyo," he says. Then he says, "Yue, they just want you to open up a little. They want you to take off the mask sometimes and show how you're really feeling rather than acting above it all."

"So you're asking me not to be myself?" I say, latching on to a reason to kick Demetrius out my room.

"No. That's exactly what we want. We want you to be yourself. All of yourself. Like in the Magic Games and on the Victory Tour."

"None of that was me," I deny. "That was an act. What the audience wanted."

"Not all of it," Demetrius says. "Not when you volunteered to go into the games with Sakura or when you told everyone during the interviews she was a sparkling light in the darkness or when you laughed when that flower spirit danced with her or letting that girl stand next to you on stage and your speech for Kero. I could go on, but I think you get the point. People felt those things. They were genuine. If they hadn't been, you wouldn't have been able to affect the change that you've affected thus far. And most importantly, you wouldn't have made the young woman across the room fall so madly in love with you that she wanted to die rather than live without you."

I sigh and then speak before I can change my mind about saying anything. "But every time I've done those things, they used it against me."

There's no need to specify who they is. Demetrius very well knows.

"So you're going to let them win?" Demetrius asks. "You're going to back down and hope you can make everyone hate you to keep them safe? I thought you were a fighter, Yue."

"I am."

"Then keep fighting. Not just in the arena when that bow and arrow is back in your hands, but outside the arena. Don't let them paralyze you. Show them you're not afraid to be you," Demetrius says. Finally, he stands up and heads to the door.

He's given me a lot to think about, but I have one last question for him.

"Why are you helping me?" I ask.

"Two reasons. One is that even though she's not acting like she cares, you're breaking that young woman's heart over there."

"That's going to happen anyway."

"Maybe. But let it be _their _fault, not yours. Two," Demetrius continues, "is that you and I have a common interest."

A common interest? I start to ask Demetrius what that is, but he's opened the door and standing at the other side of it is Sakura. I press my lips together as my heart starts to flutter at the site of her, now out of her costume and makeup.

"Demetrius?" she asks. "What are you-?"

"Come on Sakura. Let's go to bed. You have a long day tomorrow," Demetrius says putting his hands on her shoulders. Then he glances back at me and says, "Yue is fine. Just needed a little time to clear his head. You can see him in the morning."

With that said, Demetrius closes the door behind him and I hear the two retreat from my doorway, Sakura pestering Demetrius to tell her what he was doing in my room all the while.

* * *

**AN:** And now things start to get even more interesting...

Remember I ask for **at least** **2 review before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two.

Remember, reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


	16. Chapter 16

**16**

I wake up early the next morning, shower, and get dressed in the outfit Tomoyo sent me. When I'm done, I'm left with two hours to spare before Sakura and I are expected to go down for training. Normally, I wouldn't bother getting up this early, but I have something I need to do.

I thought about what Demetrius said all night. While I care very little about what most people think of me, the Capitol included, I care very much about what Sakura thinks of me. Hence the reason I find myself knocking on her door instead of still sleeping two hours before training. It's very likely she's still asleep, but last year she claimed she was up for hours before I made my appearance, so I'm hoping the same is true this year.

Sakura opens the door, looking like she just rolled out of bed and hasn't had any sleep to boot.

"Nightmares," I say.

"What else?" she asks irritably, and I note that she hasn't moved aside to let me in the room.

"You could have come to my room," I say.

"Wasn't that bad," she lies and before I can say anything else she says, "What do you need?"

My first instinct is to become indignant at her attitude, but then I remember that I probably very well deserve this and let out a breath instead, letting go of some of my pride with it.

"I…" I trail off. I'm terrible with words. The only reason most people think otherwise is that I don't talk often and when I do speak, I've usually let it simmer for a while and overanalyzed it to death. Without doing that, I have little tact. But when it comes to things like this, I always worry that I'll give too much away.

Sakura looks at me with impatient expectance, looking much like she wants to close the door in my face. I hope she doesn't. I don't know if I'll be able to suck up my pride and try this again if she does that.

I force myself to stop worrying and just start talking. Hopefully Sakura gets it.

"I'm sorry. I've been terrible to you lately. There's just so little time and I didn't want you to suffer any more than necessary. But I'm going to try at least until all this is over and…"

Sakura holds up her hand in a gesture for me to stop. She then quenches her eyes shut and rubs the side of her head before opening her tired eyes again.

"Sorry," she says with an embarrassed smile. "I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I didn't hear a word you just said."

I stare at her in her oversized shirt, hair in a haphazard and mused bun looking both annoyed with me, but patient and longing at the same time.

I laugh a little, causing Sakura to fully awaken and raise her eyebrows at me. Finally, she moves out the way to let me in her room.

When she closes the door behind her, I decide to try again and because I'm so terrible with emotional words, I decide to do something else. I pull her to me and embrace her, hoping that somehow it conveys to her all the words I can't find, but want to say. I won't pretend that one go hug will erase all the suffering I've put her through this last year, even though I didn't mean it (most times), but it's a start. And my actions always have spoken much louder than the words I can't bring myself to say.

"Yue, are you okay?" Sakura says gently, in a tone she hasn't used in months. She's asking not because it's obligatory and couldn't care one way or another, but because she genuinely wants to know and does care.

"I'm fine," I say still smiling at her. Then I make my way to the menu in her room and suggest we have breakfast alone today. She agrees, and since she's better at using the system than I am, she orders. At first I just want coffee but then Sakura reminds me that I didn't eat dinner last night and forces me to have an omelet.

It's not until we're almost done with breakfast that Sakura says, "Sorry."

"For what?"

"Last night. Well more than last night. You were right. I've been trying to purposely rattle you lately, and it shouldn't have been funny. I'll stop," Sakura says.

"You have nothing to apologize for."

"I do," she insists.

"You don't," I say with a firm stare. Then I say, "You gave me a taste of my own medicine. And guess what?"

"What?" Sakura asks seriously.

"I hated it."

It has the desired effect. Sakura laughs, cheeks turning a faint red. When she's done she says, "I promise. I won't act that way anymore."

I start to say that she better not, but then something Demetrius said the previous night comes to mind. I'm not the only one who needs to take off their mask every now and then.

"No. People should see that side of you," I decide. "Show everyone you can fight back. Show them you're not a little girl who can be pushed around and always needs to be protected."

"Is that what you think?"

"I said to everyone else," I correct and then add, "And whether you need and want me to or not, I'm going to protect you anyway."

Sakura beams, shining brightly in her happiness even without her sparkling dresses.

Just after she finishes breakfast, Sonomi knocks on the door and tells Sakura that it's time to get up in a much softer tone than she's ever used with me.

"You have a big day, and you don't want to be late," Sonomi says.

I roll my eyes and reply before Sakura can. "We'll be out soon."

Sonomi lets out an "eep."

"Oh… Yue," she says through the door. "Didn't know you were in here. Well… be prompt."

I look at the door with my head tilted and asks, "She sounded surprised I was in here. Does everyone know we were angry at each other?"

"Well when you storm off like you did, and I tell everyone I don't want to talk about you at dinner…" Sakura trails off. Then she looks at me thoughtfully and asks, "You know what they think we were doing in here right?"

I sigh in irritation. I may be unaware of most things when it comes to romance, but I notice the more obvious things.

"Don't remind me," I groan. "It was bad enough on the Victory Tour. I'm just glad Toya never found out about that rumor. Wonder how much he would have approved then."

Sakura laughs as she stands up and goes in the bathroom. When she comes out thirty minutes later, she's dressed for the day and thrown her hair in a braid over her shoulder. Our departure from the room together is by no means discrete, but neither of us care what anyone thinks anymore. When we arrive in the dining room, Clow can't help but tease, "Had a good night?"

"Ha, ha," I say as Sakura laughs. Then I ask, "We don't really need to strategize, do we? Everyone already knows what everyone can do."

"That's true. Which is why I have only two things to advise you about. Stay in love," he says in a warning tone that tells us that we better not dare get angry with each other during training. "Next, make friends."

"No," I say. "I'm not trusting any of them."

"That's what you said about Kero and Chiharu," Sakura points out.

"That was different. No one knew each other. It was a clean slate. All the other victors have known each other for years," I say.

Clow cuts in and says, "Which is exactly why you need to make friends."

"And then what? How long would an alliance with Syaoran Li last if it came down to us and Kiara Abel?" I ask.

"That's true," Clow agrees. "But there's no one in the history of the Magic Games with an affinity for the spirits like Sakura. And you can fight, Yue. And you're both popular with the audience. That alone would persuade anyone."

"I am not teaming up with the career pack," I say, leaving no room for argument.

"Then start your own career pack. They're all victors," Clows says with a longsuffering sigh.

I start to say something else, but Sakura shoots me a pointed look to which I raise my chin and ignore. While I may have decided to be less distant and indifferent, it's not going to stop me from saying what I think about this.

Finally Clow simply says, "Just remember these aren't a bunch of scared kids you're dealing with. No matter how sick and decrepit some of them look, they're all experienced killers."

Which is why I'm not going to feel bad about killing them all in the arena, I think to myself though I grudgingly tell Clow I'll try. I doubt anything will come of my efforts though. Making friends is the kind of thing Sakura's good at.

We arrive at training a little early and only Esha and her district partner at there. By ten, only a little over half the tributes have come down, but the woman who runs the training does her introductory speech right on time anyway. It's pointless though. All of us have been through this speech where we're told about all the stations and the ways most of us will die. Then she allows us to train.

Unlike last year, Sakura and I decide to split up this year. Shockingly, she waltzes right over to Jai, Esha's partner from District Two, and the man from District Eleven to practice throwing spears. Both men appear shocked by her approach and a few words are exchanged before the two burst into hearty laughter and begin to make a game out of who can throw the spears furthest. Clow told me to make friends, but since Sakura appears to be doing such a good job at that and anyone who wants to make an alliance with her knows were a package deal, I go over to an empty station. There are no stations with magic to choose from, so I settle with the knot tying station.

I didn't visit it last year, but I know how to tie a few knots because of the time I sprained my shoulder and couldn't pull back an arrow and was thus forced to teach myself how to make snares. The trainer at the station takes interest in me when he realizes I seem to have some knowledge of knot tying and for almost two hours, he teaches me various knots, even some that I'll probably never use.

"There's an easier way to do that knot," says Meiling Li as she comes up to me.

My first instinct is to retreat from the average-heighted and toned dark haired girl, but then I remember that I did tell Clow that I'd at least try making friends. Meiling walking up to me couldn't be a more perfect opportunity.

"Is there?" I ask evenly.

Meiling grabs a piece of rope and step by step, shows me a better way to make the knot. When I show her the finished product, she nods in approval and says, "Good enough."

I look at her warily, not sure what to make of her. Then she laughs and says, "Don't worry. I didn't come over here to antagonize you. I don't hate you like my cousin."

"He hates me," I repeat.

"Maybe hate is a strong word," Meiling says. "I think his words were that you act like you're so above everyone else."

"He's not the first person to think something like that," I say. "In a way, he's right."

Meiling nods and says, "I know he is. Which is why I like you."

I raise my eyebrow. Meiling mirrors the motion and then asks, "Want to head over to the sparring area? I can teach you a few combat moves if you teach me how to shoot an arrow later."

Even though Kiara's in the same area, naked yet again and oiling herself down for a wrestling lesson, I agree to go over with Meiling. Over the course of the lesson, I learn quite a few things about Meiling. She's haughty, opinionated, brutally honest, and says the first thing that comes to her mind no matter how uncouth it might be. In fact, if she stopped to wonder about being a little more tactful and weren't so loud, she'd probably be very similar to me.

When the trainer manages to defeat Kiara during sparring, Meiling says loudly, "If you had paid attention to me earlier instead of being so focused on try to give Mr. Ice Prince an erection, you might have learned something."

Kiara storms away from the station in indignation and goes over to let off some literal steam if her fist engulfed in flame is anything to go by. Meiling and I stay at the combat station, where she teaches me more about combat. Of course, she can't spar with me herself since that's against the training rules, and there's only so much touching and adjusting of my stance that the trainer will let her do, but I catch on pretty quickly. I even manage to take the trainer down on a consistent basis as though I've had to fight someone like this before. Maybe I did in that other life I continue to dream about, and it comes so easy to me because somewhere in my subconscious, I remember it.

Before I can make good on my promise to teach her about archery, lunch is announced. I look around for Sakura. Last time I looked around for her she was at the station for making a fire with the victors from District Three, which prompted Meiling to say, "Looks like she met Nuts and Volts," which she explains is because the woman is a little crazy ("Aren't we all?" I reply) and the man is what everyone has dubbed a "technopath."

"The technopath thing is a joke. He's just so good with electrical stuff it's like magic," Meiling says when I ask.

Sakura's no longer with the District Three tributes anymore though, and has now made herself comfortable with a group of about ten other victors. I start to avert my gaze, but then she catches my eye and calls Meiling and I over to eat with them. I want to decline, but by the time I get to the dining area, the rest of the victors are dragging the tables together to make one large table for everyone to sit at.

Not feeling particularly hungry, I take a seat and wait for Sakura to take a seat next to me.

"I see you've made a lot of friends," I say dryly.

"And you've made one," Sakura says. "Clow will be glad about that."

Lunch passes without event and beyond Sakura and Meiling, I make no effort to be sociable. After lunch, Meiling and I finally manage to get the archery station to ourselves and I show her how to hold the bow, stand on her feet, and notch the arrow to which Meiling complains that there's a lot more to this than I made it appear during the games last year.

As she starts to pull back the string, she says, "Wow. This takes some strength. You must have really impressive upper body strength. Ever thought about trying your hand at using a mace?"

I shrug as she pulls back the arrow. I adjust her arm a little and then she lets the arrow fly. It hits the dummy in the head.

"Maybe I won't be the only archer in the games this time," I say.

Meiling huffs as she rolls her shoulders back in slow circular motions. "Don't count on it. That's harder than it looks. And you do it so fast."

I offer to show her up close, thinking maybe that will help, when I hear Sakura giggle from wherever she is in the training area. I turn in the general direction and find her at the knot tying station with Syaoran behind her, hands over hers as he helps her finish a particular knot. When they're done, he says something to her that causes her to hit him in the chest, but she's still giggling nonetheless.

"Yue," Meiling says waving her hand in front of my face. "You alright?"

I turn my gaze back to Meiling and nod.

"I hope you don't do that on a regular basis," she says. "That kind of thing will get you killed in the Magic Games."

I ignore Meiling and turn back to the training station. Without instructing Meiling on anything, I begin to shoot arrows at the standing targets. Once there's an arrow piercing a vital organ or two on all the targets, the trainer begins launching small fake birds in the air for me to hit as a challenge. Normally I'd think it's silly, but imagining that they all have Syaoran's face makes it more interesting. Eventually, I run out of arrows from my quiver and begin magically creating solid crystal arrows to shoot, which only increases the speed at which I can launch an arrow.

Finally the trainer launches five birds in the air and in quick succession, I shoot each one down. It's only when I clearly hear each one hit the ground that I realize the entire training center has gone quiet, not to mention cold. No one seems to notice the drop in temperature because everyone else is more focused on me with varying emotions expressed on their faces. One sticks out to me: intimidation. I've proven I'm as deadly and fierce as Tomoyo's costume during the opening ceremonies made me appear.

"Alright," Meiling says breaking the silence. "I'm putting in a formal request for you to be on my team."

* * *

**AN:** Remember I ask for **at least** **2 review before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two.

Remember, reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


	17. Chapter 17

**17**

Meiling's not the only one who wants to put in a formal request to be my ally. Clow informs us at dinner that at least half the victors have told their mentors that they want me as an ally.

"Question is, what did you do?" he asks.

"Made friends," I reply.

Clow nearly chokes on his drink as he makes a sound that's a cross between a laugh and a scoff.

"No. Really," Clow says.

"They saw him use a bow and arrow for the first time," Sakura says. "Like really use one. I didn't even know he was that good at it and I've been watching him for years."

"Really? Was it so good that Jai wants you?" Clow asks.

Sakura is only too happy to explain. "At first he used the arrows they gave him. And when those ran out he created these crystalline arrows in thin air. He was so fast, you could hardly see him pull back the bow. He shot the five birds the trainer shot into the air before they could even start falling towards the ground."

Hearing Sakura make ado over me like she is causes heat to rise to my cheeks though no one at the table notices.

"Well, you've both got your pick of the victors," Clow says.

"I don't want Jai," I say. "I don't want anyone except Meiling."

Clow nods. "Good choice."

"What about Syaoran? Or Kiara?"

I roll my eyes. "Are you serious? I can't stand either one of them."

"They're nice," Sakura argues. "Okay, what about Chun and Jin?"

"Who?"

"From District Three."

"Nuts and Volts," I reply as I feel my left eye begin to twitch.

"Yue!"

"You're trying to get under my skin again, aren't you?" I ask.

Clow sighs. "I'll tell everyone you're still making up your mind."

I still haven't made up my mind by the time training ends. After my display the first day of training, no one is trying to get under my skin anymore. They still tease some, but more like Cerberus used to tease me. Annoying still, but mostly good natured. Truthfully, I don't particularly dislike any of them_ too _strongly. Though I'm still more inclined to be around Meiling, Kiara offers to show me the different ways to swing an ax in exchange for archery lessons, and Syaoran and I actually manage to have a serious conversation where he's not flashing me that charming smile of his, even though I still hate how friendly he is with Sakura. I even try to talk to the tributes from District Three at Sakura's insistence. After five minutes, I politely excuse myself because I have no patience for Jin's half-finished sentences and Chun's rambling about how the nearly invisible shield that protects the Gamemakers has a chink or a weak spot in it. I have no clue what she likes about them.

I push out all thoughts of the other tributes as we wait on our private sessions with the Gamemakers. Truthfully, no one is sure what they'll do. The Gamemakers already know how dangerous we are. We all managed to win the Magic Games once before.

"Got anything yet?" Sakura asks.

"No," I say and then ask, "What did you do last year?"

I remember she was very vague and cryptic about it, probably to humor me because I was so convinced she couldn't protect herself, which she's proven time and time again that she can… somewhat.

"The shadows," Sakura says.

"Shadows?" I ask.

"In the training room. There are a lot of shadows and… well last year there was a spirit that could control and travel through the shadows lingering around and I asked it to help me. It would guide me through the shadows and I would disappear from one side of the room and appear on the other behind a dummy and spear it," she says.

"There was a spirit in the training center" I say slowly. "Is it here now?"

"Yes. It lives in my shadow."

I blink. "What?"

"It followed me. I didn't realize it until a few months ago, but it… it kind of literally lives in my shadow."

"So it's here?" I ask just to make sure.

"Yes, but you don't want to meet him. He likes to play tricks on people," Sakura warns. "He's wanted to play a trick on you for a while, but I won't let him."

I don't say anything more after that. It's not like it really matters and the Gamemakers can do nothing about it. We aren't allowed to take anything with us into the arena, but spirits do what they want. And if a spirit wants to live in Sakura's shadow, there's little the Gamemakers can do to force it away. It would be as hard as taking Sakura's magic from her.

We sit in silence for a while until Sakura asks, "How are we going to let these people die, Yue?"

I'm honestly trying not to think about it, because under different circumstances, I'd probably be more prone to protect them all, just like I wanted to protect to Chiharu, like I was too late to protect Cerberus… I furrow my eyebrows as something comes to me that will surprise the Gamemakers.

Finally, my name is called.

When I come in, the mood is very different from last year, where they were practically ignoring me until I shot a magic arrow through their force field last year. Most of them seem apprehensive of me, and for some reason, Kaho, the new head Gamemaker who I danced with in the Capitol during the Victory Tour, is pointedly ignoring my gaze.

Since I've got their attention, I decide to get started. I have fifteen minutes and though I've done this trick dozens of times before, I've never done it on such a large scale, and I'm not sure how long it will take.

The most vivid image of Cerberus that I have is of him right after he died, ax with Sakura's seal engraved on it lying in his hands, Sakura's flowers covering the ugly wound on his chest, eyes closed. I've always been somewhat bothered that this is how I remember him most, but at the moment, it suits my purpose as a large crystalline sphere begins to grow in from of me and take the shape of the image I'll never be able to erase from my head. And now, as the realization of what I'm showing them dawns on their faces, hopefully the Gamemakers will never forget it either.

When I'm done, I stand next to the crystalline sculpture lying flat on the ground and wait for the Gamemakers to address me, unlike last year where I dismissed myself from the room. The reactions differ. Some look shocked, others angered at my audacity, and one or two even looked impressed. Kaho Mizuki, though, appears to look thoughtful and intrigued.

"You can go now," she says with a casual glance at me.

I walk out the training room and to the elevators. As the elevators close, I notice that the Gamemakers are now furiously whispering to each other. It's not as satisfying as the reaction I got last year, but I'm not sure anyone will ever be able to top shooting an arrow through their force field.

No one is in our suite when I arrive and so I make my way to my room and fall asleep until Sonomi comes banging on the door to tell me to come to dinner. By the time I decide to make my way there, soup is already being served. As soon as I sit down, Clow asks us about the training.

Sakura and I look at each other, indicating that both of us wants the other to go first. I furrow my eyebrows at her. Why would she want me to go first? She can't be trying to humor me this year, and she's promised not to do anything to purposely get under my skin, so why would she want me to go first? Especially considering I should probably save my stunt for last. When Sakura doesn't appear to be willing to go, I decide to reveal what I did during my session.

"I made a figurine," I say.

"A figurine?" Tomoyo says.

"Using the same magic Ruby showed me in the games last year," I say.

"The daggers?" Demetrius asks.

"What did you make?" Clow asks in wonder.

"Cerberus after he died. With his ax and Sakura's flowers," I say nonchalantly.

Everyone at the table is quiet. Then Clow asks, "What made you do that?"

I'm not really sure. It's hard to put into words, not to mention what else was I supposed to do? They know I can shoot a bow and arrow. They were watching me shoot that first day of training too.

Finally I reply, "I wanted it to haunt them like it haunts us. It's their fault he died."

"Yue," Sonomi whispers harshly, looking around like someone might be listening. Truthfully, someone probably is. "That sort of idea is forbidden. You'll only make things harder for you and Sakura."

I start to ask her how the Capitol is going to do that. They mapped out our entire future after the games and then took it from us by throwing us back into the arena, so they can't threaten to kill us. I'm not really sure what else they can do. And whatever they decide to do, I've decided I won't let myself be at all surprised by it.

Before I can say this to Sonomi though and possibly hurt her feelings in the process, Sakura speaks up.

"Would hanging a dummy and painting the old Head Gamemaker's name on it make things any worse?" Sakura asks.

I spoke too soon. Shooting a magic arrow through the force field at the Gamemakers can be topped. And somehow, I'm not surprised Sakura is the one who managed it.

As everyone in the room turns to look at her in stunned disbelief, my mind races as I try to figure out what could have possessed Sakura to do something so daring and violent. Even when she loses her temper, she's not violent. Even in the Magic Games when she had to fight off Ruby and Spinel, it was in defense.

"Sorry," Demtrius says. "Did you say you hung the old Head Gamemaker?"

Sakura nods.

"Sakura," Sonomi whispers slowly, "How did you even know…?"

"I didn't think it was a secret," Sakura says finally looking up, some of the attitude that she had been directing toward me in the last few months seeping into her tone and expression. "President Wang didn't act like it was."

Finally accepting that Sakura isn't joking, anger begins to well inside me.

"What were you thinking?" I ask.

Sakura doesn't falter as she says, "I was thinking I would show them I could fight back. That I'm not a little girl who always needs to be protected."

How I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from saying those words.

"And I wanted to show them they're not as protected as they think," Sakura adds.

"Sakura!" Sonomi says.

"It's true," Sakura says simply.

Sonomi promptly leaves the table with her hand pressed to her face. I think it's the first time Sakura has actually upset the woman, and she doesn't look very apologetic for it either. The only time Sakura looks like she regrets what she's done is after dinner when we're gathered around the television and the training scores are revealed. We both get twelves.

No one celebrates.

Clow pinches the bridge of his nose and mutters something about it being bad enough having one rebellious tribute to mentor, but now he has two. Then he stands and goes to his room without saying another word.

"You all should go to bed," Tomoyo says offering a tight smile. "You've had a long day."

Sakura and I don't argue and head to our rooms. We're halfway down the hall when Sakura says, "Sorry."

I don't have to ask her for what and there's no point being angry about it. It would be hypocritical to be. Not only have I done my share of daring and rebellious deeds in the last year, but I was the one who told her to fight back. What I didn't remember was that when people like Sakura finally do fight back, they fight back hard. Just like the districts did in the Dark Days. Just like the districts continue to fight and rebel even now.

"I'm only upset I didn't think of it myself," I say.

Sakura laughs. "You would be. What's worse, hanging the old Head Gamemaker or shooting an arrow at them?"

"Me shooting an arrow at them cannot touch your stunt," I reply with a slight smile as I head for my room.

Sakura grabs my hand to stop me. When I turn to face her, Sakura is blushing, eyes cast down to avoid my gaze. For the first time in months, I see a glimpse of the innocent, hopeful girl that's all but disappeared in the last year.

"I was thinking," she begins. She takes a deep breath and peeks up at me. "I was thinking we should… we should enjoy our last days."

"You're not going to die," I say immediately, a harshness I hadn't intended slipping into my tone.

"Yue," Sakura says sighing, looking like she wants to cry but is too weary to do so. "Don't kid me. I know President Wang probably gave the order to have us both killed as soon as possible in the arena. Just… Just let's enjoy the present. No regrets."

Instinct tells me to argue with her, to shout at her that she's not going to die but if she was so eager she should have let me know so I didn't waste my time volunteering for the games again. Not that I wouldn't have anyway, but saying so would make Sakura stop saying those things. Then Demtrius' words come me.

_Let it be their fault._

And that's when I remember that even though I have no intention of letting Sakura die, there's no way I'm getting out the arena with her again. If the Capitol accomplishes nothing from these games, if they fail to crush the rebellion with their victors' deaths, they're going to make sure Sakura and I don't get a chance for a happily ever after. These may not be Sakura's last days, but they really are _our _last days.

"Fine," I say simply.

Sakura looks up at me in surprise.

"What?"

I feel a brief tinge of guilt that she expected me to reject her yet again.

"Fine," I repeat. "No regrets."

That said, we stop by Sakura's room so she can put on pajamas before going to my room. Like most nights, I don't fall asleep until well into the early hours of morning, while Sakura falls asleep almost as soon as her head hits the pillow. By the time I wake up again, Sakura's already awake, staring at the ceiling and in no rush to get up. I can look at her eyes and tell she's had no nightmares tonight.

To our surprise, the mute red-headed girl who served us last year comes into the room with a note from Sonomi that she and Clow have agreed that we know how to handle ourselves given the recent Victory Tour, and we need no further coaching.

"I think this the first time Clow's actually been angry at us enough not to talk to us," I reply.

Sakura shakes her head. "He's not angry with us. Just sad. We're the closest thing to family he's had in decades. Probably like his own children, if you think about it. How hard it must be for him to look at us and know we very likely won't be coming back."

I've never considered Clow a father figure to me, mostly because I do my best to avoid him. But maybe he does see me as a son. A very difficult son, but a son nonetheless. It's the only way he's dealt with me with as much patience as he has thus far.

Since there's nothing in particular I want to do, Sakura decides that we'll spend the day together on the roof. Within the next hour, after she orders just about everything on the menu in my room and gathers blankets and cushions, we're sitting in the garden on the roof having a picnic. I lie down on the blanket while Sakura sits next to me. At first I can't bring myself to fully relax. Somehow, this moment seems too good to be true, and I keep waiting for someone to ruin it.

"If anyone comes to bother us," Sakura begins as though sensing my unease, "we'll tell them they're interrupting our first date."

"First date?"

"Well, last date really," Sakura says. "If you can count everything on the Victory Tour as a dates."

They don't really. But even so, the Capitol would probably assume we went on dates and did everything else they expect lovers to do when the cameras weren't on us. Of course they probably have more elaborate ideas of dates. In District Twelve, a walk through the meadow or town is the only type of date anyone can afford and among the more well to do, a special dinner. In fact, the very concept of falling in love is different in District Twelve than in the Capitol. The people in the Capitol can wait around for it to come, but in District Twelve, waiting for love can get you killed. Many people "fall in love" and get married for survival's sake more than for love's sake. The kind of relationship the Capitol think Sakura and I have is rare in the districts.

"But without the Magic Games," Sakura adds. "It's our first date."

Normally her sentimental rambling would annoy me, but today I don't let it. Today I'll play into her fantasy.

"Without the Magic Games, we wouldn't be on a date right now," I say closing my eyes. Before Sakura can even take my statement the wrong way, I add, "If it weren't for the Magic Games, and I wanted to take you on a date, I would have waited until you were out the reaping."

Sakura laughs. "That's assuming you would have asked at all."

"You're right. But you would have asked."

"And you'd have said yes?"

"Eventually," I say honestly. I can imagine myself saying no to her at first, after getting over my initial surprise. But eventually, I would have given in. "Who else would I have said yes to?"

I can sense Sakura's confusion at my openness, but I don't have the energy to lie to myself today or deny the fact that if the Magic Games had never happened, Sakura's and my relationship probably would have progressed without anyone's meddling. And many of our days probably would have been spent a lot like today.

Sakura's quiet for an unusually long time after that, and I open my eyes to see her staring into the distance, lost in a daydream. When I call her name, she blinks and looks at me.

"Just enjoy the present," I say, echoing her earlier words.

She nods and for the rest of the day we stay on the roof. Late in the afternoon, we both fall asleep, and then wake back up just before sunset. As she watches it, Sakura begins to create a crown of flowers. Just as it begins to get dark, Sakura says, "Look. The tower's lighting up."

I look into the distance at the unique metal structure Sakura is pointing at. It's the only public remnant of the long forgotten world before Magea.

"Clow told me they tried to destroy it when Magea was first created."

"Oh?" I say.

"Yeah. But it's protected by the magic of three friends who used to spend time there, so they had to build the Capitol around it."

"This sounds like another star mistress story," I reply.

Sakura looks down at her nearly finished crown as she says, "It does. Doesn't it?"

Curious about the crown now, I ask where she learned it and regret asking as soon as she answers, "It's one of the knots and weaves Syaoran showed me."

Sakura laughs when I press my lips together in effort to say nothing mean about the District Four tribute.

"He's really nice."

"I know," I grumble. "That's the problem."

Sakura laughs again. "You don't have anything to worry about you know? He may be prince charming, but I meant it when I said he'd be too late because I already have a guardian angel."

Normally those kinds of poetic and romantic statements rub me the wrong way, maybe because I'm not the most sentimental and romantic person on the planet. And usually I feel so guilty about the uncertainty of my feelings for her, that I pretend Sakura never said the words. But today, it feels nice to hear. I look at her, an absent but serene look on her face as she makes her crown. And then, because I promised Sakura a day of no regrets and living in the moment, I allow two words to tumble out my mouth when the urge to say them suddenly hits me.

"Kiss me."

Sakura's fingers stop moving. The absent look leaves her face, though she looks no less serene. She blinks twice and slowly she turns to look at me and asks "Say that again?"

My heart is racing with nerves now. But I've already made the request once and no doubt she heard it. There's no use lying.

"Kiss me," I repeat.

"Why?" Sakura asks blinking.

"Because I want you to," I say.

"Yue…"

I can sense the question she wants to ask, but I'm not sure I can answer it if she does ask. Sakura seems to sense this and nods her head as she says, "Okay."

Sakura leans down towards where I lay on the ground, and there's no counting before our lips meet this time. Just like I hoped she understood everything I wanted to say from the hug I gave her a few mornings ago, I hope she understands what I want to convey now. Good-bye. I'll miss you. I probably could have loved you. And in return, she confirms that what I've been feeling these last few months aren't a fluke. Tomoyo called it a crush, but that seems too silly and insignificant of a word to describe the fire that burns through me. I moved my hand to her back and push, causing her to fall on top of me and erase the distance between us.

She pulls away first, pushing herself up and away from me, a blush on her cheeks as she stares at her lap, while I lay silently next to her.

Then she says, "I wish today didn't have to end."

"It's not over yet."

But it seems as though as soon as I say the words, the day starts to come to an end. We skipped dinner and no one summoned us, but we can't very well sleep outside tonight. Still though, even when I'm lying on my back staring at the ceiling in my room with Sakura lying silently on my chest, I feel like I have one last thing to say before I have to get in gear for the last fight of my life.

"Kameha," I begin.

Sakura shifts to look up at me. "What about her?"

"We talked when she was taking care of Toya. She said if it hadn't been for the Magic Games, it was only a matter of time before I fell victim to your charm and wiles and there were some blonde haired, green eyed children running around District Twelve," I say. Sakura says nothing, though I can feel her breathing stop as she holds her breath. I stroke her hair as I absently add, "Would have been nice."

* * *

**AN:** Another more lighthearted chapter before the more and more depressing stuff comes. Actually, this is about the last light hearted chapter of this story. So get ready because the interviews are next and the arena is after that.

Remember I ask for **at least** **2 review before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two.

Remember, reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


	18. Chapter 18

**18**

I don't sleep much that night. It's as though as soon as I tell Sakura what Kameha said, reality strikes me all at once. Suddenly, I wish Clow had done some coaching with us because I need a plan. Sure we're popular with the crowd now, but I need to give the Capitol something that will make them want Sakura to come out of the games for sure, something that will make them send her whatever they want. It helps that she's the youngest contender in the games, that we've got this star crossed lovers image going for us yet again, but that's not enough. I need more.

The next morning, my prep team's insistent knocking on the door awakens us and without thinking about it, I reply through the haze of sleep I finally fell into.

"Stop banging on the door and give us a minute," I groan.

They stop, giving Sakura and me a chance to awaken fully. Sakura gives me a displeased look as she finally awakens.

"You just make it worse," Sakura groans.

"Make what worse?" I ask.

"The gossip. I meant to sneak out of here before anyone came to get us," Sakura grumbles.

"Let them think what they want. You know the truth," I say with a shrug.

"Doesn't make it any less embarrassing!" Sakura says, face turning red.

I look at her, expectant of her elaboration.

"It would be fine if they kept it to themselves, but my prep team! They keep asking me all these embarrassing questions. And when I deny anything, they think I'm lying," she says.

It's taking all my willpower not to laugh, but even so, I can't hide the smile itching at my lips.

"Yue! It's not funny!"

I almost remind her that it also wasn't funny when the other victors were trying to get under my skin, but decide against it.

"They just do it because they know it bothers you. If you just ignored it, it wouldn't be fun anymore, and they would stop," I say though I'm not entirely sure. I'm just glad my prep team knows better than to bring up subjects like this with me.

"Easy for you to say," Sakura says as she opens the door to let my prep team in.

As soon as she sees Sakura leave the room, Nana bursts into tears causing Mai to say determinedly, "You remember what Tomoyo told us."

Nana nods and leaves the room leaving only Mai and Tiki to prep me, all without their usual excited rambling. The only time they talk is to direct each other or me as they do my hair, give me a fresh manicure, and put on light makeup to go with my suit. Near lunch, I feel something dripping on my shoulder and find that Tiki is silently crying as she tries to trim my hair, but can barely do so because her hands are shaking so bad. Mai gives her a look, and Tiki immediately puts down the scissors and leaves the room.

Mai finishes my makeup and then finishes my hair on her own, moving fast though she has no need to make up for her teammate's absence. We have enough time. When she's done, she stays long enough for Tomoyo to approve of my appearance. Then she looks at me as though she wants to say something, taking a deep breath to steel herself. Then she sighs and settles for hugging me, something she wouldn't have dared do under normal circumstances.

Even I can't help appreciating their sentiment, and it makes me wonder how much they really know about everything going on. At the very least, they know I'm not coming back. Tomoyo and I don't talk through lunch, and I eat very little to nothing even though Tomoyo insists I'm going to need my strength.

Once we're done, Tomoyo puts me in a purple and white suit with a hat that I pay little attention to. The only thing I do notice is that when it hits the light just right, the suit has an angry red tint like my costume. Then Tomoyo sends me on my way. With an hour or two left before I have to go downstairs, I sit in the living area and try to come up with what I'll say in my interview tonight. I wish Clow were here to give me some ideas, because the star-crossed lovers angle isn't enough. I need something that would be enough to cause rebellion in President Wang's very own Capitol if she were to die in that arena.

When it's almost time to go downstairs, I still have nothing. Sakura comes out with everyone else wearing a long yellow dress with thick skirts, a long hooded cape to match, and a silver tiara with a sparkling star on it. It makes her look like she looked at the end of the games last year. Harmless, innocent, much younger than she is, far from the fierce and powerful young woman in the opening ceremonies. I glance at Demetrius in question, but he's avoiding my gaze. I suppose I'll just have to trust him on this.

When we get downstairs, the other tributes are already there. We hear them talking long before we get to them, but when we do they fall silent. Then Syaoran grins and says, "Back to little girl dresses then?"

I don't necessarily have a target on any of their backs like I had on Ruby last year, but Syaoran is definitely pushing it. I'm about to come to Sakura's defense, but Sakura, rather than blush and stammer, shoots back, "Well compared to all of you looking old and ridiculous in all your lavish outfits, I guess I am."

While the older of the victors look insulted, Syaoran laughs loudly as we begin to line up while Kiara comes over and fixes Sakura's tiara and says, "That's the spirit, sweetheart. Show them what you're made of."

I find out Kiara means that in more ways than one. She wasn't just talking about to the other victors, but to the Capitol where the victors display just how betrayed and outraged they really are. Some like Jai and Esha act like this is just another Magic Game year and others are too drugged to say much of anything at all. Most of the rest are subtle but there are many who aren't afraid to come out and say exactly how they're feeling.

The tributes from District One start off by saying how much the Capitol people must be suffering because they'll lose us and that they thank the people for all the kindness they've shown. Chun questions whether the games this year are legal. Syaoran reads a poem to his one true love in the Capitol that makes me roll my eyes in disgust while both men and women faint because they think it's them. Meiling, Kiara, and Sang are the most vocal, though Meiling is polite when she says the creators must have never assumed the Capitol and the victors would form such a close bond, while Kiara and Sang outright say that if the president is all-powerful, he could do something but doesn't care.

All the while, I'm wondering how I'm going to top all this. How am I going to take advantage of all this anger and obvious rebellion to make the Capitol citizens, who have more power than they think even if they can't stop the games, use what little power they have, what guilt and horror they might feel, to save Sakura? How do I light this fuse?

When it's Sakura's turn, I can see the wisdom of Demetrius' dress. The Capitol citizens already feel bad, but the sight of Sakura, the youngest victor of all, looking so young and vibrant in her yellow dress with such a bright future ahead of her, tragically cut short is almost too much for everyone to bear. But only almost. It's not enough.

"So, Sakura. Is there anything you'd like to say to everyone tonight?"

"That I'm sorry," Sakura replies.

The entire crowd reacts, some shouting that she has nothing to be sorry for which causes Sakura to smile brilliantly at them.

"No. I am. I'm sorry you won't get to see me grow up. I'm sorry you won't see me get married. I'm sorry you won't see me in a wedding dress," Sakura says, solidifying Demetrius' choice to put her in this dress. "But don't worry about all that. Just… Live with me in the now."

With that one phrase, there isn't a dry eye in the audience.

Then Sakura says, "Isn't this dress just lovely?" and raises her hands in the air and twirls. And then the dress starts to smoke and burn, eating away at her dress. At first I'm alarmed, but then I look at Demetrius sitting in the crowd looking as calm as ever. So he planned this. The question is what? I glance at Tomoyo to see if she had any hand in this, but she looks as shocked and alarmed as the audience, glancing quickly at Demetrius before looking back at Sakura.

Finally, the flames stop, and Sakura slowly stops twirling. The yellow dress is gone and left in its wake is a more streamlined dress and cape that look like literal flames, mostly blue flames, with red flames that fade to orange, back to red and then blend in with the blue. But it can't be real flames, because it's not burning Sakura. The silver tiara with the sparkling star at the top shines and sparkles even brighter than before. She looks like she did in the opening ceremonies, except much more dangerous. Not only is she a star, a beacon in the darkness, but this star is close to causing a super nova.

_We have the same interest._

That's what Demetrius said. Somehow I have a feeling he knows about something that I've purposely not been made aware of, but I'll ask him about it later. He's given me the perfect opportunity if I could now only use it.

I pay little attention to the rest of the interview where Makato compliments the dress and makes Demetrius stand and bow still racking my brain over what to say. I should have discussed it with Sakura yesterday. She's always been better at this kind of stuff than I am. But instead of doing that I spent the day on the roof with her like we were a normal couple and fantasizing about ideas Kameha put in my—

Upon thinking of Kameha's words to me, I suddenly know how to push the Capitol and the Districts over the edge. It's bold for me, especially a publically private person like me, but if I play it right…

The crowd bursts into applause, drowning out the buzzer that says the time for the interview is up. I pass Sakura as I head to the stage, the flames of her dress trailing behind her.

When I get on stage, Makato starts his interview like all the rest, asking the easy questions. But when it becomes obvious I'm distracted, which I truly am, he asks the question I've been waiting on.

"So what was it like, Yue, when after all you've been through, you found out about the Quell?"

"I was angry," I admit truthfully, and it's probably going to be the only truthful thing I say tonight. "One minute, Sakura was joking about the fact that she'd be legally able to get married on her birthday in a month and the next… but Sakura wasn't angry at all. Instead she said not to worry about it and to enjoy the time we had left."

I pause and look at Makato, pretending to look conflicted. Then I take a deep breath and say, "Sakura and I said we wouldn't tell anyone. I insisted on it, but after tonight… I can't keep it secret from you all."

The entire crowd is holding their breath in anticipation. I pause for a few seconds, not too long because I don't have much time and then say, "We got married."

The entire crowd gasps and the cameras turn to Sakura, who looks stunned. Perfect. The media can say that she was stunned that I'd reveal something like this. I continue

"Nothing that's technically official, but just a little something on her birthday with family and close friends. We've been together our entire lives so signing a bunch of papers would have just been a formality," I say. "We just didn't want to have any regrets… Didn't work out that way. I wish we hadn't. I wish I hadn't let her convince me."

"But even a brief time together is better than none," Makato says.

"As the old saying goes," I say dryly, taking a deep breath to avoid something more sarcastic, like the fact that it's easy for Makato to say that when he and none of his children ever have to worry about being killed. "And I might be inclined to believe you if it weren't…"

"If it weren't for what?"

"If it weren't for the baby," I say quietly, barely above a whisper, but everyone hears it.

It's quiet for a moment as the crowd takes a moment to confirm what I've just said, murmuring to each other in disbelief. Then the crowd erupts in a deafening roar, and I have to fight to refrain from smiling in smug satisfaction that my plan worked. Good. Now they see. Now they sympathize because to the Capitol, the victors are their own, and by the end of the night, many of them will be imagining what it would be like if their own children were forced into these deadly games. At this rate, if he doesn't get everyone under control, President Wang will dealing with a rebellion in the Capitol by the end of the night.

Makato can't get the crowd to calm down, even when the buzzer rings. I leave the stage and go to my seat next to Sakura without saying another word. Not even the anthem playing as loud as it possibly can, signaling the victors to stand, can dull the roar below. When we're standing, I sense Sakura's hand reaching for mine and instinctively grab it. Then, not only are Sakura and I holding hands, but all the victors, even the one who look unsure that they should. It's the first show of unity amongst the districts since the Dark Days. Almost as soon as we've joined hands, the screen goes black but it's too late. The whole nation has seen.

Then the lights go out, and there's brief moment of disorientation until everyone realizes that Sakura's dress and tiara continue to shine in the darkness and all the victors follow her off stage. Somehow, Sakura, Meiling, Syaoran, and I have ended up in a small group as Sakura leads us to the elevators. We try to get on together, but a peacekeeper blocks Meiling's and Syaoran's way. Sakura's dress illuminates the dark elevator as we ride to our suite in silence.

Once we're in our suite, Sakura immediately turns to me.

"I think that topped my training session," she says quietly.

"It did," I reply. And no doubt the people in charge are furious at me, but it can't be said that I didn't go down fighting. If all the victors die in that arena, they won't be able to contain this.

"You don't usually do well with words like that," Sakura says carefully as we go to the window to watch the chaos happening floors below us. There's no telling who's watching us, so she can't say what she really means. That my brutally honest and indifferent personality doesn't lend well to elaborate dishonesty, and she can't believe I managed to spin such a tale.

I shrug. "I just thought why not confirm their suspicions and give them something else to talk about in the process."

We say no more as we wait. When the elevators finally open, Clow is alone.

Sensing our questions before we ask them, Clow says, "It's madness out there. Everyone has been sent home and the recaps of the interviews have been cancelled."

"What are they saying?" I ask, looking back at the people below.

"They don't know what to say," Clow says as he stands next to us. He puts a hand on the window, a gold bracelet with stars on his wrist. It must be Sonomi's team token for him. Finally Clow adds, "President Wang isn't going to cancel the games though."

"I know," I say. I hadn't even hoped to try to accomplish that.

"Everyone went home?" Sakura asks.

"That was the order," Clow says. "Though they probably won't have much luck getting through that chaos."

Which means I won't see Demetrius so I can ask him why he did what he did, because surely he knows there will be serious repercussions for Sakura's dress. Surely he knows what that meant to the Districts and now to the Capitol who saw her dress shining like a flaming beacon in the darkness, leading the victor's off stage.

"We won't see Sonomi," Sakura whispers. She's silent before saying, "Can you tell her…?"

Clow nods and we sit in silence for a moment, delaying the inevitable. Then, all of a sudden, Sakura practically tackles Clow in a hug, whispering something that's incoherent to my ears. Once she pulls away, she says, "Take care."

I should probably say something, but just like Sakura said earlier, I'm not good with things like this. Clow knows this too and so I only nod before turning to leave. Clow stops me.

"Yue," he says.

I turn to look at him. The look he's giving me is one I've never seen on his face before. I can't really describe it, but if I had to it seems somewhere between conflicted, resigned, and yet determined.

"Remember who the enemy is," he says to me.

I have no clue what he means by that and before I can ponder it, Sakura is dragging me off to her room, refusing to even let me go take a shower and get changed in my own room, as though she's afraid they'll try to keep us separated.

The night passes quickly and yet so slowly. Neither of us can really sleep, but at least one of us deserves to rest tonight. So without Sakura's prompting, I begin to sing because that always lulls her to sleep. It does for a while, but she's awake again long before Tomoyo and Demetrius arrive.

It takes a while for Sakura to let go and it takes me kissing her and assuring I'll see her soon to get her to allow me to leave.

Tomoyo and I wait for a few moments in my room and then we make our way to the roof. Just like last year, I'm taken into a hovercraft, my tracker is injected, and we take off. Tomoyo pressed me to eat something, but I refuse, and simply continue to glare out the window. In the end, Tomoyo only insist I drink water.

When we're in the launch room, I mechanically shower, get dresses in the fitted jumpsuit, padded belt, and nylon shoes with rubber soles. Tomoyo rambles a little about the material, but I ignore her and say instead, "I think Demetrius' dress beats anything you've designed."

Tomoyo nods numbly. "I know," she says. "I had no idea."

Then we wait, but as it gets closer to the time for me to leave, Tomoyo suddenly pulls me into a hug. Figuring it'll be the last time I see her again, I return the gesture.

"You know," I whisper, "You're the first friend I ever made on my own."

"So Sakura has told me," Tomoyo says as she lets go of me with tears in her eyes. "I'm holding you up. I bet they're wondering why you haven't stepped on the plate yet. Better go before we get in trouble."

I nod and step on the plate, the glass cylinder closing around me. Just as soon as the door closes, the door bursts open three peacekeepers head into the room. Just as they start to reach for Tomoyo and I start to bang on the glass, intent to help her, a literal shadowy figure shoots up out the ground between the peacekeepers and Tomoyo. I only have enough time to see that whatever it is wearing a long black cloak with a hood before it swallows Tomoyo and disappears.

The peacekeepers appear as stunned as I do, looking around to see where Tomoyo disappeared to, but she's gone. It's as though shadow consumed her…

_Last year there was a spirit that could control and travel the shadows…_

And then I know that I just saw the spirit Sakura told me about in training. But why would she send it to get Tomoyo? How would Sakura have known Tomoyo was in danger unless…?

Demetrius, I think to myself, wondering not for the first time what is going on and why don't I know about it.

The plate finally begins to rise. I clear my head of all the questions once I'm finally in the arena. I can't let them disorient me. I can't let them win.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let the Seventy-fifth Magic Game begin!"

* * *

**AN:** I really struggled with things that I let happen in this chapter, but in the end I decided that this was the best way for it to be written in order to also set up for the sequel. Even so, I still wasn't happy with it. So I hope you enjoy it more than I did.

Remember I ask for **at least** **2 review before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two.

Remember, reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


	19. Chapter 19

**19**

The first thing I do once I get my bearings straight is take in the arena. My plate is surrounded by waving water, and on a circular island with twelve thin strips of land coming from it around the perimeter about forty yards away is the Cornucopia. Between the strips is water and a pair of tributes. Around the water is a beach and then dense forests. After scanning the arena, I look for Sakura. I can't see her, but I can sense her on the other side of the arena.

As the countdown continues, I look around and see that there's no rope or boats anywhere, which means that the Gamemakers expect us to get to the Cornucopia by swimming there, which means I can assume the water is clean. But it smells like the beaches of District Four, so I also assume that it's salt water.

Almost as soon as the gong sounds, I unhesitatingly jump into the water. I've had some practice in the water in the lake back home in the woods, but even if I hadn't, water is a yin element. Learning to maneuver in it comes almost natural, even though something about this water leaves me having to maneuver little despite the waves.

I manage to pull myself onto the land strip and run for the cornucopia, aware that the water must have caused many of the tributes to hesitate because I see no one else on either of my sides, though that's not to say there isn't anyone coming up on the other side of the Cornucopia. When I arrive on the isle and get to the mouth of the Cornucopia where all the supplies are, the first thing I grab is a golden set of bow and arrows. I grab it, throwing the sheath over my shoulder, and without stopping to think I string an arrow and whirl around to face the tribute that has come up behind me.

Syaoran is a few yards away from me with a trident, looking ready to attack. I have no reservations about putting an arrow in him first, but before I can let go, he says, "You can swim too? Where'd you learn that in District Twelve?"

I don't reply, trying to decide whether to kill him or not and cursing my hesitancy. Why did Sakura have to like this guy? This could get me killed.

"Like the arena?" he asks.

"Looks like it was made just for you," I reply though it probably wasn't. Still, District 4 has a clear advantage. There's no pool in the training center to learn how to swim, so the only option for the other tributes is to already be a swimmer or learn fast. Participation in the blood bath and getting the best supplies depends on it.

I'm still trying to figure out whether to put an arrow through him or not when he flashes a grin and says, "Good thing we're allies, huh?"

Allies? I'm about to let my arrow fly when a gold bracelet with a stars on Syaoran's wrist catches the sunlight. It's the same one I saw Clow wearing last night. The message is clear. Clow wants us to trust Syaoran. I repress a groan. Sakura and I didn't really rule out allies. We just didn't agree to anyone specifically, so of course Clow took matters into his own hands. But of all the people Clow could have decided that we should ally with, did it have to be Syaoran?

"Duck," Syaoran says in a voice lacking his usual practiced charm.

Simultaneously, I begrudgingly decide not to kill him right now and to follow his command. The trident flies over my head. I turn to see the man from District Five fall to his knees as Syaoran pulls out the trident.

"Don't trust One and Two," Syaoran says.

I nod as I go to the other side, aware of Esha and the female tribute from District One headed toward us.

"Only weapons," I say.

"Me too," Syaoran says. "Grab what you want."

He doesn't have to tell me. I find another set of bow and arrows and grab them both for good measure. Then I grab three knives and put them in my belt before spinning around to shoot at Esha. She ducks into the water to avoid it, and I make my way to the other side of the pile where Syoaran is with Sakura, who's searching through the pile in the Cornucopia, probably looking for a spear.

"What's this?" Sakura asks.

I glance at her as inspects an odd looking shield that looks like a wing with a red jewel in the center and a sword in the pile. Before I can answer her, Meiling makes it to the Cornucopia with Sang, surprisingly, in tow.

"A weapon," Meiling says as she grabs a belt full of knives. "If you want it, take it."

Sakura does so, while Sang grabs a mace and some knives.

"We're not expecting any more people, are we?" I ask irritably. An alliance of five is already bigger than I'm comfortable with.

"Nope," Sang says, with her mace over her shoulder. "I hope you don't mind me tagging along though."

I don't answer her.

"Time to go," Syaoran decides upon seeing Jai and Esha making it to the Cornucopia.

I couldn't agree with him more, though if Sakura weren't with me, I'd be inclined to get rid of them all right now in the bloodbath. There's certainly enough of us, but it's probably better to take advantage of the fact that most of the victors are still stuck on their plates and get as far away from here as possible.

We run from the Cornucopia and as soon as the sandy beach ends, we're rising into the dense forest I spotted from my plate. It's not like the woods and forest back home though. There was something like this in a Magic Game from a few years ago. Jungle, one of the announcers called it. The earth is black and spongy, with tangles of vines and colorful blossoms. The sun's hot and bright, but the air's warm and heavy with moisture. It's also dense, making it difficult to cover ground. Meiling begins to take the lead and chops through the foliage with one of her longer knives, but Sakura says, "Let me," and swipes through the foliage effortlessly with her sword. She's about to continue when Syaoran says, "You shouldn't overexert yourself like that in your condition."

Sakura and I exchange a look, and that's when we both remember that I made everyone to believe she's pregnant. I almost cringe, for a brief moment regretting that I told everyone that.

Sakura starts to open her mouth to argue about that, but Sang says, "He's right, sweetheart. Wouldn't want to hurt yourself or the baby."

Sakura presses her lips together and then turns a glare at me. I ignore it and say as I grab the sword from her, "Give it to me. I'll do it."

As soon as the sword is in my hand, something feels… off about it. It feels strange in my hand and not because it feels foreign to me compared to a bow and arrow. Somehow, it briefly feels like the weapon is resisting my hold before finally it decides I'm worthy to wield it and the odd feeling goes away. The feeling is so brief, no one notices it, and I begin to effortlessly cut through the foliage with it.

After only a few miles, between the humidity and the incline, everyone is short of breath and Sang insists we take a break for Sakura's sake, causing the girl to roll her eyes. I have a feeling I'm going to hear about this later. Rather than argue with Sang about it, Sakura puts down her shield and offers to climb a tree to see what's happening at the Cornucopia. Before anyone can protest, she starts her ascent.

"Aren't you going to stop her?" Sang asks. There's a touch of amusement in her tone and it makes me wonder whether or not she really believes Sakura is pregnant and is just helping us to play the cameras. For what reason? I can't be sure, even if Chiharu was our ally in the last games.

"It's no use," I say simply.

"Best you can do is make sure she doesn't get hurt, hm?" Sang adds, to which I nod. "You're such a lovely young man. I only hope my daughter can find someone like you to spend her life with one day."

I can take being insulted, threatened with violence, and even threatened to be killed without blinking an eye, but it's comments like these that fluster me. Maybe because I don't want people to know that side of me or maybe because I don't really believe such a side of me—that can impress a mother with a daughter of her own—really exists. Either way, I can't look directly at Sang, let alone respond to her after this comment.

When Sakura comes down, Meiling asks jokingly, "What's going on down there, Sakura? Have they all joined hands? Taken a vow of nonviolence? Tossed the weapons in the sea in defiance of the Capitol?"

"No," Sakura says simply and that's when I notice something's wrong with her, something that's making her curt and irritated like this. Then I remember that shadow consuming Tomoyo, and I wonder if she witnessed the same thing happen to Demetrius. Though if Demetrius was threatened too, why did she send that spirit to save Tomoyo instead of saving Demetrius?

"No," Syaoran repeats and then says seriously, "Because what happens in the past is in the past. And no one in here is a victor by chance."

He's right about that. Despite the show of unity the night before and despite Sakura's apparent fondness for the District Four Tribute, I was instantly ready to kill him and anyone else that got in my way if needed.

"Except maybe Sakura," Sang says thoughtfully.

Meiling scoffs. "Please. Don't let the charming, innocent act fool you Sang. Sakura's just like the rest of us. Well no. Actually, she might be worse."

"Meiling!" Sang says.

"It's true," the dark haired girl says with a shrug.

"How's that?" I ask, genuinely curious.

"Because she's the only one that can stop you," Meiling says simply. Upon my confused look she continues. "No offense, but you're tamed, which means you'll only do what your tamer allows you. If she really didn't want you to protect her, if she really didn't want you to kill anyone, she would have stopped you. Just like she stopped you from killing Kero. She's the only reason Syaoran's not floating in that water back at the Cornucopia. Face it. It's one thing to kill someone, but it's another thing when you can make someone else kill for you so you don't have to get your hands dirty."

"Really, Meiling," Syaoran says sighing.

"What? I'm just being honest," Meiling says with a shrug as she looks at Sakura. "And she's not arguing with me."

Meiling's right that Sakura isn't arguing with her, but I don't think it's because Meiling's words have gotten to her. She's preoccupied with something else. I wonder if she even heard what Meiling said.

"Of course she isn't," Sang says with her hands on her hips. "She's pregnant! She's probably dehydrated. Are you alright, Sakura?"

Meiling scoffs and rolls her eyes. I never questioned it before even though I did notice the girl kept her distance from Sakura, but now it's obvious that Meiling's admitted like of me doesn't cross over to Sakura. And with that thought in mind, I string an arrow and point it right at Meiling's heart.

"Yue!" Sang exclaims.

"Yue," Syaoran says calmly. "Put down your bow."

I plan to, right after I shoot this arrow. I start to let it go when Sakura's hand covers mine. She gently forces me to put my arms down before saying dejectedly, "We're wasting time. Let's go."

That said, she urges me to turn away from Meiling and continues walking in the other direction. Meiling huffs behind us, and no sooner than she's taken her first step, I turn around and let an arrow fly.

The arrow whizzes past Meiling's ear and embeds itself in the tree behind her.

Everyone stares at me in stunned silence, and I'm aware that Syaoran's grip on his trident is tightening. He doesn't have to worry about me doing anything though. If I had really wanted to kill Meiling, I wouldn't have missed the first time. Part of me wanted to, but another part of me doesn't want to play into the Capitol's games. That same part keeps reminding myself that for whatever reason, both Sang and Syaoran have been playing up this pregnancy ruse, as if they care more about Sakura's life than their own, just like I do. Because of that, I at least owe it to Syaoran not to kill his cousin.

"That was a warning," I say as I put my bow over my shoulder. "Next time, we'll find out if I'm as tamed as you say."

The atmosphere of the group is decidedly tense in the next few moments as I walk past Meiling and retrieve the arrow. Once the arrow in back in my quiver, Sang clears her throat and says, "We need water."

Syaoran looks at Sakura and asks, "Will that trick you used last year take too much energy for you?"

Sakura shakes her head and goes over to a random tree and lays her hand on it. She frowns and moves to another tree. When she moves to a third tree, Sang asks, "What's wrong?"

"Something strange is going on… I can't do it. Something in the tree is blocking the magic," Sakura says.

"Blocking the magic?" I asks. "How?"

Sakura shrugs. "It's almost like when I used those pebbles to block our magic last games."

"Try something else," I ask.

"What?" Sakura asks.

"Anything," I say.

After a few moments, Sakura shakes her head, confirming what I suspect.

With that, I whirl around, away from everyone so they won't be afraid I'm going to hurt them as I raise my bow, but neglect to grab an arrow, instead trying to summon a magic one. I can feel the magic stirring within me, trying to escape, but something's blocking it and I fail to summon the arrow.

"Our magic is blocked," Syaoran says from behind me.

"Blocked?" Meiling says.

Sakura, Syaoran, and I all exchange glances, before looking at Meiling and nodding.

"Well when did this happen? Was it there at the beginning of the games?" Meiling asks.

"Yes," I say. It was my magic that helped me get through the water and to the Cornucopia before most of the other tributes did.

"Then what happened? How do you not notice your magic is gone?"

"Because it's not gone," Syaoran says rubbing his forehead, appearing irritated with his cousin.

"But you just said it's blocked."

"There's a difference," Syaoran snaps at her and then opens his mouth, probably to try to explain, but then closes it.

I can understand his frustration. It's hard to explain to someone who has never had magic how magic feels. It's always there, even when it's blocked or it can't be reached, like when I first discovered I had magic or at the end of last year's Magic Games. Therefore, it's perfectly logical that none of us noticed it until we tried to use it.

Finally, Syaoran says, "You know what. Forget it. Magic is out. At least right now."

"Which means we get to find water the old fashioned way!" Meiling says feigning enthusiasm before adding dryly, "just great."

That decided, I take the lead again and begin to cut through the foliage, continuing upward. While I keep a lookout for signs of water that we can easily access, I'm ever aware of the eyes boring into my back. I probably shouldn't have shot an arrow at Meiling, especially considering the tenuousness of our alliance. Still, I don't regret it. Meiling is just lucky that I actually somewhat like her as an acquaintance. Otherwise, that arrow might not have ended up in the tree behind her.

After a little less than another mile or so, we're about to reach the end of the tree line, prompting Sang to suggest that we might be at the crest of the hill and water could be on the other side.

There is no other side.

Just as I swing the sword forward to cut away more vines and foliage, two things happen. There's a sudden flare of what is unmistakably a type of yang magic at the same time as Sakura yells my name.

There's a sharp zapping noise from what I realize must be a force field and then, I and the sword are flung backwards.

* * *

**AN:** Yue shooting at Meiling was my favorite part of this chapter. That's all I'll say. Anywho. Sorry this is a little late, but a lot happened this week and I honestly forgot I was due to update it. Hope you enjoyed it.

Remember I ask for **at least** **2 review before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two.

Remember, reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


	20. Chapter 20

**20**

I come to with a choked gasp, feeling just as bad as, if not worse than, I felt when I jumped out that tree when the fence was turned back on a few months ago. It doesn't help when I suddenly feel weight on me. It's Sakura, and I want to push her away, but I really don't have the energy to.

"It was so cold. You weren't there anymore. I couldn't feel you," she says frantically.

Feel me? Sakura's talking as though we have some psychic connection. Well maybe it's not psychic. More like it's a magical one. The one that draws us to each other even when we'd like not to be.

"It's okay," I say sitting up, ignoring how painful it is to do so. "I'm fine."

Meiling scoffs, "You were just practically electrocuted. You're not fine."

I ignore Meiling and stare at Sakura who looks like she's seconds from literally falling apart. She can't stop crying, even though she looks like she wants to, like she just lived one of her nightmares… That explains it. I've never asked and she's usually rather cryptic about it, but I suspect she has just as many dreams about losing me as she does about anything else.

"I'm okay," I say again. This time a little firmer. I don't want to have to resort to harshness, because I also suspect that something happened to Demetrius before she was brought into the arena, but no rebellion will want to rally behind her if she acts like she's weak.

"Must be the pregnancy hormones," Syaoran cuts in.

"It's not—" Sakura can't even finish her sentence, though she is able to glare at Syaoran through her tears.

"Don't be embarrassed," Sang cuts in. "I was the same way when I was pregnant. I could cry for hours over nothing. Things like pillows on the couch being in the wrong order."

This certainly isn't nothing, which makes me appreciate Syaoran's and Sang's attempts to justify Sakura's apparent meltdown. Yet at the same time it baffles me. The only reason I can think that they're going along with this so easily is that they realize as long as they're allied with us, they too can benefit from the sympathy of the sponsors. But that doesn't explain why Meiling is glaring at both of them and why they're both avoiding the dark haired girl's gaze.

Finally, Sakura seems to calm down. But when she does, she stands and goes to the force field. Then she reaches out her hand as though to touch it.

"Sakura! Are you insane?" Syaoran asks. "Didn't you just see what it did?"

Sakura ignored him, her hand stopping just a few centimeters away from the force field. Then she says, "It's trapped."

"What's trapped?" Meiling asks in annoyance.

"The spirit," Sakura says simply. "That's how I knew the force field was there."

Slowly, much more slowly than Sakura did, I go back over to the force field and reach my hand out towards it. My hand stops the same distance away as Sakura's when I sense what she senses, the same yang magic that I sense flare right before I was thrown back. She's right. There is a spirit trapped, energizing and reinforcing the force field.

"We should make camp here," Sang suggests.

Syaoran shakes his head. "Not a good idea. We have no magic right now and no water. We have to keep moving."

"But Yue," Sang begins but Meiling cuts her off.

"The guy walked through an arena and fought careers after not eating for two days with a blood infection induced fever. I'm sure Yue can keep going. Right?" Meiling asks.

I nod, resisting the urge to ask what's going on because I feel like I'm caught in the middle of an argument between Meiling, Sang, and Syaoran that I know nothing about. My first instinct is that they want to betray us. Otherwise, why else would Meiling draw attention to how resilient I can be? It can only be to remind them that I'm still very much a threat, especially after I made it clear that I have no problem breaking this alliance whenever I feel like it.

We trek much slower through the jungle, this time with Sakura taking the lead despite my objections. I'm only convinced when everyone reminds me that Sakura can sense the spirit in the field so she won't run into it. After an hour of trying to go left, but finding the force field guiding us along a curved bag, Sakura stops and says that she wants to get a look from above again. I couldn't climb a tree if I wanted to right now and if I'm honest with myself, I need a break, so I don't protest. Before she makes her climb she asks if she can see one of the bows on my back and an arrow. I hand her one of each item, not sure what she intends to do as she climbs to the top of one of the tallest trees.

When she comes back down, she sighs and says, "The arena is a dome. I don't know how high it is, but there's the sea, the cornucopia, and then jungle around the rest of the perimeter. It's all perfectly even and exact. No water except sea."

With nowhere else to go, we begin to move down the slope, though we keep circling left. Finally, Sakura stops and says that she feels woozy and needs to stop. She's lying. Except for the fact that we've had no water, she's perfectly fine. But I've noticed her looking at me out the corner of her eye in obvious concern. I'm mostly fine, but even if I weren't, I'd never admit it until I was about to die like the last Magic Games. Sakura is essentially helping me save face.

Shortly after we've picked a campsite for the day, Sakura discovers that she can use her magic again, which solves the problem of getting water.

"You think it might have been the force field?" Syaoran asks me as Sang begins to weave containers from the tall sharp grass around us for the water that Sakura collects.

"The force field," I say.

"Interfering with our magic," Syoaran says.

I shake my head. The dome covers the entire arena. If it were the shield, our magic would be blocked inside the entire arena, especially for one this small. It must be something built into the arena, that section of it anyway. I make a mental not to steer clear of that part of the jungle if I can remember exactly where it is. Even so, I'm not particularly eager to get too close to the force field again.

Syaoran nods in agreement with me as we continue to set up camp.

After we've all had our fill of water, Sang collects a bunch of nuts from the trees around us and heads back with Meiling towards the force field. They come back with all the nuts blackened and cracked, then begin to pill them and pile them onto a large leaf."

Since everyone else has made themselves busy, I decide to do something useful and go hunt.

"You're going off? By yourself?" Sang asks.

"How else are you going to get dinner?" I ask.

We go back and forth for about five minutes before Sakura finally gets up to go with me, citing that now that she's had some water, she's fine. If anything, everyone looks more reluctant at the idea that both of us are going off by ourselves, but they can't say anything about it since the point was not letting me go by myself.

When we're far enough away from the others that we won't be heard, Sakura says, "So what do you think?"

"Of what?"

Sakura nods in the direction we left our three allies.

I frown, not sure how to answer her. Finally I say, "I'm not sure I trust them."

"I don't think that's an issue," Sakura says. "Syaoran was the one who coaxed you into breathing again when you walked into that force field. If he wanted you dead, he would have made sure you were dead back there."

"Maybe because I haven't outlived my usefulness," I mutter.

"Always the cynic," Sakura says. We walk in silence for a while longer before she adds, "I wish you hadn't told anyone that."

"Told anyone what?" I ask.

"That I-I'm pregnant," Sakura stutters out. "They treat me different. They're worse than you."

Honestly, I never thought the other victors would play up my lie so much. I thought they would have caught on to the fact that it was a lie or at least suspected it and tried to disprove it.

When I don't reply, Sakura says very carefully, "You know, I never wanted kids."

I stop my trek to look at her. I was pretty sure I knew most things about Sakura. She does manage to surprise me every now and then, but for the most part, I know the important things. This is one I've never heard. And it explains why she stuttered earlier when she said it, as though the idea was repulsive or foreign to her.

"Is that so?" I ask, just as carefully as she brought up the subject. One wrong word could ruin our angle.

She nods.

"Why is that?"

Sakura shrugs. "I always thought it would be too much for me."

There's a hidden meaning in this, something she can't say explicitly on the cameras, or isn't sure she can say. At this point in the games though and with everything that's happened so far, I don't think it really matters.

"The reapings," I say knowingly.

"Part of it," Sakura mutters.

I'm sure. Not just the reapings, but everything else that comes with living in the Districts of Magea. Starvations, early death, extreme poverty, feeling caged. Before the Magic Games and the Victory Tour, I didn't know Sakura was sensitive to all these things because Toya and I did our best to keep her away from it. Afterwards, I became aware that Sakura feels those things almost stronger than we might. In a way, her optimistic view of the world, the thinking that things can and will one day get better makes everything worse for her, makes her more aware of our reality than I ever cared to pay attention to. And thinking about it that way, it's not shocking that Sakura doesn't want children. A person like her would never want to drag another person into a situation like this just like she didn't want me to participate in the Magic Games the first time.

Then Sakura adds, "Didn't think I'd have to worry about it for the next twelve or so odd years though. What about you?"

"Never thought about it much," I admit. "But that's no surprise to you, is it?"

She shakes her head. Then she grins and says, "It's kind of obvious."

It's the grin that throws me off, accompanied by that mischievous twinkle in her eye that she and Clow always have when they're trying to tease me. It takes a few seconds to understand what she's suggesting.

I snort in response, and Sakura bursts into giggles at my reaction. I can't believe she's joking about our non-existent sexual escapades. Then again, neither of us has ever done much to dispute the rumors, and I'm pretty sure the Capitol is entertained by this. When I tell her to shut up, because she's scaring any animals away, she only giggles more and tells me to laugh a little. Despite myself, I fight a smile. Even in the midst of all this, she can find a reason to laugh.

Finally she stops laughing, but neither of us looks away from each other as though some magical force that we're not aware of won't let us and is trying pulling us closer together. We stand like that for a while, during which I mentally debate with myself whether I should look away or just kiss her.

Sakura makes the decision for me when something just behind me catches her attention. I followed the new direction of her gaze, a little annoyed at whatever has disturbed us. There's some large rodent in the tree. Figuring Sakura and I have already been gone too long as it is, I wordlessly shoot it out the tree. We silently head back to camp in comfortable silence with the strange rodent in tow, only pausing to listen to the cannons go off that signal seven tributes died in the bloodbath.

When we get back, I see that Sang has created a three walled hut with floors and a roof from the mats she was threading along with a couple of tightly woven container so we can transport water on the go.

"What took you so long?" Meiling asks. She's about to add something else when Syaoran cuts in.

"Do you want another arrow shot in your direction?" he asks her.

Meiling rolls her eyes and says nothing more while I throw the rodent in the middle of our camp for them to deal with because I don't have the energy to. After exerting more energy than I needed to killing and then dragging the rodent back to camp, I'm starting to certainly feel the effects of being electrocuted earlier. My entire body aches and the only thing I want to do is sleep, but between Sakura and Meiling, who still seems to like me even though I threatened to kill her, I manage to eat a piece of the rodent, which Meiling and Sang also cooked on the force field.

"Don't worry about him," Sakura says to Meiling after I've grumpily snapped at both of them that I've had enough and make my way to lie down. "He prefers sleeping to eating at home. That's why he always misses breakfast. Besides, sleeping will do him more good to keep up his energy than eating will."

I mutter that I can hear them talking about me, which only causes Sakura to huff. By the time I've settled, the moon has risen into the sky, but I'm prevented from falling asleep as the anthem begins to play and the tributes who died today flash through the sky. All the tributes from Districts One through Four are apparently alive because the first face to flash is the male tribute from District Five. Then there's both tributes from District Six, Sang's district partner follows, followed by both from Nine, and one from Ten.

I imagine watching this isn't as hard on me as it is on everyone else, including Sakura, who actually spent most of training getting to know the other tributes. Beyond those that stood out to me, I didn't even bother to learn most of the tribute's names, and I certainly know none of the names of those who flashed in the sky tonight.

With that done, everyone else begins to work out in which order they'll take watch. They've already excluded me and Sang suggests they exclude Sakura because she should get an ideal amount of rest being pregnant. Sakura vehemently protests. It's Meiling who surprisingly says, "We're in the damn Magic Games, Sang. Not exactly an ideal place for a pregnant girl as it is. If she wants a shift to keep watch, let her."

I don't sleep as much as I rest between a state of sleep and conscious, with my bows on me and the arrows on my back, ready to jump up at a moment's notice to run or fight if needed, thus I'm the only one to awake apart from Syaoran when the sound of a bell tolling sounds throughout the arena. Everyone else sleeps through it.

I look at Syaoran from where I sit up. Then he asks, "Did you count twelve?"

I nod in agreement. As we wait, the only thing that happens is that a lightning bolt hits a large tree, proceeded by a lightning storm. Still, I can't help but feel like something is eventually coming this way, so I stay awake, aware of Meiling taking over watch for Syaoran about an hour after the tolls.

I hear rain begin to fall, but it never reaches us, which puts me on alert. Something is nagging at my magical senses, something telling me to run. My magical instincts have never failed me before, so I sit up, make sure my bow and arrows are secured and then begin to sweep the camp to find Sakura. I don't have to look far, because she's lying right next to me with her shield strapped to her back and her sword clutched in her hand.

A canon sounds, signaling another dead tribute. A few minutes later, the rain I heard in the distance suddenly stops. A few minutes after that, a strange fog begins to slowly roll in. Immediately, I know this isn't mist or steam from the rain. Water is a yin element, I would be able to sense it. Just to make sure, I try to use my magic to manipulate the fog and find it's not working and there's no block on my magic either.

Before Meiling has even begun to figure it out, I begin to shout for the others to awaken. Sakura wakes up, takes one look at the fog and steps in the other direction, but Sang, who is closest to the fog is much slower to awaken and by the time she's started to stand, the few places the mist have touched her skin begin to blister.

"Sang," Sakura shouts, urging the woman forward, but it must be painful if the way she's struggling to get up is any indication.

Without thinking, I grab Sang, throw her onto my back and begin running from the fog. Sang's not much bigger than Sakura, and I can carry Sakura with ease while running, but the electrocution from earlier is effecting me more than I've admitted, even to myself. Of course it's affected me so. It's yang magic. Sure yin magic can hurt me too, but I can brush it off easier because of my affinity with its elements.

A few drops of poisonous dew come out the vapor as we run, causing a pain that's akin to the heat of a burn but somehow worse. It's only a matter of time before I stumble, falling to my knees and dropping Sang in the process. Immediately, I feel lighter and so I turn to Sang, to ask if she can run. I know the answer without asking. The places where the mist touched her skin is beginning to twitch, particularly her left leg. Apparently this fog doesn't just burn.

"Come on," I say, trying to bring her to her feet, ignoring the twitching that's started in my arm.

"Yue," she says weakly.

I'm practically dragging her now. Sakura, who is only a few feet ahead of me doubles back to help me with Sang, but she's smaller than Sang. With Sakura's help we drag Sang along quicker than I could have alone, but not enough to outrun the fog that's creeping closer to us.

Syaoran comes back with Meiling still on his back.

"What's going on?" he asks.

"Sang," Sakura says as we both continue to try to pull her along. "We can't carry her and she can't walk."

Syaoran looks torn. His arms are beginning to twitch too, and he's barely holding on to Meiling. There's no way he can carry Meiling and Sang.

"Leave me," Sang says firmly.

"No," both Sakura and I shout.

"Sakura! Think of the baby!" Sang says.

"But there's no—"

"Sakura!" Sang shouts again, giving her a piercing look, and that's when I know that Sang is very aware that Sakura's not pregnant, very aware that it was a ploy to gain the Capitol citizen's sympathy while simultaneously causing them to be enraged at the president who would allow these Games.

Sakura nods and begins to back away, but I can't, because I'm eerily reminded of how I chose to let Chiharu die, especially when Sang was likely her mentor.

Sang then pulls me toward her into a quick hug and whispers, "It's okay. Chiharu was on your side. I'm on your side. Get that girl out. And… and… my babies…"

I can barely nod before shoves me as far away from her and the fog, that's now a yard away, as possible. Before I can process what just happened, Sakura grabs my hands and forces me along, urging me on none too politely, much like I'd probably urge her if our positions were swapped.

After who knows how long of trying to outrun the fog, Syaoran collapses first, with Meiling lying on top of him. Sakura and I, who were right behind them, stumble over them and fall with them. Sakura, who noticeably has little to no blisters on her, stands up immediately and tries to urge the rest of us to get up as the fog only a few feet behind us. I try, but my body gives out on me. I can't even feel my arms, nor one of my legs.

"Go," I urge Sakura, but she's not going anywhere.

Now she's staring at the fog with a determined expression, the expression that is always a precursor for trouble for whoever or whatever is at the receiving end of it. She takes her shield off her back and then steps over us to face the fog. Then she thrusts the oddly shaped shield directly in front of her, and it vanishes in a pink and golden glow. The fog keeps coming, but somehow it doesn't overcome us, instead it moves as though going over an invisible dome; a dome that acts as an impenetrable shield.

* * *

**AN:** Nothing to say except I hope that you enjoyed.

Remember I ask for **at least** **2 reviews before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two.

Remember, reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


	21. Chapter 21

**21**

I don't know how much times passes as Sakura and I both tentatively watch the fog swirling around the dome, fearing that the shield will falter and the fog will reach us anyway. Finally the fog recedes into the air, as though being sucked away by the sky. Sakura waits a few tense moments before probing a finger through the shield to test the atmosphere. When nothing happens she puts her entire hand out and then lets out a breath of relief. Then she turns to where Syaoran, Meiling, and I are lying in heap. After a few moments, she helps to haul me up, forcing me to drag my useless legs behind me as we make our way past the shield and to the beach.

She unceremoniously drops me on the sandy beach. Since it feels something like a burn, I put my hand in the water, hoping the water might ease the pain. It doesn't, at least not at first. Initially the pain that accompanies the action is blinding, and instinctively I start to snatch my hand back, only to notice that the pain is lessening and the chemical fog is being drawn out. The more the white poison is drawn out, the less painful my skin feels and the more the twitching goes away. Noticing that this seems to be relieving me, Sakura pulls me closer to the water. I nearly pass out at the initial pain of the salt water drawing the poison out when she drops my entire leg into the water.

"Sorry!" she says.

I nod, lips pressed together tightly so I don't make any noise because I'm very aware that we're out on the beach with nothing to cover us if any tributes decide to come out the woods.

"I'm fine," I say. "Go get Meiling and Syaoran. They're alone."

"They're fine," Sakura says dismissively. "Nothing's getting past that shield."

That shield. Obviously the odd shield Sakura took from the cornucopia is some kind of spirit. I've never heard of one taking the form of an object though. And how did it manage to end up amongst the pile of weapons. Surely the Gamemakers didn't put it there.

Finally, I'm fully submerged in the water, and assured that I can take care of myself, Sakura goes back into the woods to retrieve Meiling, who's well enough to slowly begin to submerge herself into the water. I end up coming out the water to help Sakura retrieve Syaoran, while she calls the spirit back to its physical form, the oddly shaped shield, and straps it on her back.

As the two of us begin to slowly submerge Syaoran into the seawater, I ask about the shield that's now on her back again and how she knew what to do with it.

She shrugs and says, "Mostly intuition."

Then I say simply, "It protected you from the fog," a reference to the lack of blisters on her body earlier, save for a few on her arm.

She nods, not looking like she wants to talk much, which annoys me because right now is one of the few times I wouldn't mind the distraction. Now that the pain and threat of the chemical fog isn't pressing on my mind anymore, my mind is drifting to Sang, who was willing to sacrifice herself to make sure Sakura and I got away from that fog, who said that Chiharu was on my side and so was she, and whose dying requests was that someone watch over her kids for her. I can't make that happen. But maybe before all this is over, I can discretely pass the message along to Sakura. I wouldn't dare say it in front of the camera, because then the Capitol might actually hurt them, and they're already a target for the Capitol as it is with their mother being a Victor.

Then there's the fact that she obviously knew Sakura isn't pregnant. Then why in the world wouldn't she expose it? I would have if I was her. It would lessen the favor of the Capitol towards us, take away some of their sympathy. Now that I think about it, Meiling doesn't act like she believes it either and something tells me neither does Syaoran. Then I remember that feeling of being caught in the middle of the three as they went back and forth about what to do after the force field electrocuted me. They're up to something, and while the only reason I can think of is that they want to kill us, none of their actions add up to it. I suppress a groan of frustration as Sakura and I submerge Syaoran's entire face into the water to clear his throat and nose. Then we let go, because Syaoran seems to have gained control of his motor skills enough so that he doesn't drown.

"I could use some water," Meiling says grabbing the two weaved containers that Sakura had strapped to her belt and now lay in the sand. "Come on Sakura."

I glance at Sakura and then eye Meiling warily. I haven't forgotten her comments earlier. Meilign notices my gaze and rolls her eyes as she says, "Relax, Yue. Just because I don't like her, doesn't mean I'll hurt her. I'm not particularly looking forward to having an arrow in my chest anytime soon."

"Neither am I," I admit because I truly do like Meiling or at least, I like her compared to how I feel about all the other tributes.

Meiling scoffs. "If you'll shoot an arrow at your allies, I'd hate to see what you'd do to your enemies."

"You already know," I reply. "You watched my games."

Meiling laughs while Syaoran and Sakura exchange a baffled expression at how dismissively Meiling and I can talk about the fact that I shot an arrow at her earlier.

Finally Syaoran shrugs at Sakura and says, "Hey, you married the guy. I can't choose who I'm related to."

That said, Sakura collects her sword off the ground, and goes into the jungle with Meiling to collect water. They don't go far, but the jungle still obscures our view. I don't worry too much about it though, because I can sense Sakura's shining presence from miles away if I needed to.

While Syaoran swims in the water, I sit on the beach and stare at him, wondering if there's any way to broach the topic of what his and Meiling's plans were with Sang. I'm so determined to find a way to ask that I don't notice Syaoran has stopped swimming and has noticed my gaze on him.

"Like what you see?" he teases.

I don't react, tilting my head in thoughtfulness at him. He truly is a walking contradiction. Serious and nearly brooding one minute, while charming and flirtatious like the persona he flaunts in the Capitol the next. He's acting for the cameras. That much I'm sure of, but there's something else hidden behind that act, and it's meant to throw me off.

"Okay," Syaoran says. "You're freaking me out."

I blink. "How?"

"Your eyes. You can't see it in the light and not at night all the time either. But when you look at people like that, it's almost like they're glowing. It doesn't help that you have weird eyes anyway," Syaoran says. "If I didn't notice them before your Magic Games, I would have thought you had some surgery to alter them."

I blink. "What's weird about them?"

"You've never noticed?"

"We don't spend a lot of time looking in mirrors in District Twelve admiring our good looks like you," I say.

"You're one to talk, pretty boy," Syaoran says with a grin causing me to cringe at the annoying name. "But seriously, come look. They're almost predatory. Like a wild cat."

I really don't want to, but I make my way to the edge of the water and look at the reflection of my eyes in the moonlight. The first thing I notice is something I already know, which is that they're a silver blue shade that sometimes appear violet or totally silver depending on the angle of the sun. But what I've never paid attention to are the oval-shaped pupils that don't round at the top and bottom, but form a v shape before curving on the sides.

"Never noticed," I admit upon seeing the anomaly. "Probably genetic or something."

"Maybe. Or it might be your magic," Syaoran says and then explains before I can ask, "Magic can have a weird effect on people's genes and their appearance. Your eyes probably have something to do with the way your magic so strongly aligns with yin."

I hum in response as I back away from the water's edge. Then I look back towards the jungle. Meiling and Sakura are taking a long time. When I mention this to Syaoran, we decide to check on the two. Upon stepping into the jungle, I don't need magic to tell me that something's wrong here. The atmosphere is thick with steady, silent breathing, and I glance up out the corner of my eyes to see a creature I've never set eyes on before. They're about half the size an adult person, sharp teeth, long clawed arms, red eyes, sharp ears, and some sort of scaly skin that is no doubt hard to penetrate. Though I've never seen one before, it does look like something in one of the books, Clow made me study in preparation for these games. Something called Orcs, magical creatures that served dark sorcerers in a long forgotten land far away from Magea and the Capitol. They may not be Orcs, but since they definitely serve the Capitol, they're close enough.

Sakura has already sensed their presence and is gently pulling Meiling to her feet, trying not to draw the girl's attention to the orcs.

"Come on," Sakura says. "There's something we need to do on the beach."

"Hold on," Meiling says as she struggles to secure the container of water.

"She's right," Syaoran chimes in quietly. "There's something you should look at over here. But walk slowly and be quiet so you don't scare it."

The oddity of Syaoran's tone causes Meiling to stand and finally follow Sakura toward us. I slowly take a handful of arrows to my hand, and upon seeing that Meiling looks annoyed, I hope that for once, Meiling can keep her mouth shut and do what we say, no questions asked.

It's too much to hope for.

Sakura and Meiling have almost made it to us when Meiling says, "This better be good," and then gets halfway through rolling her eyes before catching sight of the orcs. Her eyes widen, and the orcs descend upon her and Sakura.

Even if Sakura wanted to use her shield, she can't take it off her back quick enough. The orcs descend down the vines, pop from around trees and leap faster than any animal or creature I've ever come across. It's worse than the harpies from last year's games. The creatures don't even have to get right on Sakura and Meiling to attack either. They reach out with their long arms to try to claw at them.

Syaoran and I lunge into the fray, and Sakura, who was aware of the orcs much sooner than Meiling was, twirls her sword in her hand and begins slicing off arms and heads of the orcs that dare to get too close. Even with her skill with a spear, I notice that she's a little too efficient with that sword, almost like the sword is defending Sakura using her rather than Sakura using the sword to defend herself. But I'll worry about that later. It's best not to question strange things that are in our favor.

I shoot all five of the arrows in my hand through the head, throats and eyes of five of the orcs. But more of them continue to come and without Syaoran spearing them with his trident, Sakura slashing away with her newfound sword skills, and Meiling slashing away with her long knives in addition to physically hitting a few in vital pressure points with her knowledge of physical combat, I would have lost this fight before the fight even began.

When I run out of arrows from my sheath, and realize that I left the other sheath of arrows and bow back when we were running from the fog, I resort to magic arrows, which increases my shooting speed. This doesn't deter the orcs though. In fact, they seem to decide that I'm the bigger threat and begin to converge upon me, and the faster I shoot at them, the more they come in my direction. While Syaoran and Meiling work to defend me, Sakura struggles to get the shield off her back.

But she's distracted. And just as she begin to dislodge the shield from her back to protect us, an orc reaches out a long clawed arm, straight at her throat. I can't get to her. I can't even shoot in her direction because of the orc's blocking her from me.

Then, out of thin air, a tribute appears in front of Sakura, a female from one of the districts I dismissed as a non-threat. The woman then spreads her arms and the orc claws a hole right through her stomach.

Before the orc can draw back and try again, Sakura slices the orc's arm off and then pierces it in chest. She takes out the sword, looking a little shell shocked as the shield in her hand finally activates and like with the fog, it vanishes in a pink and gold glow before an almost invisible dome forms around us. There turns out to be no need for it though. No sooner than the shield is up, the orcs are retreating into the jungle and climbing back up trees.

"Get her," I say to Meiling, because Sakura doesn't look like she'll be able to get the dying tribute herself. "We'll cover you."

Meiling nods and lifts the woman in her arms, carrying her to the beach. As we walk, the shield follows us, but even still, Syaoran and I stay on high alert until we reach the shore.

Meiling lies the woman on the sand, the woman who I now recognize as a tribute from district eleven. There's nothing we can do to save her, but she insists on holding Sakura's and my hands for some reason. Meiling and Syaoran decide to watch the tree line in case anything else wants to attack us.

As the woman holds our hands tightly, she looks at Sakura and smiles.

"Star," she says.

"Star?" Sakura asks and then her hands go to the chain around her neck. "My pendant?"

"Shines," the woman says and then turns to look at me and says, "Art…"

"Art?" I ask in confusion. What is she talking about?

"Artemis," she finally manages.

"Artemis? Who's that?"

"Hunter," the woman chokes. Then she manages from sheer will more than anything, "Archer. Pro-protect."

I have no clue what she's talking about, but I listen to her anyway.

"Protect," she continues to choke, even as blood pours out of her mouth. "Protect. Sta-st-st…"

With a choked gasps, she takes her last breath. The sound of a cannon soon follows. Then Sakura and I take her to the water. She drifts away, toward the cornucopia and in a few short moments, a hovercraft appears to take her body away.

"She saved me," Sakura says finally, in an absent tone of voice. Not in an absent daydreamy way, but like she's not really here, like she's literally lost in the recesses of her own mind. It startles and concerns me at the same time.

"Did she?"

Sakura doesn't answer and instead lies down on the beach, staring absently ahead of her. After a few minutes though, she falls asleep. I'm no healer like Kameha, but even I can tell that something's starting to break inside Sakura. Even her optimistic approach to life can't combat this. There's only so much more she can take seeing, and it's a wonder after all we've been through in the last year it's not worse. I'm one to talk though. I started breaking a long time ago. I'm just better at hiding it than Sakura is.

Since there's nothing more for me to do, I decide that letting Sakura rest might be the best option for her drastic melancholy. I won't even awake her when Syaoran and Meiling insist that we all drink some water and soak in the salt water, as the areas where the poisonous fog touched our skin is beginning to scab and itch. I don't even join them.

Instead, I grab Sakura's sword, which I'm now beginning to suspect is a type of spirit or magic just like her shield and lie next to her. I hold her close, not caring that Meiling and Syaoran are a few feet away, no doubt watching us. Because holding Sakura close is all I can do because there's no way I can protect her from the images that are no doubt going to haunt her dreams.

* * *

**AN:** Man. I set up so much in these chapters for the next story which I still don't have a name for. Actually, I haven't starting physically writing it. It's all in my head right now and it probably will be for a while. Anyway, hope you enjoyed.

Remember I ask for **at least** **2 reviews before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two.

Remember, reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


	22. Chapter 22

**22**

Somehow, I'm the last one to awake the next morning. Apparently someone has been busy the previous night because suspended above me by branches is a woven grass mat that shades me from the sunlight. When I sit up I see Syaoran and Meiling have collected shellfish and put them in woven bowls next to full woven water containers. Sakura is sitting next to them, eying the shellfish warily.

"Morning sleeping beauty," Meiling says upon seeing me awake.

I blink my eyes and see that all of my companions are also covered with a sickly green paste that has started to make the scabs on their body start to peel as they heal. Sakura only has some on a few spots on her body, but Meiling and Syaoran appear as though they were dipped into the paste.

"What's that?" I ask as I approach.

Sakura hands me a tube with the paste inside.

"It's for where the fog touched us. It stops the itching," she says.

I take the tube from her and begin to rub the paste on my leg first. Upon seeing my leg though, Meiling exclaims, "Now you can't tell me this is a coincidence? His scars are healing faster too!"

I don't even address Meiling. I have no clue what she's talking about, and whatever it is I doubt I'll care.

"Meiling, really?" Syaoran asks.

"Yes. Really! Her," Meiling points to Sakura, "sores are mostly almost healed and so are his." Meiling points to me. Then she looks at Syaoran and adds, "And yours are healing faster than mine, if not as fast as theirs! What gives?"

"Meiling," Syaoran says calmly. "I already told you—"

Meiling cuts him off by saying, "It's the magic! I know. But it's not fair that I spent half the night scratching myself bloody and raw, and you all will be looking like Capitol models come tonight!"

I finally look up at Meiling with an eyebrow raised. "Are you seriously upset about your looks right now? In the Magic Game arena?"

"Yes!" Meiling says and then holds out her arm. "Now with all this magic going around, somebody better heal me."

Syaoran looks completely outdone as he sighs and continues to clean the meat from the shellfish. I simply continue to rub the paste on my body. Sakura on the other hand tries to placate the other girl.

"Meiling, none of us can heal. You're fine. I'm sure they'll be gone by tomorrow with the ointment," Sakura assures.

"And you all's will be healed by the end of the afternoon! It's not fair," Meiling declares. "Now with all this magic going on around here, someone has to have some healing powers, especially you two." Meiling points at Syaoran and I.

"You're being irrational," I finally say.

"Am not. You two have moon magic. One of you has to be able to heal. Moon. Water. Healing?" Meiling declares.

"You grew up with me. You _know _I can't heal," Syaoran responds simply and then soundly ignores Meiling.

Seeing that she'll get no luck on Syaoran's end, Meiling turns to me. She looks at me expectantly with her scabbed and peeling arm out. I think she's being ridiculous, but no doubt she'll make a fuss if I don't try. And if she doesn't shut up, I'll probably want to shoot her again. Because I really don't want to shoot her and because she'll probably leave the issue alone if I simply try, I decide to humor the girl. I call a concentrated amount of magic to my hand. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do as my hand hovers over Meiling's arm, but it doesn't appear that I need to know. Something happens, like an exchange of energy. No. Not an exchange. I get nothing back from Meiling, but something is certainly taken from me.

Meiling suddenly snatches her arm back, severing herself from my magic, for which I'm glad. Suddenly I feel like I could go back to sleep again.

"It worked!" Meiling says in glee and then looks at me. "No wonder you can survive things that usually kill most people. Okay, now my face."

I shake my head. "I can't do that again."

"Why not?" Meiling demands.

I glare at the girl and start to make a scathing comment about how she's acting like a spoiled brat and if she doesn't stop, I'll shoot her to gain some peace of mind. Before I can though, Sakura nudges me in the arm with her elbow, as though sensing the comment before I can say it.

Thus I say instead, "It expends too much energy. Maybe later."

Meiling seems satisfied with that and turns to get ready to eat breakfast. Before we eat the shellfish though, a parachute lands near Syaoran, with a loaf of bread with a green tint to it. I heard from the baker when I was younger that each district has a distinct type of bread based on the ingredients they have available to them. Based on the green tint, which reminds me of seaweed, I'm guessing this is from District Four. Syaoran inspects it carefully for a few moments before nodding his head and starting to break off chunks of bread for us to eat.

Sakura briefly asks if the shellfish needs to be cooked to which Syaoran shakes his head and begins unhesitatingly dropping the flesh in his mouth. Sakura and I look at each other warily, having never tried shellfish meat, before taking a piece of the flesh and putting it on the salty bread. We can't afford to be picky in the arena, and Syaoran and Meiling don't seem to be dying so it must be okay.

We're just finishing the food when a wedge of jungle across from us begins to rumble, accompanied by screams. Then a wave crests from inside it, coming over the trees and rushing down the slope of the beach into the seawater. We're as far away as possible from that section of the jungle, but even still the water bubbles up around our feet and begins to carry away our items. We retrieve all of them before they can drift too far. As we do so, a cannon fires and a hovercraft flies over the section to retrieve a body.

Eventually, I know we're going to have to go back into the jungle to, preferably, hunt the other tributes or be hunted. But for now, until we can figure out exactly what we're up against, we're all content to stay on the beach.

As I stare at the water as it begins to settle once again, Sakura suddenly points to three figures a couple of sections away. Immediately, we all begin to retreat towards the jungle. They're all soaked in something red. One of the figures is dragging another out the jungle, while the other is meandering around them in random circles.

I've already had my fair share of special Capitol bred magical creatures, thus I start to raise my bow and arrow to shoot them when the one dragging drops her load on the beach, stomps on the beach in frustration, and shoves the meandering one onto the beach before yelling, "Stay there! Don't move!"

Meiling releases the groan I suppress upon recognizing the voice while Syaoran yells, "Kiara," and makes his way to where she is.

As Meiling begins to stomp over, Sakura looks at me and asks, "We can't really leave them, can we?"

I press my lips together and nod, agreeing that we should make our way over for now. Kiara was one thing, but seeing Chun on his back and Jin getting back up to make random circles starts to make my eye twitch. I don't know who I can't stand more. Probably Kiara. She's almost as bad as Ruby. The District three tributes are just annoying.

Meiling is laughing as she asks, "How did you get stuck with Nuts and Volts?"

Kiara glares at her, taking a step towards the girl, but Syaoran intervenes. Kiara stomps the ground again and groans before explaining.

"We thought it was fucking rain. You know, because of the lightning, and we were so thirsty. But it was blood!" Kiara stomps the ground again. "Fucking. Blood. Hot and thick. Couldn't see, couldn't even open our mouths without getting a mouthful. We just staggered around, trying to get out. That's when Blain hit the force field."

While Syaoran and even Meiling mutter condolences, it takes me a second to figure out who Blain was. I guess he was Kiara's district partner. I dismissed him as a tribute, and he never showed up for training.

Kiara shrugs and says, "He was just a piece of home. But that led to me being stuck with these two. He," she points to Chun, "got stabbed in the back by a career. And her…"

We all look at Jin who's still spinning around in circles and muttering, "Tick, tock. Tick, tock."

"Yes. We know. Tick, tock. Shut up!" Kiara says. Jin circles into her, causing Kiara to shove her onto the beach and yell, "Just stay down!"

After all Kiara has done to get under my skin in the last week, I can't help but take great pleasure in seeing her so agitated. Despite my best effort, I can't hide the smug, crooked smile that comes to my lips.

"You think this is funny," Kiara snaps at me. Before I can reply, she says, "You're lucky Kero loved you guys so damn much. Otherwise I wouldn't have gotten them out that damn blood rain for your girlfriend!"

She steps forwards as if to attack me, but Syaoran intervenes, heaves Kiara over his shoulder, and heads for the sea to help her clean up as Kiara continues to insult me.

"I think we got it wrong," Meiling says as she watches Kiara being carried off. "We should have named her Nuts." Then she turns to Chun and says, "Come on you. Kiara got you out of there, but we won't have you for long if you bleed to death."

Meiling drags him to our beach camp, leaving Sakura and I with Jin.

"Come on," Sakura urges the woman to grab her hand. Jin does, allowing Sakura to guide the woman to our camp in a mostly straight line.

Once we get to the beach, Sakura puts the woman at the edge of the shallow water and begins to work off her jumpsuit. Since Sakura seems to have more patience with the jittery woman and her insistent muttering of "Tick, tock," I sit at the edge of the jungle and keep watch while everyone else is preoccupied. Once everyone is clean and Chun is lying on his stomach under the shade of the jungle with moss on his back to absorb and stop the bleeding, everyone, besides me gathers together. Kiara greedily drinks water and eats shellfish, while Sakura tries and fails to coax Jin into eating and drinking. Meanwhile, Syaoran explains our experience with the fog, the orcs, and the wave we witnessed. He avoids talking about Sang, though she's obviously absent.

Then they begin to argue about who's going to keep watch while everyone else gets some rest. When Sakura offers, Syaoran grins and says she's had a long day and should get some rest, for the baby. Sakura presses her lips together, as though she's trying to prevent herself from coming clean and telling everyone it was a ruse, but doesn't argue with Syaoran about it. In the end it's me, because I feel perfectly fine now, and Kiara, who refuses to go to sleep.

We sit on the beach together, each of us watching one side of the arena. Then, when everyone's asleep, she decides to speak.

"What happened to Sang?" she asks.

"The fog," I reply simply, because that's really something I don't want to talk about.

Kiara huffs and asks accusingly, "Did you have to choose between her and Sakura again?"

I furrow my eyebrows, though I don't look at her as I say, "Despite what you all seem to think and despite how you all think I carry myself, I know I'm not some honorable, noble knight. I never said I was, and I never made any illusion about why I volunteered for the games. Last year I intended for everyone in the games to die except Sakura, and that's my intention this year. Nothing personal. Just the rules of the games. So I'm very sorry if I disappointed you. Now if you want to stay alive past the next minute or so, I'd appreciate if you'd stop with the hostility."

It seems to have had some effect, because Kiara says nothing to me in response. After a few moments I add, "She chose to die when I couldn't carry her anymore because she couldn't run from the fog."

There's a pause before Kiara says, "She had three kids you know."

Her tone is simply matter-of-fact.

"I know," I say as I remember Sang's last words to me.

I have no clue how she expects me to find her three children and keep them safe when I'll be as dead as she is by the time this is all over, but I'll make sure I find a way to tell Sakura. She and Clow can surely come up with something.

Then I ask, "Why were you with Nuts and Volts?"

"I told you," she snaps. "I got them for your girlfriend. She told Clow it was the only way we could be allies, right?"

I know for a fact Sakura didn't say that, especially because neither of us has had any alone time with Clow since coming to the Capitol. In fact, I know she wanted Kiara anyway. Kiara's name was the first name out Sakura's mouth when Clow asked us about allies.

"Right," I lie.

Just then, we both hear a "Tick, tock," and then Jin comes to sit next to us. Both Kiara and I groan. At least we can both agree on the fact that Jin is irritating.

"Not again," Kiara says rolling her eyes.

"She's not that bad, Kiara," comes Sakura's voice.

Kiara sighs. "Then you can come over here and keep her company, doll face. I'm going to sleep."

Sakura gets up and comes to sit next to Jin while Kiara plops down on the sand next to Syaoran, the only person of our group besides Sakura who she can stand. Sakura lays Jin down next to her as the woman continues to mutter, "Tick, tock."

As Sakura rubs her back to sooth her she says, "Yes. Tick, tock. Go to sleep."

"Tick, tock," Jin continues to whispers as Sakura lulls her to sleep.

Watching Sakura lull Jin to sleep makes me think about when she said in the jungle yesterday that she never wanted children. While her reasons make sense, I can't help but think that if she can convince Jin to go sleep despite her insistent and annoying rambling, she'd make a good mother one day if she chose to be one. She has the patience for it. I'd probably scare a child and make them cry nine times out of ten.

The sun is now directly over us, which makes me think that it's noon. Then, to the right, I see a flash of lighting hit the same large tree just like it did last night and the electric storm begins. Someone must have walked into the area and triggered it. For a while, both Sakura and I simply watch the lightning storm.

"Yue," Sakura suddenly asks. "How many of those bong sounds did you hear last night?"

"You were awake?"

"How many?" Sakura says urgently as she stands to her feet after Jin says "Tick, Tock," in her sleep.

"Twelve," I reply, wondering what has gotten into her.

"Twelve," Sakura says as she surveys the arena. "Twelve like it was midnight, right? Everything started at midnight? Tick, tock."

Suddenly, a conversation I had with Kaho Mizuki, the new head Gamemaker, comes back to me. She was headed to a meeting. She didn't say what time it was, but it was late, close to midnight, and she flashed her watch at me.

"_That's an interesting watch."_

"_It's one of a kind."_

I had mostly forgotten about that encounter, but now that I recall it, I remember feeling like she was trying to tell me something, to warn me. Back then though, it made no sense.

"Tick tock," Jin says in her sleep again, and no sooner than she does, the rain stops and we hear the blood rain again.

"Tick, tock," Sakura says again as she turns to face me. "The arena's a clock."

* * *

**AN:** So as I was prepping this chapter, I realized I mis-numbered the chapters, so there's one more chapter in this story than I thought I had. I guess that's good for you all though. Hope you enjoyed.

Remember I ask for **at least** **2 reviews before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two.

Remember, reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


	23. Chapter 23

**23**

Sakura and I spend all of two seconds staring at each other upon her declaration that the clock is an arena. In that two seconds I remember the order of the Capitol made attacks. The lightning, the blood rain, the fog, the orcs, the wave much later, and back at the beginning of the games, though midnight hadn't struck, our blocked magic which probably resulted from whatever horror was lurking in the shadows waiting for their designated hour to attack. There's no telling what else is in the other sections.

"Do you think your shield can block the other sections?" I ask, because the wave didn't stay in the confines of the jungle. The fog is after the blood rain, and we're just now recovering from it.

"I rather not chance it," Sakura says to which I nod in agreement.

Together we begin to wake everyone up, demanding that they gather all their things so that we can move from the beach. Kiara, unsurprisingly, is very stubborn about moving. I start to tell her that she's allowed to die right now if she wants to, but Sakura simply begins to explain about the arena being a clock.

"Tick, tock," Jin says.

"Yes. You were right. It's a clock, Jin," Sakura says as she puts her shield on her back.

The woman's face lights up as she adds, "Midnight."

"Yes. It starts at midnight."

From there, Jin begins to nod to the blood rain section and says the time, while Sakura explains to her about the fog and gives her some water and the last of the bread. While she does this, Meiling helps Chun, who is insisting that she give him back the wire she took off him when she cleaned him earlier. Once that's done, Syaoran lifts Chun up, and we make our way back to the cornucopia to see if our theory about the arena is right.

While we wait, I go over the remaining weapons. I may be allies with everyone now, but I haven't forgotten for a second that most of these people will have to die. Chun and Jin will probably die without my help. I could kill Kiara without blinking an eye, no matter if she was Cerberus' mentor or not. She gets on my nerve. Syaoran and Meiling are two different stories. Even if I somewhat get along with Meiling, I could probably kill her if she says the wrong thing to Sakura again like she did in the jungle. When Syaoran was being all flirty with Sakura, I probably would have been able to easily kill him outside the arena, but now, when he hasn't done any of that and has even saved my life according to Sakura, I don't know if I can. Maybe I'll guide him to an encounter with the careers. Suddenly, I wish Sakura and I had kept the clock thing to ourselves. Besides Chun, no one has the patience to decipher Jin's rambling, and with him knocked out, it might have been too late before they figured it out and the Gamemakers manipulation of the arena would have been to my advantage.

"Clean this, will you?" Chun says to Jin while holding out his wire. The woman happily goes to the edge of the Cornucopia to clean the wire while singing, much to Kiara's and my dismay.

Kiara digs through the remains of the weapons pile with me. She picks up two axes. She may be famous for winning her games by setting her competitors on fire, but she's still lethal with axes, probably from chopping down trees her whole life, just like Syaoran and even Meiling have been on fishing boats their entire lives. It makes me wonder why District Twelve makes their children start learning their trade so late. With his knowledge of wires and electrics, Chun electrocuted his competitors. I'm sure if District Twelve tributes had learned how to blow things up, they would have won many more games than they did.

As I pick through the weapons, Meiling begins to draw a map, a very crude map, on a leaf she took with her. Once I've gotten more arrows and a few knives, I kneel next to her to see that she's drawn a circle that resembles a pie cut into twelve slices, with a circle inside to represent the shoreline and another to represent the jungle. She writes one through twelve around the various sections.

"What is that?" Kiara asks.

"A map," Meiling says.

Kiara huffs. "Looks like something a two year old drew."

"You get the point!" Meiling says.

"I really don't," Kiara says with a shrug.

"You draw the damn thing then," Meiling says tossing the leaf at Kiara.

Sakura sighs and takes the leaf.

"I'll draw it," she says and then uses the same magic we used to draw her crest last year to draw a much clearer map on the leaf. Then she looks around at our positioning and says, "The tail of the Cornucopia points to Twelve o'clock."

"Then twelve to one would be the lightning," Meiling dictates to Sakura. "One to two would be the blood rain. And—"

"Two," Jin suddenly says, pointing to the fog seeping onto the beach from its section in the jungle.

"Exactly," Sakura says and upon this acknowledgement, Jin continues to wash the wire and sing.

"Can you stop doing that?" I finally snap. Her singing is really starting to irritate me, mostly because she sounds so happy and this is anything but a happy situation or environment. If it weren't such a cheerful tune, I wouldn't mind as much.

"It's no use," Kiara snaps. "No matter how mean you are, she keeps doing it."

I turn my attention back to Sakura, who's now going clockwise around her map to add the fog, the orcs, at ten to eleven the wave, and off to the side with a question mark the words "blocked magic."

"Did anyone see anything else?" Syaoran asks and everyone shakes their head. Then he adds, "Mark the ones that come out of the jungle."

Sakura does so and then shows everyone the half-finished map.

"More than we had yesterday," Syaoran says.

Everyone nods in agreement and that's when I notice that the irritating sound of Jin's singing has stopped. Without thinking, I turn around, with an arrow to see that the male tribute from District One has sliced Jin's throat open. As the woman slumps to the ground, I shoot an arrow through his head. By the time I've lifted another arrow, Kiara has buried her ax in the District One female's chest. Syaoran blocks Jai's spear, while Meiling catches the knife Esha throws and throws it right back at her. Lucky for Esha and Jai, they can hide behind the Cornucopia, though that doesn't stop the District Four cousins from trying to pursue the District Two tributes as they try to flee to the jungle. Three cannons sound, confirming that Jin and the tributes from District One are certainly dead.

Then the ground suddenly jerks, causing everyone on the small island to lose their footing. Then the ground begins to spin. The force is pulling me towards the water, but by now Sakura has managed to activate her shield so no one will fly off of it. Then, suddenly, the island slams to a stop.

I sit up, fighting a headache and couching up sand, the same as everyone else who has managed to stay on the island.

"Where's Volts?" Kiara asks, which is odd considering a few hours ago, District Three was the bane of her existence. I figure she'd be glad to get rid of him.

Meiling spots the man barely floating in the water a few yards away and swims out to get him. Then Sakura, says, "Where's his wire?"

I look out to the water, to where Jin's body has drifted off, a claw descending from the sky to take her body, the wire still clutched in her hand from when she was cleaning it.

Syaoran starts to jump in the water to grab it, but I simply reach my hand out and then the wire flies out of the dead woman's grip and to my hand just as the claw grabs onto her body. This is the first time I've gotten a close look at the spool of wire. It's a pale golden color as fine as hair and it must be miles long.

"Telekinesis?" Syaoran asks.

"Limited," I reply.

"Nifty," he says.

I hand the wire back to Chun, who begins to study it as though he's not in the arena. I don't put too much thought into why. He just lost his district partner.

We rest on the small isle for a moment before Kiara declares that we should move from the Cornucopia. Meiling helps Chun, who believes he can walk now, to his feet. Then we decide to head to the twelve o'clock section so that we can ensure a few hours of calm and stay clear of any residue from the poison fog. I realize there's a problem with that plan as soon as Syaoran, who appears to have become our default leader, says it out his mouth. But it's not until he, Meiling, and Kiara head in different directions that everyone else realizes the same.

"Twelve o'clock?" Meiling says. "That's where the tail points."

"Before they spun us," says Syaoran. "I was going by the sun."

"The sun only tells you the time, not where a sections is," Kiara argues.

Chun, Sakura and I all exchange a look as the three argue about how to decide where to go from following Jai and Esha's tracks to finding the tall tree that the lightning always strikes at twelve. In the seconds it took them to realize that the Gamemakers had shifted our position, I already went through the scenarios. The tracks were washed away and every section has a tree just like the one the lightning strikes. As they debate, I muse that this is what happens when a bunch of strong personalities decide to form an alliance. It's the reason I steer clear of them to begin with. Not to mention that this is the way the career alliances have traditionally disintegrated in the past. The only reason I don't shoot them all now is that we still have four other tributes to find.

Sakura suggests a random path to me and since her intuition doesn't usually steer us wrong, I don't protest. Sakura and I help to keep Chun steady as all three of us head off the isle and onto the beach. By the time Syaoran, Meiling, and Kiara realize we're gone, we're already on the beach peering into the jungle to see what's inside so Sakura can get more water. They quickly follow us.

I start to follow Sakura into the jungle that we've now deemed safe for now, but Kiara snaps, "Syaoran will go with her. We need you to make another map. You can do that magic like Sakura did, right?"

"A three-year-old could," I reply. "You draw the map."

"Apparently, you've never seen her stick figures," Meiling says.

Part of me thinks it's a ploy to separate Sakura and I, but somehow I can't shake the feeling that they're trying to keep the two of us alive for some reason, though I can't understand why. Sakura I can understand. She has that effect on people. If you don't hate her, it's hard not to like her and these people certainly don't hate her, even Meiling despite the harsh things she said to her. But I can only imagine why they want to keep me alive. I've thought about killing all four of my allies apart from Sakura, I admitted to Kiara that I have every intention to eventually, and I already threated to kill three of them on at least one occasion. If that weren't enough, the only one who wholly seems to like me is Meiling, but that's not stopping everyone else from ensuring I stay alive too. Something is definitely going on here that I'm not aware of, and I feel like an unknowing pawn in someone's games—not the Capitol's. I know I'm a pawn in their game. There's definitely something else going on, but I'm content enough and curious enough to watch how it will play out. For now.

I draw the map, while staying ever aware of Sakura's presence so I'll sense any odd flares in her magic or aura. I'm just finishing drawing the map when I sense it, something sinister in the jungles behind us. I drop the map and go straight towards the jungle, but just as I reach the section, no longer can I see into the jungle, no longer can I look past the vines. In fact, I can't see anything at all because the entire section has become pitch black and there's an invisible barrier keeping me from going into it.

I think my heart may have literally stopped because for a while, I can't breathe. I can't even think. After that I'm start trying to figure out a way to get through this barrier even if I anger the Gamemakers in the process. Then I sense it, the spirit within the confines of the barrier. It's certainly not a part of whatever horror the Gamemakers have trapped Sakura and Syaoran with, but I can't be sure it's protecting Sakura either. I can't sense anything from it in fact. The only thing I can sense is Sakura's vibrant presence, the only indication that even trapped with whatever horror is inside this piece of jungle, she's safe from harm. So I simply decide to stand by the barrier and wait.

Only a few seconds have passed before I've deduced all of this, and by that time, Kiara, Meiling, and Chun are at my side.

"What's wrong? Why can't we get in?" Meiling asks, banging on the barrier.

Kiara's hands alight with flame as she tries to destroy the barrier.

"Can you see through it?" Chun asks.

"No," I reply curtly and go back to waiting for the hour to be up. There's no telling what kind of mental state Sakura will be in from being trapped in the darkness this long. She's been deathly afraid of the dark since she was a little girl and unlike most children, she didn't grow out of it. Sakura's very good at hiding her fear though. So long as she's distracted, she can usually function normally. Now that I think about it, the Victory Tour wasn't the first occasion Sakura and I have shared a bed. When we were younger, she used to force me to crawl in the bed with her, and she'd talk herself to sleep when her fear of the dark was getting to her. Now, for the first time she has to face this fear on her own.

After a few moments, seeing that I'm sitting content against the barrier, Meiling and Kiara give up and wait out the rest of the hour with Chun and me. The only indication of how long has passed is the sun moving across the sky, but even I'm not exactly sure when the hour is up, not until I feel a shift in the magic behind me. I stand and turn around to look into the darkness, cuing the others to stand and look. Suddenly the darkness recedes and the barrier disappears.

When we make it into the jungle, Sakura's knelling by Syaoran, who's on the floor of the jungle curled into a ball, and trying to shake him out of a stupor.

"Syaoran," Sakura says. "She's sorry. She was trying to protect us. She didn't mean to hurt you."

"Move," Meiling says pushing Sakura out the way. Both she and Kiara grab Syaoran and lug him out the jungle.

Sakura follows, not looking any worse for wear after being trapped in the darkness for so long. Then again, she's misled me before.

"Crowding him won't help matters," Chun states.

"Shut up," Meiling says as she and Kiara try to get through to Syaoran.

Sakura steps in once more and says, "She said he'll be fine, but she had to do it or something worse was going to happen."

My first thought is that Sakura's talking about another tribute, but there's no way they would have been able to get away that fast without any of us seeing her. Also, the only other female tribute in the arena is Esha, and she was just trying to kill us all an hour or so ago. Because I can think of nothing else, I start to ask Sakura what she's talking about, but Meiling beats me to it.

"What did you do?" she asks as she stands and gets so close to Sakura their faces are almost touching.

Sakura takes a step back. "Nothing. I—"

"Well it had to be something. You're not curled up on the ground stuck in some psychosis, now are you?" Meiling snaps.

"I told you. She—"

Meiling isn't hearing it. Nothing anyone says will get through to her as long as she's singularly focused on destroying whatever put Syaoran in this state. I'm actually a little surprised. I didn't know she cared for him so much.

Then Meiling lifts her hand and slaps Sakura across the face and into the sand with the back of her hand. Obviously she's forgotten I was willing to shoot her for just saying something mean to Sakura. Meiling takes a step forward and I notch an arrow to shoot her (not to kill, just to make her feel as much pain as possible so she doesn't forget again), but before either of us can do anything, Sakura's sword is in her hand and pointed at the dark haired girl's neck.

"Go ahead!" Meiling yells taking out one her long knives. "I don't care if you're knocked up. I'll break you in half with my bare hands."

"Shut the fuck up, and get over here Meiling. He's snapping out of it," Kiara yells.

Meiling stares at Sakura for a moment as though really wanting Sakura to strike at her with the sword. When Sakura lowers it, Meiling puts her blade away and goes back to tend to Syaoran.

"I can shoot them all now, if you want," I say as Sakura gets back to her feet, "We can go hunt down Jai and Esha and whoever else is left, and this will all be over by tomorrow night."

Sakura sighs and surprisingly says, "Tempting, but no, Yue. Put the arrow down. Besides, you actually like Meiling."

"Only when she's not slapping you around," I say as I put a finger under Sakura's chin and tilt her face up so I can inspect her cheek. "That only makes me want to kill her more than I might like her."

Sakura, of all things, laughs and gently brushes my hand away as she says, "It's fine. I'm fine."

I don't believe her. Something happened in that hour, something Sakura doesn't want to talk about in detail with everyone else around and whatever it is disturbed her so much that it obviously distracted her from her overwhelming fear of the dark.

* * *

**AN:** So as I was prepping this chapter, I realized I mis-numbered the chapters, so there's one more chapter in this story than I thought I had. I guess that's good for you all though. Hope you enjoyed.

Remember I ask for **at least** **2 reviews before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two.

Remember, reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


	24. Chapter 24

**24**

Syaoran recovers, but he won't talk about what happened in the jungle, not to anyone except Meiling. Only when a cannon sounds do the two come back to the rest of the group. In what must be the six o'clock section, a claw from a hovercraft reaches into the jungle five times to collect the torn pieces of a body. We can't tell who it is, but one thing is clear: we don't plan to find out what happens in that section.

While Meiling weaves more containers to carry water and Syaoran makes a net to fish because as an unspoken rule the jungle is off limits except to get water, I add to the new map we've made. There's obviously some horrific Capitol made beast in the six o'clock section, and in the four o'clock section, based on what happened to Syaoran, I write in hallucinations with a question mark because I'm not completely sure. Kiara both cleans and uses her talent for fire to quickly cook the fish while Sakura sits and talks to Chun. By the time we decide to settle down to eat the moon is starting to rise. Then the anthem plays and goes through the tributes who have died today. Both the tributes from District One, Jin, the woman from district five, and the man from six, Blain, Sang, the man from District Ten, and the woman who saved Sakura from District Eleven. That makes eight dead today and seven yesterday. The Capitol certainly wants to get these games over as soon as possible. I don't blame them. From President Wang's point of view, the quicker these games are over and Sakura and I are dead, the sooner order returns to his country.

"They're really burning through us. Who else is it besides us and District Two now?" Kiara says.

"The District Eleven male," Sakura replies without pause and I assume she's been keeping track of the man since his district partner saved her.

Kiara nods in acknowledgement.

I can't help but wonder if I should save myself the trouble and kill everyone now or if I should let them help kill Esha, Jai, and the District Eleven Tribute. Normally, I probably would have gone with the former, but something, something that has nothing to do with sentiment, is stopping me. Not for the first time since all this started, I sense other more powerful forces at work here.

I push the thought out of my mind as a parachute with bite-sized square-shaped rolls falls in front of us.

"These are from your district, right Chun?" Syaoran asks.

Chun nods. "How many are there?"

Syaoran carefully counts and inspects the bread. I'm reminded how he did the same thing earlier with the loaf from his own district. Odd. I never took Syaoran to be the obsessive type.

"Twenty-four," Syaoran finally replies.

"An even two dozen then?" Chun asks.

I get the feeling there's something more to this question than I realize. Two dozen, twenty-four, same thing.

We divide them all evenly between us at dinner and then wait for the wave to pass through again before we decide to make camp there and ensure at least twelve hours of peace from whatever lies in the jungles. Next to us, in the eleven o'clock section, there's an annoying and persistent clicking noise, like a bunch of bugs or insects. Though it stays in the jungle, we avoid stepping in that section of the beach as not to trigger anything.

With Chun still hurt, Syaoran still recovering from the effects of whatever he experienced in the jungle today, Kiara having had only about an hour of sleep, and Meiling nursing a wound she got from Esha while at the cornucopia, I volunteer for Sakura and I to keep watch. Admittedly, my reasons for doing so aren't entirely selfless. It's true that Sakura and I are the most rested, so why shouldn't we keep watch first, but also it gives me the chance to talk to her without their prying eyes and ears. Not long after everyone else agrees with me the remaining four lay down on mats Meiling and Syaoran weaved and soon after that are all asleep.

Sakura calls forth her shield to protect our small camp before we sit on the beach together. I make sure our allies are deep in sleep before I decide to speak.

"What happened when you and Syaoran were trapped in the jungle?"

Sakura doesn't answer immediately, hands fiddling with a shell on the beach. Then she says, "I really don't know."

"Don't lie," I say and then belatedly realizing my brusque tone I add, "You're afraid of the dark."

"So?"

I watch the reflection of the moon in the rippling water as I say, "I half expected you to come out of there in a half-comatose state being in the dark by yourself for an hour, like Syaoran. So what happened?"

"I really don't know. One moment, Syaoran was standing guard while I got the water and then the darkness took over and for a while I couldn't move. I could barely breathe. I thought my heart was going to pound out my chest," Sakura admits. "But then I realized it wasn't totally dark. I could see myself. I was glowing."

"Glowing?" I ask slowly.

Sakura nodded. "With all the darkness around me, I was the only source of light, the only thing that wasn't overcome by it. And then that's when the light spirit appeared… well, she called herself Light."

"She spoke to you?" I ask. I wasn't aware spirits could talk. Mirror can talk when she needs to, but that's part of her power as a shape shifter. Most spirits don't talk. "What did she say?"

"She said that to always remember that even when times are at their darkest, be hopeful because light will follow and that if I always remember that, the darkness will never overtake me. The light will always shine through," Sakura says, but I can hear the uncertainty in her tone. Before I can ask her about it, Sakura continues, "Then her sister, Dark, appeared next to her. She said she was sorry she frightened me, but that she used her powers to neutralize whatever the Gamemakers had in that section to protect Syaoran and me."

I frown. "If she protected you and Syaoran, then why…?"

"While she protected Syaoran from what was in the jungle, she couldn't protect him from her own power. Her power can overcome the light in a person's heart and mind and leave them subject to their own darkness and fears to the point where it can drive a person mad. She said my light protected me from the effects," Sakura says. "Dark told me to tell him she was sorry for hurting him the way she did."

"Where are Dark and Light now?" I ask.

"With me," Sakura says cryptically, but I understand that she doesn't want to say it on camera, especially since the Gamemakers and President Wang are no doubt annoyed that something was able to stop their manipulations in the jungle earlier. And though Sakura didn't ask Dark to help her, no doubt they blame her.

We're silent for a while before I say, "You don't believe her."

"Believe who?"

"Light."

Sakura silently begins tossing shells in the sea. I patiently wait on her to reply. Then, finally she says, "I don't know."

"Is this about what Meiling said to you yesterday?" I ask and begin to tell her why Meiling is wrong, but Sakura interrupts me.

"No." Sakura admits and then says, "It was one thing when you said it. But then everyone else started thinking it and then Demetrius' last few dresses…"

Her voice trails off upon mentioning the stylist, and Sakura takes in a deep breath. At that point I'm certain something happened to Demetrius before she was put in the arena. I can't ask her here though. Instead I wait for Sakura to continue.

"And now Light and Dark. But how can any of that be true when all I do is cause people to die or get hurt for me," Sakura says in a bitter tone, filled with a type of resigned regret if I had to describe it.

"That's not true."

"It is," Sakura says. "Kero died, that District Ten tribute died, you're planning to die. Meiling's right about me."

"You just said it wasn't about what she said."

"Fine. Not entirely. But she is right. I can stop you," Sakura says.

I start to roll my eyes and tell her otherwise but Sakura interrupts.

"Admit it, Yue. If I told you not to in the last Magic Games, you wouldn't have killed anyone. We would have found a way to outlast the others."

I don't answer immediately, mostly because I don't want to admit that she could be right. Maybe we could have found a way to outlast the others. Maybe I didn't have to resort to killing anyone. Only maybe though. While there may have been a chance, it's still highly unlikely. The Gamemakers wouldn't have allowed it.

"I wanted you to kill them all last year. I didn't have any intention of stopping you. I wanted us to be the last two standing. I want you to kill everyone this year, in the end at least. I want it to be the two of us again. And just because it's to save you doesn't mean it's not a selfish or a terrible thing. See? I'm no light."

The me from before the Magic Games would have rolled his eyes and harshly forced Sakura out of her pity party. Now is different. I still can't let her wallow in her own pity, but there has to be a more tactful way to make her stop beating herself up than bluntness and harshness no matter how natural it is for me to fall into that method.

"Yes you are," I finally say as I turn to face her. "All that may be true. You may want all these people to die. You may be using my own strength against myself to get what you really want, but that doesn't matter. Despite all that, you manage to bring out the best in people, things people don't even realize about themselves. And even if the best part of a person is shrouded by the worst of them, you always hope for the best. You never despair. It inspires people. It makes them want to fight another day even when they don't want to. You give them cause. Sure they die. Sure you might cause some of their deaths. But it's worth it. Of course they would die if it were to protect their light, even if it sometimes burns."

Sakura huffs. "I thought you hated that about me. You always told me to grow up."

Even though it's a harsh truth, I'm not offended by it. Instead I reply, "I didn't want you to get hurt."

"That's what I have you for," she jokes.

I frown. "Not always."

"Not this morbid stuff again," Sakura groans.

"Can you face it this time? That we're not coming out of this arena together."

"I know that."

"Let me rephrase that. That I'm not letting anyone but you get out of this arena alive, no matter how much you've planned with Clow behind my back. And don't lie. I know you have," I say. Sakura doesn't reply, which confirms what I already knew about her and Clow. But what Sakura doesn't seem to realize is that Clow has no intention of letting the daughter of his former best friend die. He's humoring her. I just hope she'll forgive him when she finally does figure it out.

"There are a lot of people who depend on you, Sakura," I say.

"Not like they depend on you."

We're both vaguely referring to the rebellion that's taking place in the country, but for all the Capitol people know, we're talking about the people back home in our district.

"For what? To shoot an arrow? To fight? That's good for the arena, but what use is that outside of this place?" I ask.

Then Sakura looks at me with that look. That determined look that preceded her suicide attempt at the end of the Magic Games the previous year. But this time I'm not afraid of it. This time, I hope she'll latch onto whatever desperation she's feeling right now to help the districts later.

Finally she says very deliberately, "I depend on you. I need you. I _love _you."

I'm momentarily taken by surprise. Though I've always know the depth of Sakura's feelings for me, I've never heard the words out her mouth. How in the world did she get away without ever once telling me that in the last year, even on camera? Maybe because it was so obvious that she never needed to say it. Still, hearing the words changes everything and it takes me a few seconds to not just register what she has said, but resist the innate urge to close up and distance.

Finally I sigh. She's going to be heartbroken in the end. That's inevitable. But I'm not going to be the one to do it, so rather than reply to her confession, I say instead, "Whatever happens, don't change, Sakura. Keeping fighting until the end. Never give up. Everything will be alright."

"You don't even believe that," Sakura says.

"But you do. You always have. So keep believing it," I say.

Sakura stares at me for a while, eyes gazing directly into mine. Her eyes convey emotions that there probably aren't words for but then they steel into determination. And then, very unexpectedly, her lips are against my own. Without thinking about it, I return the gesture. We're both desperate and as much as I've tried to make Sakura accept what's going to happen in the end, neither of us are very willing to fully accept our tragic fate. As I we kiss on the beach, sometimes pulling away just long enough to gaze at each other before kissing again, I completely forget that we have an audience. I only remember that we're even in the Magic Game arena when we hear the first strike of lightning that signals the lightning storm in the twelve o'clock section, and it diverts Sakura's and my attention. For once though, I'm not embarrassed that people are probably watching this. If the rest of my life is going to be played out on television, I might as well do what I want. In fact, if it weren't for the fact that the lightning awoke Syaoran also, we probably would have gone back to kissing.

"I can't sleep," Syaoran says. "One of you can sleep. Both of you can actually. I can watch alone."

"It's too dangerous," I say and then turn to Sakura. "You go to sleep."

Sakura looks like she wants to protest, but before she can argue, I suggest she just lie next to me if she insists on being stubborn. She does so and not long after she does, she's asleep. It will likely be the last restful sleep she gets. Something tells me that tomorrow will be our last day in the arena. With that in mind, I unclip the earring that I've someone managed not to lose from my ear and place it on Sakura's left one. She probably won't even notice it's there in the morning.

When Kiara wakes up a few hours later to take over my watch, I carry Sakura over to where the others are asleep and lie her on one of the mats in the sand before lying next to her. As I close my eyes and drift off to sleep I feel the longsuffering patience and exasperation of someone in something that feels more like a distant memory than a dream.

"_You worry too much, Yue," the older Sakura says gently._

"_You don't worry enough," comes the response._

"_Because of my invincible phrase." _

"_You still believe in that?"_

_She laughs and though her companion tries to appear frustrated, he can't hide the twitch of a smile at the corner of his lips._

_She presses a chaste kiss to his cheek and says, "Surely, everything will be alright."_

Now halfway asleep, I smile only slightly and mutter, "I hope so, Sakura."

* * *

**AN:** Yay! More romance. A breath of fresh air with everything that's always happening. So there are only three more chapters and the last two chapter will be posted together. If I get the reviews, this story will likely be fully posted by the end of the week. Wow! Anyway, hope you enjoyed. Got to finish working on another original writing project.

I ask for **at least** **2 reviews before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two before I'll update the next chapter.


	25. Chapter 25

**25**

For better or for worse, this is the last day of the 75th annual Magic Games. It's the first thought that comes to my mind when I wake up the next morning. Everyone else is already awake, watching a parachute fall from the sky. Inside, there are once again rolls from District Three. Once again Syaoran carefully counts and inspects each one. Once again, there are twenty-four rolls. Three times Syaoran has done this and if he were any more fidgety, I would chalk it up to some kind of obsessive compulsion, but Syaoran hasn't displayed any other kinds of compulsive behavior. Why do I get the feelings that this bread is some kind of message that only Syaoran knows how to interpret? Just like I could interpret what Sakura and I needed to do for the cameras based on what Clow sent us or didn't send us.

Before I can ponder the issue, Meiling notices I'm awake and ushers me over while saying, "Come over here Yue. We know how to make you pretty again."

I have no clue what she's talking about until she grabs my arm, showing the patches of skin that haven't healed as quickly as they might have if I weren't constantly exerting myself and using magic for other things. Then she shows me how to rub sand up and down my arms and the rest of my body to get rid of the remaining peeling scabs revealing the new skin underneath, like she, Syaoran, and Sakura have been doing.

Speaking of Sakura, she seems considerably less melancholy than she was last night.

"Chun has a plan," she says to me.

"A plan?" I ask.

Sakura nods to Chun who is waiting for Syaoran to wake up Kiara before speaking. When Kiara groggily joins us, Chun begins to speak.

"I think we can all agree that we need to kill the remaining three tributes outside of us, especially Esha and Jai," Chun says as he plays with his wire. "We outnumber them, so they won't openly attack us and tracking them down would be dangerous, let alone exhausting and tedious, work."

I can agree with that. It's part of the reason I haven't killed everyone else off yet. I could hunt Jai and Esha down myself, but our allies make it much easier.

"Do you think they've figured out the clock?" Sakura asks.

"If not, they'll figure it out soon enough," I say. "They had to wonder why the Gamemakers spun the Cornucopia. It's not that hard to figure out."

"Exactly," Chun says as he urges us all to scoot back so he can draw a blueprint of the Cornucopia in the sand. "If you were Jai and Esha, knowing what you know about the jungle, where would you feel safest?"

"The beach, obviously," I say reminded of the first conversation I had with Chun in training. He talks to us like one of my old teachers, trying to guide us along to the only possible conclusion or, at least, the conclusion he wants us to see.

"So why aren't they on the beach?" Chun asks.

"Because we're here, Volts. Get to the point," Meiling says impatiently.

Chun ignores Meiling's impatience and continues. "Exactly, So where would you go?"

"The edge of the jungle so I can escape an attack or to spy," I reply.

"And to eat. If they're spying on us, they know the seafood is safe," Syaoran replies.

"Good," Chun says with a smile. "Now here's the plan. What happens at noon and midnight?"

I have to resist the urge to snap at Chun to stop treating us like we're an elementary school class. Luckily, Sakura responds that the lightning strikes the tree.

Chun nods. "Yes. So what I'm suggesting is that after the bolt hits at noon, but before it hits at midnight, we run my wire from that tree all the way down into the saltwater, which is, of course, highly conductive. When the bolt strikes, the electricity will travel down the wire and into not only the water but also the surrounding beach, which will still be damp from the ten o'clock wave. Anyone in contact with those surfaces at that moment will be electrocuted," Chun explains.

While Chun is probably the smartest of all of us when it comes to this kind of stuff so I have no room to argue, the strategist in me can't help but notice this plan seems way too simple. There are a lot of variables that will affect the outcome of this plan. First of all, it depends on Jai, Esha, and the District Eleven tribute actually being on the beach. Next, it seems rather elaborate and very much a waste of time to catch just three tributes. Honestly, it would be easier for me to track and kill them. Then there's the question of whether Chun's wire can really harness the electricity that strikes that tree, particularly of the magical variety if it comes from the spirit trapped inside the force field.

Seems like I'm not the only one at least a little concerned about my last thought because Sakura says, "Are you sure it can take that? That wire looks like it will burn up."

"Oh, it will. But not until the current has passed through it. It will act something like a fuse, in fact. Except the electricity will travel along it," says Chun.

"How do you know?" Kiara asks.

"Because I invented it," says Chun.

"How about lightning of the magic variety?' Syaoran asks.

"It'll work," Chun says with a certainty that we can't argue with, like he knows something we don't.

"And where should we be when this happens?" Syaoran asks.

"In the jungle," Chun replies.

"Then the Careers will be safe too unless they're near the water," I point out, drawing attention to the variable Chun seems to have little concern about.

"True," Chun says.

"We won't have the sea as a food source anymore," I add.

"Yes. But there's more food sources in the jungle, correct?" Chun asks.

I nod.

"And we have sponsors," Sakura reminds.

"Then I don't see a problem. But as allies, this will require all of our efforts. The decision is up to you all."

The others quickly nod, but I hesitate. I really can't argue with Chun on this, despite my reservations about it. At best, we kill the other three tributes. At worst, we destroy the sea as a food source, but we always have the jungle.

"No harm in trying," I finally agree, not adding that there's no harm in it for Sakura and I. I've decided that they're all dead after we've helped Chun with his plan, whether it works or not.

After finalizing the plan, we take Chun into the jungle to inspect the tree in the twelve o'clock section. Then, after the wave passes, we settle once again in the ten o'clock section of the jungle. With nothing better to do because we have to trust Chun to know what he's doing with the wire, we take turns resting in the shade of the jungle. Then late in the afternoon, Syaoran puts us all to work in to spear fish and gather shellfish. Since I'm the only one other than him and Meiling that can swim, he sends me to the bottom of the sea with Meiling to dive for oysters.

There's no way we can eat the amount of seafood food we've managed to gather, especially not when we're sent yet another twenty-four rolls which we once again split evenly between us after Syaoran has counted them. No one besides me hesitates to gorge themselves on the seafood and seeing this, Sakura and Syaoran both do their best to hand feed me. While Sakura's actions aren't surprising, Syaoran's are, and I wonder if he has a death wish. Or maybe he knows I plan to kill him anyway. Then Meiling gets in on it, saying that I need my strength.

"You won't be saying that when you're so heavy you won't be able to walk," I reply as I lie down in the sand, having had my fill and lost the patience to humor Sakura and Syaoran.

As the late afternoon gives way to the evening, the anthem begins to play. There are no tributes in the sky tonight. The Capitol could be restless or maybe they have a feeling that the end is near and have already started placing their bets for what is undoubtedly the shortest Magic Games in history.

At around nine, we clean up our camp, throwing the leftovers back into the sea so the careers don't get it and then head to the twelve o'clock beach and into the jungle to set up Chun's trap. I stand guard, paying little attention to Chun as he unravels the wire because I still can't make sense of this plan.

A little while after the wave passes, Chun reveals that he'll need two of us to take the spool to the twelve o'clock beach, unwinding the wire along the way, before dropping it into the sea, making sure that it sinks to the bottom. Since Syaoran and I are the fastest, Chun sends us and Meiling goes as guard. I start to argue that Meiling and Syaoran can go alone, but Chun reiterates that there's no time to argue about this. We have to leave now. I grudgingly agree, leaving Sakura with Chun and Kiara. As much as I can't stand Kiara, she seems to like Sakura about as genuinely as Kero did. She's in safe hands for now.

"We should hurry," Meiling says. "I want to put as much distance between me and that beach as possible just in case Volts miscalculated anything."

I agree with her. While Meiling stands guard and Syaoran holds the spool, I lay out the wire. It's tiring and takes more work than one would think.

"Can you hurry it up?" Meiling asks.

"You can help instead of standing there watching," I snap.

"Fine," Meiling says rolling her eyes. "Let me hold your bows and arrow for you."

It wasn't what I had in mind, but Meiling taking the two items from me makes it a lot easier for me to lay the wire down. We go a little ways more when I sense it, the shift in the breathing, the unnerving quiet that's present right before something attacks. I turn around just time to see Syaoran lifting the metal spool to hit me in the head with it. Instinctively, I create the crystalline daggers and shoot them at him. I've never shot them so close in range and the effect is that they throw Syaoran backwards into a tree, knocking him out cold, one dagger embedding itself in his thigh.

Meiling starts to laugh. "That idiot. I told him it wouldn't work. I told him you had the walk to back up the attitude."

I turn to look at Meiling, not sure whether to attack her or ask her what's going on. I decide to shoot first and ask questions later. I reach my hand behind me only to grab onto nothing and only remember that I gave my bow and arrows to Meiling when she tosses them aside and sighs.

"This was supposed to be a tag team," Meiling says. "But now it looks like I'll have to do it myself."

Without warning, Meiling does a flip and lands behind me, putting me in the same lock, I put Ruby in a year ago during training. I hear the girl take out her knife and say, "Now hold still for me."

It's feeling the knife dig into me that brings me to my senses. I shift the center of my weight, taking advantage of the fact that Meiling's much smaller than me, drop to one knee and throw her sideways.

Meiling is instantly back on her feet, muttering, "Damn it. I'm going to have to knock him out. Really didn't want to have to do that."

"You'll try," I say running for my bow and arrows. They're my best shot at taking Meiling down. I won't even pretend I could beat her in combat.

Meiling notices my trajectory and leaps up, grabs a tree branch and swings herself in front of me, throwing her fist forward with the full weight of her body for a knockout punch. I move sideways, deciding that it's not a good idea to take Meiling head on, even if I am physically stronger than her. Instead I take a few body shots at her to slow her down before going for my bow and arrows again.

"Damn it," Meiling says holding onto her chest where I punched her. "What are you? A photographic learner. Most people would have forgotten that."

She's referring to her teaching me hand to hand combat in training. I don't bother trying to answer her. It's wasted energy. I manage to grab my bow and five arrows at once. I turn to Meiling to shoot her, but she's not crazy enough to test her chances against me and a handful of arrows. She's seen me shoot. She knows I'd have her dead in the first shot. She grabs a low hanging branch and pulls herself into a tree. I shoot two of the arrows after her, but she's using the foliage as cover. I walk forward with an arrow ready, waiting for her to come out. I hear the barely audible sound of the foliage behind me and turn and let an arrow fly. Meiling swings past the arrow and me on a vine, and before I can turn around, she swings back around and tackles me forward to the ground.

As she straddles me and hold my arms locked behind me, she leans forwards and whispers, "Would you just chill out and listen for a second. We're not trying to kill you."

"Could have fooled me," I say.

"You can't tell me you haven't figured something out yet. You can't tell me you didn't notice," Meiling whispers harshly.

I start to struggle against her to find a way to dislodge her, but then what she says sinks in. The exchanged looks, not attacking me even when I had an arrow aimed on Meiling, Syaoran bringing me back to life, the District 11 tribute throwing herself in front of Sakura. It's only the beginning of a myriad of other weird things that I've noticed and make no sense on their own. But together, they form a picture. The tributes haven't been trying to kill us or even keep us close so they can kill us later. They've been trying to keep us alive the whole time. And why go through all that trouble only to betray us now, when they've had more than one opportunity to try to kill us if they really wanted to?

"_Remember who the real enemy is."_

Those were Clow's last words to me. I didn't understand what he meant, but he figured I'd figure it out and I have. The real enemy: the people who have a choice, the people who could stop all this but choose not to. Meiling, Syaoran, Kiara. They aren't those people. I still don't know why or to what end, but with the bigger picture is becoming clearer and clearer to me, I decide to ignore my instincts and do something that doesn't come natural to me.

Trust.

"Took you long enough," Meiling says as she grabs my left arm again. "Now be still this time."

There's a sharp blinding pain in my arm, but before I can ask Meiling what she's doing, two things happen. A cannon sounds, and I hear a knife whizzing through the air.

"Move," I say, turning the upper half of my body around, grabbing Meiling's shoulders and pulling us both down to the ground.

"Fuck," Meiling says and we both turn around to see Esha getting ready to attack us with a spear.

I sit up and shoot and arrow at her, causing her to duck behind a tree. I start to shoot another, but Meiling stops me.

"No! No. It's almost time. Go find Chun, Kiara, and Sakura," she says standing to her feet. "I can take care of her."

For once, I don't argue. I run as fast as I can back to the tree, ignoring even the sound of a cannon followed shortly by another as I do so. I hope that means that Meiling took care of Esha at least. Hoping is all I can do though. I can't worry about it. I'm not sure how much time I wasted fighting Meiling, but I know it's close to midnight. I use the wire as a guide, making sure not to step on it for fear that the lightning will strike at any moment and willing away the lightheadedness I feel trying to creep up on me from the blood gushing out my arm. When I make it to the tree, Sakura and Kiara are nowhere in sight, and Chun is laying slumped on the ground against the tree.

"Chun," I say when I see the gash in his left forearm. "Chun. What happened?"

He moans something inaudible and I curse, heart racing as I try to figure out what happened, trying to ignore the instinct to feel that I've been betrayed despite all the clues pointing elsewhere. As I do so, I see a knife in Chun's hand, his wire wrapped around it. I tug on it and see that the wire attached to the knife is wrapped around the tree. This wasn't part of the plan Chun told us. Then again, nothing has been what it seems and once again, with Chun knocked out, I have to figure out what it means.

"Yue," a voice says as a body crashes into me.

I'm so startled I turn around and start to raise an arrow. Then I realize it's Sakura.

"What happened?" I demand.

"The Careers attacked. Kiara drew Esha off and I led Jai away."

"Where's Jai?" I ask.

"Dead," Sakura replies and I don't ask how. I don't really care. Time is running out.

I look over at Chun, trying to figure out what's happening. Then my eyes rest on the gash on his left forearm. The same place Meiling cut me open. The same place our trackers are. That's when I remember my first conversation with Chun. He was rambling about a weak spot in the force field. The force field…

The plan isn't just to keep us alive. The plan is to escape.

The sound of the beetles in the jungle next to us is fading which means I don't have a lot of time.

"Can you seal it?" I ask Sakura quickly.

Sakura opens her mouth to ask what, but when she follows my gaze, she knows I mean the spirit trapped in the force field.

"Thunder?" she asks, and I take that to be what she's named the trapped spirit. "Why?"

"Can you seal it?" I ask again.

She looks down at her shield.

"In here… temporarily," she says. "But why…"

"Good," I say.

I have to act fast, so without preamble I take a knife from my belt, grab Sakura's left arm and pull her towards me.

"Yue, wha—" Sakura cries out as I dig the knife into her skin. When I find her tracker, I cut it out and another cannon sounds.

I don't have time to apologize to her for doing this. I don't even have time to explain to her what's going on. I just hope she'll forgive me for it later. But with time ticking away, I can't just leave it like this. I have a good feeling it will be a long time before I see Sakura again, if I ever see her again.

I place both my hands on the side of her head and lean my forehead against hers, ignoring the confused look in her eyes. Everything will be clear later.

"Don't be afraid. Show everyone you can fight. Show everyone the way. Be their beacon," I whisper to her. And then I feel something well up inside me, something I've felt before but not as desperate, not as ferocious as I feel it now. Whatever it is causes me to kiss her one last time and then say with a surety, "I love you."

I have no time to be shocked by my own admission. I've already wasted enough time. I create a magic arrow, slide the wire off the hilt of Chun's knife, and then wrap it around the arrow.

Chun's plan was good in theory, but it would have never worked with this magic force field, powered by a trapped spirit. But with my arrows, his plan will work. I don't know what Chun's weak spot looks like, but I don't need to. If this is just like the force field in the training center, I won't need a weak spot.

"Stand back and be ready," I say to Sakura.

Then I lift my bow, all the while ignoring the searing pain in my left arm, and shoot the arrow. Just like last year, before my arrow hits the field, it disappears, but I know it's appeared on the other side when I see the wire, infused with my arrow's magic being pulled through.

Lightning suddenly strikes the tree, a flash of white runs up the wire, the dome bursts throwing me far backwards into a tree and releasing the spirit inside. The bolt of lightning that is the spirit shoots towards Sakura, who raises her shield which glows pink and gold, but doesn't disappear. Instead it somehow absorbs the spirit.

Sakura, with her shield raised, the flames of the now burning arena dancing around her, is the last thing I see before my vision blurs and then becomes black.

* * *

**AN:** Two more chapters to go. Two chapters that will be posted at the same time. So theoretically if I get the right amount of reviews, I can have the last two chapters up by tomorrow evening and then we'll be done with this story. I have some ending notes to, but let me not get too far ahead of myself. Hope you enjoyed.

I ask for **at least** **2 reviews before I post the next chapter. **When I get that many, I'll post the next chapter within 24-72 hours (one to three days) it just depends on how long it takes me to prep the chapter for updating. Of course, more reviews will make me get to prepping a chapter to be updated a little faster, but I'm asking for at least two before I'll update the next chapter.


	26. Chapter 26

**26**

Wherever I am, it's nighttime and I'm up very high, because I see a city before me, lit up in the darkness with bright lights. It's odd. The only place it looks like it could be is the Capitol, but the Capitol looks nothing like this. I also know it's not a dream though. It's like when I talked to Clow last year at the end of the Magic Games. Not a dream, but not the physical world either.

"Where is this?" I ask aloud.

I get an unexpected answer.

"Somewhere that used to be very special to you," says a woman's voice from next to me.

I glance to my right to see a tall regal woman with pale skin and long white flowing hair that falls over her shoulders and down her back, with curled pieces framing her face on the sides. She's wearing a crown and an elaborate dress that exposes her shoulders and the golden sun that rests beneath her collar bone. But what really catches my attention is that she's glowing slightly. It's this glow that makes me realize that this is a spirit and somehow, I know exactly which one.

"Light," I say.

"You remember," she says gently. It reminds me of Windy.

"Sakura told me about you," I say and then add, "Sakura… Where's—"

"She's safe," Light says and then adds, "Unfortunately, you are not."

I calmly lean on some type of curved metal beam and let out a slow breath, not particularly alarmed by Light's revelation. I haven't been truly safe in a long time, so that's nothing new.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"There's going to be a war," Light responds. "And just like last time, you and Sakura are key players in its resolution."

"Last time," I say and then remember the strange dreams I had. "She died in it the last time, didn't she?"

"Yes."

"How did I die?"

Light shrugs. "I don't know. She released most of us by then, and I went with her soul like I've always been."

I turn to her. "Then why are you here? Why aren't you with her?"

"Don't worry. My sister and the other card spirits will protect her. She'll be fine."

"Doesn't answer my question."

Light pauses, staring out into the city for a while before she says, "She sent me with you."

"When?"

"After we talked in the arena," Light says simply.

"Why?"

"Because a star is self-illuminated. The moon doesn't have its own light. It reflects the light of the nearest star. Sakura doesn't want you to succumb to your own darkness," Light replies. Then she adds, "It's going to be difficult for you for a while, Yue."

"I know," I say. Light doesn't need to tell me that. It's always been difficult, but somehow I know things are about to be worse. Curiosity is starting to get the better of me though, so I ask, "What is this place?"

"Tokyo Tower," Light says.

Tokyo… Why does that name sound familiar? Then I remember that Tokyo was the capital of Japan before Magea existed, before Japan became the Capitol.

"So I guess that legend isn't a legend," I say. I see Light nod out the corner of my eyes. "We were the three friends. Sakura, Cerberus, and I." Light nods again. "How can such a magic be so strong to last this long?"

Light laughs. "You're not going to like the answer."

"Why?"

"Because you don't believe in sentiment."

"Try me."

Light sighs. "There's only thing that can transcend even the most powerful magic, a type of magic in and of itself really. It's why Sakura's such a threat right now. Love."

She's right. I don't like the answer. I start to scoff when Light adds, "It can make you do the impossible and defy even the worst odds. You and Sakura have already proven that. It can save you again if you let it."

The lights in the city are suddenly starting to go out, and I instantly know that means my conversation with Light is about to be over. She turns to me and grabs my hands, forcing me to turn to her. All the lights in the city are gone now, the only illumination being the bright lights of the tower we're standing on.

"I'll be with you," Light assures. "But remember what I said. Always remember your light. Focus on it. Don't let them win."

Then lights of the tower go out and Light fades away, but somehow it's not totally dark. There's a star in the distance, shining brightly. And just like Light told me, I focus on it.

* * *

When I wake up in a bright empty room, I already know where I am. Light prepared me for it. So I'm not at all surprised when I see President Wang standing over me, my body restrained to the bed I'm on. For a while, we simply stare at each other, and I really look at him for the first time. Tall, black hair with wisps of gray, hard linear features, not looking a day over perhaps forty though I know he's much older. He smells like roses, which don't smell all too good on their own if I'm honest, but he also smells like something else, something more repulsive which the smell of roses does nothing to mask. Just hearing his name used to make me feel angry and disgusted, so I can find no words to describe how I feel now that we're in a room alone together. The only thing I can put words to is the overwhelming desire to kill him.

Finally I look away, towards the ceiling.

"I can't believe this is the first time we've spoken," he says. "I have to say, it's long overdue."

I haven't figured out whether I'm going to talk to him or not, so I don't say anything yet. I'll let him keep talking until I decide.

"You've been such a troublesome thorn in my side since you volunteered to go into the Magic Games with that girl," he states. "Surprise after surprise until I was sure you had no more surprises, especially after the chaos you caused in the last interview. But I have to say, you certainly surprised me again when you destroyed the arena."

That wasn't my plan. That was Chun's idea. I just carried it out, but I suppose the president doesn't see it that way. It's just another act of defiance. I'm just glad that I haven't been the only one dealing with unpleasant surprises this past year.

"And now, you're finally here?"

I decide to talk. Better to get as much information as possible, though I make sure to sound more indifferent than I've ever sounded in my life.

"And now that I'm finally here, what do you have planned?" I ask in a monotone. "Going to torture information I don't have out of me? Kill me for continuing to be defiant? How about cutting out my tongue?"

"I would have thought you were much more imaginative than that?" the president says dryly.

"Enlighten me."

President Wang is silent and for a while I doubt I'm going to get an answer. Then he says, "The rebellion may be fooled. District Thirteen may even be fooled. But they may have lost their guardian, but they still have their light, the symbol of hope that will keep them going forward. The beacon that lights the way and lately has been starting to burn."

I'm glad I decided to talk, because in those few sentences, President Wang has revealed so much. District Thirteen exists. There's a rebellion, and Sakura has always been the bigger threat. I was just always able to distract everyone because I could shoot a bow and arrow. In a way, Meiling was right about what she thought of Sakura.

"But as long as I have you," President Wang adds, "I can control the fire."

If it weren't for the fact that I don't want to give anything away, I would scoff laugh. He plans to break Sakura using me. It will never happen. Sakura and I are alike in the sense that we hate to play by other people's rules when it's against our own moral coding, no matter how grey they might be. Sakura's not going to risk all of Magea for one life. She'll struggle, she may be heartbroken for a while, but she'll eventually keep fighting even when all is lost. She'll get desperate and then the president will be dealing with much more than he ever bargained for. Hasn't he learned it yet? Did he learn anything from last year's Magic Game? Maybe not.

But I've learned a lot.

I know that the Capitol is going to do their best to break me and in doing so, think they'll break Sakura in the process. But I told her to fight back and if she won't stop fighting, neither will I, even if I have to pretend I have, pretend to be broken to fool the Capitol. Even if I have to let myself be broken sometimes. And while they think they're succeeding, I'll learn everything I can from them, all their plans, how the inner workings of the Capitol really work. And then I'll escape to District Thirteen. President Wang's in for one last surprise.

Seeing that I'm done talking, President Wang leaves. I don't spare him a last glance though. Instead I remember what Light said.

_Always remember your light. Focus on it. Don't let them win._

Don't let them win. Demetrius said the same thing. And while I may be out of the arena, I'm still in the Magic Games, and more than people trying to kill you, the real problem of the Magic Games are the psychological games they make a tribute play. Wondering if a friend is really a friend. If and when your ally will turn on you. If what you did was for the cameras and survival or if it's what you would do anyway. It disturbs a tribute's sense of reality until it paralyzes you or makes you act irrationally out of fear. I know that first hand.

So I do something I saw in passing on the Capitol television. There was a psychiatrist trying to heal a person who had lost their sense of reality. It resonated with me because I'm always fighting to figure out what's real and what's not after so much pretending this last year. The psychiatrist told the person to say all the things they knew to be real or true. I don't know if it worked. I ended up turning off the television in anger because some Capitolite thought he had problems but never had to worry about participating in the Magic Games. Still, I do it anyway. Starting from the most insignificant and going to the more significant things I know to be true, things I won't stop knowing to be real no matter what the Capitol does to break me or convince me otherwise.

_My name is Yue. I'm nineteen years old. I was in the Magic Games. I was taken prisoner. Sakura escaped. She's alive and safe. She loves me. I love her. President Wang is the enemy. I'm going to kill him._

* * *

**AN:** And onto the next chapter…


	27. Chapter 27

**27**

Everything happened so fast, I couldn't even begin to process it. Even now, as I wake up fully, after multiple times of waking and being put back to sleep, what happens in the arena isn't clear. I saw what happened. I know what happened. But at the same time I don't know

_Okay Sakura. Start from the beginning, _I think to myself.

There was Chun's plan which didn't really make any sense to anyone. We went to the lightning tree and Chun began to wrap the wire around the tree. He sent Meiling, Syaoran, and Yue to spread the wire along the beach and drop the coil into the water. Kiara suddenly grabbed Chun's arm and did something with her ax and then the careers attacked. Kiara led Esha away. I led Jai away. On the way, we came across the District Eleven male. Jai killed him and in return, I used magic to take control of the foliage and choke Jai until he died… I killed Jai. I actively killed him. I don't know what came over me. One minute I was watching him behead the District Eleven male and the next… No. I can't dwell on that right now. I have to focus. I have to figure out what happened. After I… After Jai died, I met Yue back at the tree.

That's where everything gets confusing, where I know what happened, but don't know at the same time. None of it makes sense, from him cutting my arm open to his last words to me to destroying the arena and asking me to temporarily seal Thunder. His last words to me really confuse me.

_Don't be afraid. Show everyone you can fight. Show everyone the way. Be their beacon._

What was he talking about? Why would he say that? What had he figured out that I hadn't? But those weren't his last words. Were they?

_I love you._

Did he really say that or did I imagine it? No he said it. He actually said it. And Yue never says anything that he doesn't mean. So it must be true, right? I sigh. Why does Yue always have to decide things like that in life or death situations? Why couldn't he have told me that on the roof of the training center when he asked me to kiss him? I'll ask him about it later… I frown. If there is a later.

That's when I realize I'm on a bed in a bright room. My left arm where Yue cut me is bandaged, and lying on a bed next to me is Chun. My heart begins to race in anticipation and fear. The Capitol won't like what we did. Destroying the arena, freeing Thunder, sealing it in my shield. I jump off the bed, even though my legs are unsteady, even though I'm only dressed in a thin nightgown. No doubt we've been captured, and I have every intention of getting out of here.

When I peek out into the hall, there are no guards to stop me. I roll my eyes. You would think with my affinity for magic and spirits, the Capitol would know by now that it's not a good idea to leave me alone, in a place with no cameras to boot.

I make my way out the hall, with every intention to find Yue. They must have kept him pretty far from me because I can't sense him nearby. But I'll find him. And when I do, we're leaving the Capitol, leaving Magea like we should have the day Toya was whipped but I was too stubborn and angry to do. Shadowy is back living in my shadow again, and I'll ask him to help Yue and I travel through the shadows to somewhere safe, where no one will find us. I wasn't ready to do it before, but now there's nothing else we can do. It's too dangerous to stay.

I don't find Yue, but I do find a room with a metal door that's slightly open. I really shouldn't stop, but maybe whoever is there will give me a clue as to what's going on and where I can find Yue. Before I can listen though, Clow, of all people, calls me into the room.

"I know you're there, Sakura. You can come in."

I tentatively take a step inside, surprised to find Clow, Syaoran, and Kiara sitting at a table with Kaho Mizuki, the Head Gamemaker of all people. Yue thought she was weird when he danced with her, and that's the extent of what I know about her other than the fact that she's not supposed to be a friend of ours.

So before I can stop myself, I blurt out, "What's _she_ doing here?"

"Have a seat, Sakura," Clow says. "We'll explain it to you."

I take the empty seat next to Syaoran. Then Kaho passes me a bowl of broth, a roll of bread and a spoon.

"You should eat," she says gently.

"Thank you," I mutter. But I have no appetite right now. My heart is racing and there's a sinking feeling in my stomach that I can't get rid of. The feeling only gets worse when Clow begins to explain.

Chun's plan was never to electrocute the rest of the tributes. The plan was always to escape the arena and over half the districts were in on the plan. Kaho Mizuki has been part of an undercover group who wants to overthrow the Capitol. She made sure the wire Chun needed to blow up the arena was part of the cornucopia supplies. The bread in the arena was code for the time of the rescue. The district where the bread originated the day and the number of rolls the hour. The hovercraft belongs to District Thirteen.

I can barely think, let alone comprehend what all this means or know what to feel about it. All I can do is sit quietly and wait for someone to continue, because there must be more to this story. This is one of those moments I really need Yue. He always knows the right question to ask in these types of situation. The sinking feeling in my stomach gets worse. His painful absence at this table hasn't gone unnoticed.

"We couldn't tell you and Yue," Kaho says. "It was risky enough when I showed him this watch on the Victory Tour." Kaho holds up a unique looking pocket watch on a chain. "Of course, I was just trying to gain his trust as a mentor then. I didn't know you were going back into the arena."

"And trust me, it wasn't easy," Clow says.

That's something I understand. Yue's incredibly shrewd. Anything that even looks like it might be out of place or out of the ordinary catches his attention. He files these things away until he can figure out why later. It's almost impossible to keep a secret from him.

"And in the end, he figured it out anyway," Syaoran says as he takes my left arm and looks at the bandage wrapped around it. "He knew to take out your tracker before destroying the arena."

"But why not tell us anything? Why risk not telling Yue of all people? He could have ruined your entire plan. He wanted to kill you all on the beach after Meiling slapped me," I say. Even now I have no idea why Yue let them all live so long.

"It was a gamble we had to take, sweetheart," Kiara says. "One reason is that you two would have been the first ones the Capitol wanted to capture. The less you both knew the better. The other is that we all know Yue has a mind of his own. You both do. You proved that in the Magic Games. He would have ruined everything if he knew the entire plan, if he knew—"

"The plan was always to get both of you out," Clow interrupts.

"Don't sugarcoat it," Kiara snaps at Clow. "Don't treat her like a little girl who needs to be protected all the time. We're telling her everything."

"But it was," Kaho said.

Kiara laughs. "No. The plan was get them both out if we could, but to get Yue out at all costs, even if we had to leave her," Kiara says while nodding toward me.

"Get Yue out?" I ask. "Why?"

"It was all the president of District Thirteen's idea," Syaoran says. "She thought Yue would be able to help rally the districts into starting a revolution to overthrow the Capitol. She thought you were disposable."

"The problem was that not everyone agreed with her," Clow adds quickly. "There was a long debate over it until finally it was decided that we'd try to get you both out, but Yue was priority. The problem is, half the Victors were the ones who disagreed with her. Kiara was always for you getting out."

"So was I," Syaoran says, which doesn't surprise me because it's obvious he's not a fan of Yue. "Meiling wanted Yue out. Chun didn't care either way though he did say you were the more sociable one. And Sang. Sang liked you Sakura, but she wanted Yue to get out too. She agreed with the president. She thought that while you inspired hope in people and brought out the best in them, you wouldn't be able to take advantage of that ability to create momentum for a revolution."

"But Yue made that decision for us, didn't he?" Kaho asks. "Very smart young man."

Everyone keeps mentioning him, keeps saying that he interfered with their plan somehow, but no one is giving me the answer to the question I want to know. So despite how fast my heart races, despite how sick I feel, I ask the question no one seems to want me to ask.

"Where is Yue?"

The way everyone exchanges a hesitant glance tells me everything I need to know, but Clow eventually answers anyway.

"The Capitol picked him up, along with Esha and Meiling," he says.

I'm silent as I finally begin to comprehend everything, the meaning of everything they've said slowly dawning on me. They were after Yue. They were always after him. It was either both of us or him. Everyone around this table is saying that they were for me getting out, but no one is saying that they weren't going to follow their orders. It shouldn't be a big deal. I wanted to die, I wanted all the tributes to die, for Yue to win the Games anyway. I wanted him to live. But it is a big deal, because I at least thought these people cared about me. I would have at least thought they would have given me the choice, to let me prepare for it or something. Then maybe their plan to take Yue and callously leave me to the Capitol wouldn't hurt so bad. But the only thing I was to them was tool for Yue's cooperation, and even still they couldn't even get their plan right. They could have at least done that. They could have at least gotten him out. And then I never would have had to know about all this. I would have never had to know that they never wanted or cared for me to begin with. I wouldn't have minded or even known that I was an unknowing player in someone else's game.

No wonder Yue was so against making friends in the Magic Games. I thought he was being too paranoid. I always knew that we would end up having to kill each other. He didn't have to remind me of that. Everyone knew that. It was only a matter of when and who would strike first. It's the rules of the game. But now I see that all my so-called friends have stabbed me in the back in a way that is much worse than killing me.

Inexplicably, I begin to laugh. Everyone at the table is obviously concerned, but I don't care. All I care about is that I'm here and Yue's not. Clow promised we'd get him out, was in on a plan to get him out, and Yue's not here… Clow.

I stop laughing as I look at the man who's staring peculiarly at me. Why is he looking at me like that? Why does he look so guilty rather than resigned to having to put up with me like everyone else looks? Why…? Suddenly it dawns on me. Clow never had any intention of keeping his promise to me. Clow's plan was always to get me out, even though he knew I didn't want him to. Clow always planned to let Yue die.

With no warning, I lunge across the table and use my fingernails to rake him across the face. Syaoran grabs onto my waist to pull me back as I scream at Clow, scream at all of them, calling them traitors no better that the Capitol whose clutches they just took me from. Clow looks guilty as he and Kiara duck an object that randomly flies across the room in their direction. And that's when I remember I can use magic, even as more hands grab onto me.

"Sedate her," Kaho yells, seeing the realization dawn on my face.

I'm just about to call Shadow or maybe even Dark to my aide, but then I feel the needle in my arm. I don't fall asleep, but it does make me drowsy, my limbs too heavy to fight, brain too befuddled to call on the spirits to help me as I'm carried away and strapped to a table, where tubes and needles are reinserted into my arms.

"I'm sorry, Sakura," I hear Syaoran say in the haze of drugs. "Meiling and I tried to get him out. But he fought. He knocked me out and then Esha came."

His intentions are nice, but I still can't forget how they all pretended to by my friend for the sake of their plan. And my only real friend, the one who would fight for me to the end isn't here. He's been captured by the Capitol. And I'm headed to District Thirteen, where I'm not wanted but they'll have to make due.

"It's better for him than Meiling. He doesn't know anything."

Except for what he could figure out in the arena. The arena he destroyed and will no doubt be punished for destroying. I know Syaoran's trying to comfort me, but somehow, I doubt his words. For the first time, I wish Yue were dead. I wish both of us were dead. Because surely being dead would be better than being tortured by the Capitol, than being somewhere you're not wanted anyway, than feeling the pain of wanting more than anything to have the one person I know I can trust right here with me when it's next to impossible.

I don't cry though. I won't let myself. I'm not even angry. Instead I feel nothing, save an aching void and numbness that even the best medicine can't cure. I stop eating and drinking. No pang of hunger is worse compared to the way my heart aches. They can pump whatever they want into me, but that won't keep me alive forever, and it certainly won't help their rebellion.

_Don't be afraid. Show everyone you can fight. Show everyone the way. Be their beacon… I love you._

Those were Yue's last words to me. But I am afraid. I don't feel like fighting anymore. I don't feel like doing anything. So I don't. People come in and out to see me, but I say nothing, only stare blankly at the ceiling, unaware of time and place. Sleeping and waking up. But then I sense someone else, another person I can trust but had forgotten about in the aftershock of losing my number one.

"Toya," I whisper, throat raw from days of disuse. I frown. I notice the bandages then. "What happened?"

"Hey, monster."

That might have made me smile under any other circumstance. Toya hasn't called me that in years. But he's not answering my question.

"What happened?" I ask again. "Why are you here? Why aren't you in District Twelve?"

That was the right question, because Toya sighs and runs a hand through my hair.

"After the games, the Capitol sent in planes and dropped firebombs. You remember how they firebombed the black market when Kouji came," Toya says.

I nod. I watched it go up in flames in town, before Yue banned me from going into town by myself. The warehouse, covered in coal dust, didn't stand a chance. Our entire district is covered in it. I gasp as it dawns on me. The entire district, covered in coal dust just like that warehouse…

"District Twelve," I say, but can't put what I know to have happened into words.

"Sakura."

I hate the way he's talking. I know it well. It's that tentative voice you talk to a wounded animal in, the way I have talk to Yue when anything regarding his emotions is brought up.

"No."

"There is no District Twelve."

"_You worry too much, Yue," an older version of myself says._

"_You don't worry enough," this Yue, with real wings on his back, says._

"_Because of my invincible phrase." _

"_You still believe in that?"_

_She laughs and though he tries to look frustrated, he can't hide the twitch of a smile at the corner of his lips._

_She presses a chaste kiss to his cheek and says, "Surely, everything will be alright."_

Finally, the tears start to fall, and I jerk my head away from my brother's attempts to wipe them.

Everything's gone completely wrong. Nothing is alright. And I don't think anything can be alright again.

* * *

**AN:** So that's it. Story over. Now for some ending notes.

I really struggled with whether Yue or Sakura would be the one captured by the Capitol at first. There were pros and cons to both, but ultimately, Sakura being with District Thirteen made for a much more interesting story. One of the reasons, I can't say. Otherwise I'll spoil the next story. The other reason though is that we get a lot of her from Yue's point of view in these last two stories, but never Sakura's unless she tells him. That also means that, yes. The next story will have a lot of Sakura's point of view, with Yue's dropped in between every now and then. So we get to see how reliable Yue's version of what's been going on really was.

So when will this story be out? Well, I don't even know. To be honest, I'm just a little burnt out. Since June 2014, including this story, I've written three full length novels and am halfway through a fourth. So by the time this month is out, we're talking about four full length novels, back to back and not just the words that made the final cut, but scenes that weren't going anywhere and put in word documents to save for later, character outlines, plot outlines and various other pieces of work. It's tiring. Also, I need to take some time to really push and market my original novels (The links are in my profile and yes, this is a shameless plug) on Amazon and various distribution channels because I'm confident they're good. I've just had trouble tapping into my intended audience.

All that to say, I probably won't start writing this sequel for at least another four months. I probably won't start posting it for another two months after that, especially because most of it totally diverges from _Mockingjay_ and everything that I've purposely not answered and left a mystery will be answered in the next story. So I just need some time to catch my breath, figure out exactly how this story will work, and give my original work some attention. Rest assured, it will be written and hopefully, you all won't mind waiting on it.

Thanks for all the reviews and comments. These last few months have been rough and you all's reactions and speculations always managed to brighten up my day. Until next time, Lady Dae is out.


End file.
